Disciplining Children?

Question

How do you discipline a child in the us, i mean what methods do you use. if you don't use corporal punishment do you like tell them "time out" does it work, and if it does not work what will you turn to then? i mean there are lots of other things you can do to punish them but what if all these things don't work, like no television, no parties, no computer, what is the alternative if all these things don't work? i understand that a child can call the police if his parents hit him. maybe i am misunderstanding the law in the us, please clarify.

Answer 1

The kids can call the police if it is an abusive situation.  A parent has every right to spank a child as long as it is not excessive.  Obviously, if a child has an excess amount of bruising there will be a problem.  I take away my children's privledges.  This weekend, I took away all video game and computer privledges for my children not completing their chores in a timely fashion

Answer 2

tell them firmly and seriously that you will send them to boot camp or military school if he/she doesn't behave. That should get their attention. No kid wants to go to boot camp...

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Answer 3

It is legal to spank your child. Punishments for bad behaviour is highly disputed among parents and experts.  

Answer 4

you can always use time outs, ground them for a certain amount of time or from doing certain things.

Answer 5

Children have different personalities so a punishment that is effective for one child may not work well on another. I would say experiment with different types to determine which works best for you. I have found taking away privileges to be the most effective. I think spankings should be reserved for the most severe of offenses.  

Answer 6

I use a variety of disciplining. If my children have done something that will cause them harm or someone else then I spank them. If it is just a situation to were they are just not minding me then I use other forms. Such as I told my son who is 12 one morning to take out the trash. we were going to be gone all day and it was already stinking. ( Dirty diaper stink) any way he sat on the couch and watched t.v. and never took it out after me telling him twice, So before we left I put the trash can in his bedroom and closed the door. When we got home his room stunk so bad that I have never had to tell him more than once again.  If I have to tell my children more than a couple of times to pick up their toys then I pick them up and they don't get them back for a while. It all depends on the ages of your child.  The form of discipline I use the most is called love and logic. It teaches them that there are consequences for there actions. Such as with older kids if you have to tell them over and over to gather up there dirty close and they still don't do it then you gather them up and don't let them have them back. Make them earn there clothes back one outfit at a time.  It works.

Answer 7

Positive reinforcement is supposed to mean that there is no need for punishment, but in the transition to this method of child training, there are things like time out that can help. Jo Frost (Supernanny) has a US website with lots of tips. check it out.

www.supernanny . com

Answer 8

I will either take away his tv, computer or video game privaleges. Very seldom do I have to spank him. I have no issue against spankings. It's just that my son doesn't often do anything that warrants a spanking.

I've never put him in time out. When he gets mad at me for discipling me, he goes to his room anyway. My son doesn't have very many rules that I set because he naturally does what I think most kids should do. He doesn't talk back. He makes good grades in school. He doesn't start fights. He cleans his room. Well, there are times when he doesn't clean his room but even that has somewhat been curbed because he knows that anything of his that I have to pick up, will be thrown away. After a while of him losing action figures, he gets the message and I don't have much problem with him cleaning up behind himself.

Also, it isn't illegal to spank a child in the U.S. It's illegal to abuse a child. Beating a child and spanking a child are two very different things. Spankings shouldn't leave bruises at all.

Answer 9

I take things away from my kids .Like no TV, Playstation,No friends over It works great.As far as hitting The only way you can do this and not get in trouble is with an open hand on the bottom or thigh and no more than three hits or it is considered abuse.

Answer 10

Gosh, kids are tricky little buggers, what works one time may not work the next.

I have one son who is very easily disciplined and doesn't misbehave much, and readily corrects his behavior and apologizes. While my other son is a constant challenge, we do time outs, grounding, lots of extra chores,we'd removed TV and video games etc. And while all of these things work temporarily, this kiddo keeps finding new trouble to get into, so I really find that constant checking up and keeping him very busy is the only true way to keep misbehavior to a minimum.

Alot of times these more challenging kids are just too bored and need more to do, and as a parent it is our duty to provide more structure for them.

I'm not a fan of hitting, a slap on the behind when they are younger is fine because they do not understand other methods, and that quick shock gets the point across, but never hitting out of anger or frustration. It breaks down the child's trust and confidence in their parents and sabotages the whole family relationship.

However a snotty pre-teen or teen most definitely can and should receive a swift slap across the face for outright backtalk and disrespect, or name calling at a parent, that behavior must never be allowed to slide even one time or you will lose your authority with that child.

So different methods for different ages and personality types, and never hitting in an angry out of control way.

The only physical discipline I would condone would be one slap to the hand or behind for younger kids age 2-4 and a slap to the mouth for age 8+ for true verbal disrespectful language and tone. But never repeated hitting or hitting as punishment, but as a warning or "snap out of it" effect .

Answer 11

We have two children and only one is at the age where he can understand discipline. Our son is two years old and our daughter is 13 weeks old. There are times when I have to choose my battles and let certain things go, which can be hard to learn to do!

For our son we do set and enforce rules and boundaries for him and those will be the same rules and boundaries that we enforce with our daughter. Of course his limits will change the older he gets but we have a basic set of house rules that we have posted in our family room. Next to each rule is the consequence for breaking that rule so there is no shadow of a doubt of what will happen when that rule is broken. We have ten house rules as follows:

1- Listen to Mommy and Daddy

2-Toys will not be thrown

3-No hitting or biting

4-No back talking/disrespect

5-No Whining

6-Treat others the way you want to be treated

7-Do not throw tantrums

8-There will be no cussing

9-Do not jump on the furniture (safety reasons)

10-Share and play nicely

The consequences vary depending on what rule is broken.  We believe the "punishment should fit the crime" and it always does.  We use everything from redirection, spanking, time out, to "natural" consequences (you don't finish supper, you don't get dessert).  We praise good behavior with a "good job" or "thank you for listening so well".  So far, so good.

Those are our basic set of house rules. Older children will get more freedoms and privileges because they can better understand the responsibility of those freedoms. Younger children still need many boundaries. My father described it to me by holding his hand out and closing it into a loose fist say that the fist represents how at first we as children were not allow much freedom but as he spread his hand open he relates that as us growing older and wiser therefore more trustable with more freedoms and responsibilities until one day we grown and responsibility is all our own. It's a neat analogy that I wish I had an illustration for (my dad explains it better!). Anyhow that's my two cents!

Answer 12

teach them value of money and time

Answer 13

Wooden spoons work great...............

Answer 14

Moms hairbrush keeps me out of trouble. I would never consider calling CPS.

Answer 15

Yes, a child can totally call the police/CPS if their parent hits them.  Does it pan out all the time?  I don't know.  Lately, it has because CPS is overloaded taking every call very seriously.  This is because there are cases where CPS saw severe abuse and did nothing and got into trouble.  However.  I know kids who grew up getting spanked and didn't even know that option of calling even existed.  Quite often, it's the really sheltered kids raised by conservative Christians who get corporal punishment and respect their parents too much to call on them.  I don't think all spanking is abuse but I personally don't spank.  

If you're going to spank here are some guidelines that aren't abuse:

a) Don't use an object, use your hand.

b) Put the kid in time-out first (one minute for each year of their age) THEN spank if you think it's necessary

c) Have specific reasons to spank and then ONLY spank for those reasons: i) Damaging Property:  PURPOSELY damaging property beyond repair ii) Hurting themselves:  Putting themselves in danger when they know better (your seven-year-old walks out the door after you said 'wait until I'm out of the potty') iii) Hurting soemone else:  putting someone else in danger (your nine-year-old smacks his baby sister).  

d) Only thwak them on the butt (it tends to be a fatty area) and not even hard - just enough to knock their overblown egos down a few notches.

Basically, the best ways to prevent that in general is

a) to pay attention in the first place.  If you know Sissy will ignore your no-TV-past-8 p.m. rule if you're on the phone with your friend, GET OFF THE PHONE, go into the room, and turn off the TV.  Yes, you'll have to stop what you're doing, but it's your job to do that anyway. In other words: you know when they misbehave, don't give them the opportunity.  People do what they shouldn't when no one is bothering to pay attention.  Stop it before it gets bad.  If Sissy is in time-out and doesn't stay, that means you'll have to sit there/stand there while she's in time-out.  It doesn't matter where you are or what your'e doing, establish a time-out space in each place you are in.  It can be a bench in the park, it can be a table in a restaurant, it can be up against the wall in the kitchen.  If kids act up, it's because the adult in charge either wasn't watching them or watched them do it.  The child ALWAYS takes priority.

b) Have a regular schedule, kids get bored easily.  If they're school-age and in school, they are in school from time x to time y.  They have time on the bus.  If they get in trouble in school/bus, they were disrespectful of others or authority.  punish them at home by removing TV time/computer time  If they only get 1/2 hour a day of those and they lose it, it'll make an impact.  Between school, meal-times, TV times, activity times and sleep time, the free time shouldn't be large chunks of time on TV/Computer anyway - find things for them to do.  if they have lots of time (not in school or it's a day off for all of you), have designated 'pick up' times.  Even if they're five-minute chunks in each room throughout the day, you'll keep them busy and you'll be RIGHT THERE.

c) Time-outs are great.  Honestly?  I like them better when the kids can watch everyone interact without them because i) they're still being supervised because someone is right there ii) everyone'll see that they're being put aside because they didn't conform and iii) they'll miss out and watch everyone have fun without them.  Sometimes minor humiliation does the trick.

Answer 16

We do the naughty chair ( hard little chair in the corner, facing the wall), and even that is hard to control. It's a long hard battle

Answer 17

I know the reason that there are so many delinquents walking the streets is because the government has taken away a parent's right to discipline. Every once in a while a kid needs a whopping- they are so darn disrespectful and do what ever they please. There is a huge difference between shoving your kid down a flight of stairs (Child Abuse) than spanking. Our grandparents and parents came from homes where you were allowed to spank. I don't see any of them scarred for life.

Answer 18

With my toddler, I spank.  I use my voice.  I take toys away.  It's not against the law to give a *thwap* on the bottom, unless it's so hard it's leaving marks.

My oldest is 7.  He's a good kid, but when he does misbehave, I make him write sentences, then tell me how he could've handled the situation better.

Answer 19

Positive reinforcement. Give him choices and consequences. Give limitations.

If you put a child for a time out...what do you think he'll learn? He will just learn to sit down in his corner...and when his time is over...he's out again..and probably will do what he does before.

Child does not learn in punishment nor time out. You have to make the child understand others point of view, feelings, and the consequences.

Tell him what he did, how does this affect you or the second person, and give reason.

Instead of saying "don't hit", say "hitting hurts" instead. Tell him how you feel..."I am not happy when you hit becuase it hurt." If he throw things, tell him, "We can throw balls, outdoors. If you throw your toys, things, etc. You may hurt somebody or yourself, you may break it, and I will be so upset if that happens."

Tell the child his wrong actions, how this affect you, explain why (give reasons and give him choices, or consequences.

Example, Child doesn't stop breaking the tower that his friend just built. Tell the child, "If you want to play with your friend, you have to help him build the tower or you may go to and play with your cars." The choices has to be both accepted to you.

Give him limits, 3 Major Rule...1st can't hurt yourself, can't hurt others, and can't hurt (destroy) properties...or else (the consequence).

If you have anything in particular behaviour problem you need to know just ask again...okay?

Goddluck in your parenting.

Answer 20

I don't know where you live but here in the us you can discipline your child however you please. we use timeout and taking away toys but we also use spankings. we never hit our daughter with  objects and we only spank her on her behind or on her hand. as kids get older grounding them and taking away privileges.

Answer 21

I suppose you and your children aren't american and don't know the law over here.. Ok. Well never hit your children on their body except their butt with your hand.. not bare *** either

and timeout works

Answer 22

I would just try not talking to them. More like ignoring them. By doing this, they would be on their own, making their own decisions. At some time, the kids will probably go back to you because they don't know what to do with certain things like: cooking, laundry, etc. Good luck.

Answer 23

you dont, duh!

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