Disestablishing paternity?

Question

I guess my situation is a little more uncommon. 9 years ago I left my husband and had a brief fling with someone else. My x and I decided to try to reconcile. We werent sure that he was the father, but he made the decision to sign the birth certificate, and has never wanted to contest paternity. The problem is, the guy I had the fling with is positive that my child is his, and has threatened legal action to prove he's the father and get visitation rights. Is there any way he can actually accomplish this?

Answer 1

Were you and your husband, officially divorced?  

  According to Virginia law, the husband of the mother is presumed

to be the legal father of her child. If the mother is married or was

married up to 10 months prior to the birth of the child to someone

other than the biological father of the child, paternity must be

established in court. Paternity may not be established by voluntarily

signing an AOP form.

   Paternity establishment and visitation rights are two separate

issues. When the mother agrees, the father may visit the child.

Once paternity is established, the father may seek visitation rights

through the court if the mother is unwilling to allow him to visit.

   Paternity establishment and custody are two separate issues. The

father may ask the court to review the custody arrangements at any

time after paternity is established. Courts do not change custody

unless there is proof that it is in the best interest of the child. The

courts may also consider joint or shared custody.

   I just kinda went through this with my husband.  He thought he had an 8 year old daughter and then found out by some off chance via DNA testing that he was not the father and because he signed the acknowledgment of Paternity 8 years ago the court will not reverse the order, even though the mother never told him there was another possible father because it is not in the best interest of the child to introduce a new father and take away the one they have known all of their life.

Answer 2

It will be hard for him but he can try, I wouldnt worry about it and get a restraining order, because you never know what people can or will do.

He has no legal standing to force a paternity test on you though. You were never married to him, you are married to another man and this man is on the birth certificate.

Unless he's rich you should be good but remember restraining order, you don't want your child possibly kidnapped and it does happen in these situations.

Where do you live btw like the state, I know many states on the East Coast if you are married and the father signed the b-certificate it can not be questioned unless the father on the certificate wants it to be, its a done deal.

Also there are " abandonment" laws, if he hasn't been in the childs life ever or supported him in any way, he has no rights at all I think the limit is 3 years before they consider this legally.

EDIT:

NICE, thats where I lived with my custody and child paternity problems!!! Now, he can go to the court and "try" to do this but in VA he has nothing, he has abandoned the child and your husband is on the birth certificate unless he has about 8-10K to drop down on a lawyer (he would still lose as far as custody and then have to pay you back child support for all those years)  you don't have any worries DCSE will not take this case for free because of the birth certificate alone.

Answer 3

personally i think you have two choices - 1. tell him he can pay for a dna test if he wants one, 2. letting as few people as possible know, start looking for a home and a job in another part of the country, if he doesn't know where you are then there isn't a whole lot you can do.



personally i think you should get the dna test done, as its you who did the cheating, so you were in the wrong, its not fair to deny this man his child, you wouldn't like it if someone took your child from you, what makes you think you can do the same to someone else?

Answer 4

Hmmm . . . this is definitely a tricky situation.  When a woman is married, her husband is "assumed" to be the father.  I think the other guy can try to have a paternity test, but I would fight him on it.  Ask for a guardian ad litem who will look for the best interest of the child.  When speaking with the GAL or the judge, bring up the fact that the child has a father (your husband) who loves him/her and has been there for the child since day one.  Point out to this other guy that if he is determined to be the father, he may get visitation rights, but he will also be responsible for child support until the child turns 18.  He can't have it both ways . . . letting your husband foot the bills, but still getting the nod as "father" and visitation rights.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 5

Unfortunately he probably can. Tell him to go ahead and try and if he is the father, you are going to file for child support.  Unless your child knows other wise, then your husband is the father.  Tell him he can also pay for the counseling that the child will need when her/his world is turned upside down.

Answer 6

In Michigan where I live - what the fling would have to do is start a child support case against himself and when they ask if paternity has been established he would say no and the state would then demand a paternity test to establish the actual father. However, if the baby was born within the confines of your marriage to your husband - whether he is the actual father or not the baby is legally his. If the fling turned out to be the father then he would have to file court papers to establish paternity and basically what amounts to adopting his own child.

The bottomline is that if he believes he is the father then all he has to do is get a lawyer and begin court proceedings to determine the truth. You wont have a choice but to go along with whatever the court tells you to do.

A perfect example of this in the media is the Anna Nicole Smith case involving her daughter Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern!!

If he is the father than he has every right to be a part of the childs life!!!

It might not be what you want to hear but it is the truth!