Dislipline or abuse????

Question

I just saw on Yahoo that an Iowa woman was ticketed for spanking her kid.. I saw the clip.. she said she spanked the uncontrollable kid on her diaper... was she disciplining her kid or abusing it.????

My Step son is a brat.. he misbehaves most of the time.. he is never punished by his parents (who are divorced) all they say him to is you will face the consequences and he is sent to his room or his TV cut for few hours.. when I say why don't you spank him when he misbehaves they say this is not american way.. if we spank him he wl be psuchologically effected .. this and that...

In India where I grow up spanking when the child misbehave is taken granted as we think this is just another way to teach kids what is wrong and right.. My God I was spanked as I was a very naughty kid.. and I am not a nut case...

Now I hv 12 month old baby boy.. in what way should I raise him.. the way I did or the so called American way??? I am confused...

pls give me your point of views.. Thanks

Answer 1

Very interesting question. I think that if the kid is old enough to be reasoned with that he shouldn't be spanked.

I personally believe that it's ok for children to be hit. Not hard at all, but just to make them think. After all the bible says that parents should "use the rod of discipline." It also says not to "exasperate" your children.

American children can be very very spoiled. I think that the trick is to get them to realize that its NOT okay to misbehave and if they do that that there WILL be consequences whether its spanking, time out, or what have you.

Obviously this kid doesn't take his parents seriously at all. He thinks he can walk all over them and he can. Not a comfortable situation.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't think this is the American way. In fact, back in the day, schools even gave kids swats... I graduated high school in Houston, TX in 2000 and my school still had Corporal punishment!  I was spanked and I turned out just fine. In fact, it's usually the kids that don't get spanked that are the worst brats! I swat my son on the diaper all the time... He gets the message, it's NOT abuse!  I'm so tired of all these kids running around doing whatever they want! They think that theirs no consequences for their  actions because they don't get any discipline at home! As long as it's not done in anger, I say spank away! Just don't let it turn into excessive abuse!

Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 3

it is fine to spank,  and it was THE American way until all these weak "want to be their friend" types started raising kids, then it all started going downhill, kids were much more well behaved over all when they knew mom and dad werent afraid to crack the belt on their butt, or give them a smack.I spank my kids, I did with my daughter, and when my son is old enough i will spank him as well, and if they want to ticket me, they can, but i wont raise a spoiled back talking brat. I was spanked growing up and it didnt adversely effect me, i turned out pretty well i think. plus, in most states spanking is still perfectly legal, including this one. you have the right to discipline your child  in any way you see fit as long as you dont leave marks for bruises up until age 18 in most states.

Answer 4

I think that the Godly way of raising a child is to spank them

"Spare the rod spoil the child"~ God

So i don't believe that she sould have been ticketed unless it left a bruise!

Answer 5

I was never spanked, not once. It was not because my parents were "weak" and it did not result in my turning into a spoiled brat, quite the contrary, I am extremely well behaved.

The problem is not that kids are not spanked, the problem is that there are no real consequences for their actions, and that no one ever takes the time to explain why what they did is wrong.

There are infinite ways to raise wonderful children without spanking, and you can feel free to e-mail me or read my other answers if you need ideas.

As for how you should raise your boy, that is up to you, and depends entirely upon the kind or relationship you want with him. I am not going to tell you how to do things, though I'd be happy to offer advice. I'm sure you love your boy and will raise him with love, respect and trust, and he will grow up to be a happy and well behaved young man.

Answer 6

spanking is not abuse just be glad you aren't in a black fam like me we had to pick our own switches ...and that's not even half of what abuse is . abuse is when your a little kid and your parent/guardian beats on you like you were 16 years old and able to take it.so yeah spank your child  until they are big enough to get a BEAT DOWN! at around the age of 12 or 13

Answer 7

No I don't think that would be abuse, it's a spanking. Having said that, I don't spank. I have 4 well behaved kids. Spanking is only one option and is a parental choice, not  a necessity in order to have well behaved children. It sounds to me as if your step son's parents aren't consistent or maybe they don't always follow through, maybe there is something else lacking in their parenting. It's not always about the punishing....some kids act out because they don't get enough attention in general. I don't know why people always think it's because of lack of spanking that a kid is acting out. It's probably lack of any consistent discipline or lack of good parenting in general. maybe there isn't good communication, I mean it could be tons of things. Spanking is not some miracle thing that will suddenly turn a brat into a good kid. it takes good parenting to do that.

Arial...you should do some research...the majority of todays parents do spank. I don't know why so many people are under the impression that less people spank now than in the past. Over 90% of todays parents admit to spanking their kids. It's this kind of ignorance that gets to me because you are ignorant to think spanking=well behaved kids and non spanking =bad kids. You obviously don't know much about parenting because there is a heck of a lot more to parenting than whether you choose to spank or not.

Answer 8

Unless it was long and sustained it certainly does not seem like abuse--but I would have to see it.  Actually spanking over a diaper is kind of a waste time. To  make it an impression you have to overdo it== as this mother may have done. One or two swats on their undiapered  butt is more effective and safer.

Like you, and I believe a lot of younger parents, I also believe in spanking.  Unfortunately doing it in public can cause problems these days--the officious intermeddller--or even the police.

Answer 9

My momma spanked me. & she still does to this day. Im 13 years old! She did it to teach me a lesson. She never beat me. NEVER! & ive decided im going to raise my children the same way i was raised. But its not our decision, its yours. Have a long discussion with your husband.

Hope i help :]

Answer 10

I would have to see the video in reference. If it is a few swats on the butt, it is discipline, absolute wailing on the child is abuse. Nothing sickens me more than the stories you read or hear about on the news - kids getting beaten to death or near death from obviously unresponsible, or worthless parents. Give me 10 minutes and a baseball bat alone with them (the parents!) I'll give them a lesson in parenting!! Back on topic though. My son is very near 2, currently I do not think a spanking would serve a purpose, as he is just developing his right from wrong reasoning skills. A stern voice and a time out is sufficient to guide him on the right path currently. As he develops, should he choose not to use his reasoning skills - he will find a swat on his butt as his reward for choosing the wrong path in more serious situations.

EDIT* Hags are all the same. I see you have to be female to have your answer taken seriously in this forum. My answer is twice as good as the majority of the ones here, and I get the thumbs down. Dad's are good parents too you know, probably much better than the lot of you.

Answer 11

well, if she was in a diaper then she is obviously too young to be spanked. discipline  your child as you wish, but whatever way you decide, your husband would have to agree with you, because if mommy spanks and daddy doesnt, your son will think that dad is easier and he can get away with things. so your husband and yourself need to decide what is best for yall

Answer 12

I think it is fine to spank as long as you are not doing it excessively or to the point of bruising. It's just to smack a little sense into the child for immediate results - not to harm them.

I don't think that anyone should be ticketed for spanking their child unless they left a bruise as someone else said - this is just the American way of allowing spoiled rotten kids is what it is.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Answer 13

I was spanked as a child, and it was very effective as a last resort punishment. I'll most likely spank my children as well. My smallest sister wasn't spanked at all while she was growing up and honestly I think she is the most misbehaved of my parent's children. I was spanked the most, and friends and relatives of the family say I am the most well behaved.

Answer 14

Chances are that if she was ticketed she was being too harsh, but you never know.  Some anti-spanking advocate probably saw her disciplining her child and felt the need to call the police.  I personally think spanking is left up to the parents and that the government and police need to stay out of it.  

I can see where you are coming from though.  I was spanked at times for certain things as a child and I am not mentally scarred, violent, depressed or a psycho maniac.  The choice to spank is yours to make if that is what you are comfortable with and confident in doing.  If it is something you decide to try or do, keep this in mind: Never spank while you are angry or out of control.  Only when you can maintain self control.  Yes it is possible to only spank your child when you are calm and level headed.  As for your step son, sit down with your husband and discuss appropriate disciplinary methods for him that you can both agree on and set up some house rules and consequences to follow them.  Best wishes!

Answer 15

There are Guidelines on what dicipline action you can use on your child according to their Age Google it