Disciplining my children?

Question

i have a 3 year old and 16month old and they just dont seem to takin to the word no. they dont stay in timeout and i find myself screaming at them and i dont like this i feel a bad mother. any ways to discipline age appropriately without being "a bad momma" as my 3 year old calls me

Answer 1

You give them taps on the butt until they get the message. Timeouts don't work, so don't even bother with those. You want results, you go for the bottoms. Start now, before they really get out of hand.

Answer 2

Your kids are going to lash out, especially at age 3 and younger to any form of no.   This is the age were the foundation for respect is set.   If they get out of timeout, put them back in timeout.  The main thing you need to realize for timeouts is that they only work when done correctly.  And in order to do it correctly you need to remain calm and emotionless, otherwise you are giving them the attention (even if it's negative attention) that they are looking for.  You are letting them manipulate you and that gives them the power.   Set an egg timer.  Give them a timeout spot that's quite where you can still keep an eye on them.   Set the timer for 3 minutes for your son and tell him that he is not allowed to get up until the buzzer goes off and that you will not start the timer until he is quite and still in timeout.  Then follow through with it.  

As far as them calling you a "bad momma" or calling you mean, or saying they hate you, ignore it.   When everything has calmed down, if they have said something truly horribly such as "I hate you" then calmly explain to them that saying things like that is not nice, that it is worse than they realize it is, and that it really hurts your feelings but it isn't going to change the fact that you will discipline them.  

Make sure you remain consistent.  Don't punish them for something one day then let that same thing slide the next day.  Just keep at it and remember that it is normal for them to "rebel" at the toddler stages.  They are testing their limits which is why it is really important that you remain calm and firm.  If you feel like you are getting too frustrated, send them to their rooms and take a quiet break for a couple minutes for yourself.   Drink some tea of something.  Then go back and talk to your kids, especially the 3 year old.  

With the 16 month old, the best way to get him/her to stop doing something you don't like is with distraction.  If they are climbing on something, try offering them blocks to play with instead.  If they are having a tantrum, try helping them calm down without giving in, by holding them.  Tell them you know they are mad at you but they still can't do whatever they are having the tantrum about.

Answer 3

Everyone finds their own ways of dealing. I smack my 2 and a half year old if she does something dangerous or I ignore her if she is driving me crazy with whining and sometimes just put her in her bedroom and shut the door and she can come out when she calms down. Some people would probably say I am harsh but she really drives me nuts and it is the only way I can get her to stop doing something, I still love her and she still loves me.

Answer 4

they do what they do because it works for them.

stop reacting - if they're screaming and howling, so what?  honestly, who's it hurting (except maybe the dogs next door)?  let them howl and yowl and wail and sob and gnash their teeth and say mean things.  yawn and pour yourself a cup of tea.  when they see it's not working any more, they'll be more willing to cooperate.

btw:  i have three kids (22yrs, 19yrs, and 16mo) and time-out never worked worth a d**n.

Answer 5

Spank them lightly. You can't really negotiate or reason with toddlers and sometimes gentle spankings or taking toys away works.

Answer 6

bring them back to timeout - this will eventually work you just cant give up

im not against slapping children however it is a last resort when there are so many other ways

Answer 7

To be honest, I don't think children learn unless they're caused some sort of pain, physically or emotionally.

I'm not saying you should beat them, but a smacking them will make them learn that unwanted actions will have a consequence, and that consequence is pain.

You should have different forms of punishment, one's for major and minor actions they perform. Minor actions could be punished by being locked in their room until they apologize, or taking away toys. Major actions can be physical pain.

Again, you do not have to beat your child, just a small smack to make their face sting should be good enough. The reason they decide to act up is because nobody has established a leadership in the household, so they attempt to take that position.

They think that since they get out of everything without a consequence that they can lead you instead of you leading them. Show them that you're dominant, and they should act better.

Answer 8

I came up in a different time and place where nothing spoke as loud as a good @ss-smacking.  Dont beat them to death, just a good swat when they are disobedient will do the trick.

And if your 3 year-old's use of "bad momma" gets to you, you really need to get used to that.  As they get older, they will do whatever they need to to get you to cave to their wishes.

Be firm and good luck!

Answer 9

actually a combo of the first 2 answers is a good answer for u. Many will say that spanking a child is wrong but it is not! Especially the ages you have in your home do not however spank them when you are angry with them and be persistent on time outs. It's tiring the first few times but in the long run it will benefit you both! Good luck hon...the key to good productive children is both love and discipline!

Answer 10

Give them a spank on the butt and tell them why you did it i.e., "You can hurt yourself doing that" "If you run away in a store a bad person can take you away from mommy" "I said no you can not have that right now,and throwing a fit is not going to make you get it" Your 3 yr old is old enough to almost fully understand what you are telling them...and the 16 month old will get it if explained appropriately to them...such as "The stove's HOT,it'll give you an owie" etc...

Best of Luck