Disobedient 5 year-old?

Question

I'm a college student that is pretty much a live-in nanny for a single dad working 12-14 hour shifts during the summers. I've been with the same kids for a few years now, and recently, the 5 year-old girl has become extremely defiant and disobediant, especially at nap time. If I tell her to do something, no matter what it is or how I ask/tell her to do it, she'll either sit in the floor, run off, or stare me in the face and say no. Nap time and bedtime has become unbearable because she refuses to listen. She wakes her brother up, whether I make her take a nap or not, and I'll often find she's snuck out of her room to play in her brother's. I'll put her back in hers, cuz when i ask, she screams or sits down and pouts. If i tell or ask her to lay down, she will get up and jump on the bed, scream at me, and the last time, I layed her down and she kicked me in the face, busting my lip. I have been given permission to spank her, but that isn't working, either. What should I do?

Answer 1

You have to get very firm with her. Don't let her get away with anything for a while- be right on her. It won't take long and she will straigten up. Keep on her all the time. Use time outs for bad behavior and ignor tantrums and insist she do what you tell her to do every time.

I do agree with others on here who say no naps at this age. Most kids this age do not nap.

Answer 2

Just slap yo son up the ***

Answer 3

talk to her parents

Answer 4

You MUST be calm with her as a contrast and show strength, patience and love. Just like with adults, if you have these qualities you'll prevail.

Answer 5

Remove all synthetic, junk food, processed, refined, pasturized foods.

The youtube video there will show you the proof of a family that switched to an organic lifestyle. "Jamie Oliver's School Dinners", he was voted best individual the year it came out, UK.

Answer 6

5year olds dont have nap times poor kid

Answer 7

There is a reason spankings aren't illegal. It's to teach discipline. She sounds in desperate need of it too.

Answer 8

You should Spank her and then tell her you can do this or if u do this i am gonna call her day find out who she is scared of and then use it black mail her its fun and gets her to behave

Answer 9

I think that 5 years old is a bit old to be needing a nap.  Perhaps that's why she is retaliating so much.  I wonder if her Dad has said that she MUST have a nap and given you the instruction to make her do it.

When kids first grow out of naps they tend to go to bed earlier and get a bit grumpy near the end of the day.

I bet she would respond to a bit of one-to-one drawing or playing a game with you. If she screams or shouts at you say 'If you shout at me like that you won't be able to play snakes and ladders with me later" for example.  

I know kids can try anyone's patience at times but bear in mind they will copy you, if you shout they will shout back.  Try and praise her for anything she does good so it doesn't get into a negative cycle.

I've done live-in nannying before and its really hard work.  Good luck!

Answer 10

My daughter hasn't napped since she was 2. As another person suggested, have quiet time. Don't just spring it on her either. That morning tell her about this new thing you are going to do today. An hour before give her a little heads up and make it sound like fun. "We all need some time to oursevles to rest quietly. Do you know what you would like to do alone in your room? Dolls, books, coloring, etc" It wll begin to sound more like another activity to her rather than something she "has" to do. Also reinforce good behavior. Assure her if she can stay quiet long enough for the other children to nap, that you all can do something really fun (possibly really active and noisy) when everyone wakes up. Even just a 15 minute game of tag could motivate her to take the half hour or so alone in her room with grace. Be warned though, give her time to get used to this. The first few dozen times she is likely to come to you and ask if it's almost over or if it's almost time "game/play" time yet. After she learns about what the amount of time will be it should get easier. You could also buy a timer and let her know when that timer goes off it's active play time again and she can leave her room. Hope something helps for ya. Just remember to be patient. Tantrums are just as traumatic for her as they are for you.

Answer 11

She is 5!! 5 year olds do not take naps unless they fall asleep on there own, instead of naps try quiet time in her room for 1 hour, tell her to read play with dolls whatever she wants.. I have a 6 year old and naps have been non existent since like 3..

Answer 12

that's not disobedient, that's typical for a 5 y/o... I bet you were the same way... try and offer rewards for taking naps, such as ice cream, or coloring, or something the child really likes

Answer 13

Spanking will only intensify her negative behavior.

She needs some assertive consequences.

Ignore her tantrums and when she calms down, explain that she will lose a special toy if she does that again. After she see's that throwing a tantrum equals a doll or game in the trash can, she will begin to improve. You really will ave to throw it away....forever....that's the deal. If you give in she will only get worse.....don't feel sorry as she cries when her toys are in the trash....she will get over it....spankings only hurt for a fw minutes....the pain of losing a special toy lasts much longer..

Good Luck

Answer 14

i have a 5 year old sister going on 6.

and a baby brother who turned 1.

but the thing is is that my little sister doesn't take naps.

we used to try but she never stayed in her room.

but during the night she was crazy...

so we did punish her but nothing worked.

so now she just doesn't take naps.

i think 5 seems a bit to old for naptimes.

but i hope this helps some way. [[: good luck.

Answer 15

Well, be patient and firm. If she is defiant again, just repeat your request, but change it to an order instead. For example:

"Alright Tani, in your bed please, can you take a nap?"

"NO!"(screams)

"Get in your bed Tani, you need to take a nap."

"NO!" (screams again) (You pick her up and put her in your bed even though she is screaming and kicking and being very naughty.

"NO! NO! NO!" (screams and kicks)

"Now listen, Tani! You need to take your nap and you have to take it now!" (Exit the room and shut the door. If she comes out, carry her back into her bed, saying NOTHING and shut the door and come back out. If she comes out again, put her back in her bed and leave again without a sound from your mouth. You'll need to keep repeating this until she gives up.

Eventually, she'll come to realize that she' s got to take a nap and she'll hang out in her room but won't go to sleep. In that case, instead of leaving the room, sit in a chair next to her bed. I know it  is sometimes very hard, but you have to be firm.

Oh, and if she kicks you again, put her in the corner, explain why that was wrong and repeat the bed-time experience with the corner. Spanking really doesn't work normally.

Oh, and don't forget to give her rewards when she does listen. Take her out for ice-cream maybe, or play games or draw or read a book to her... that way she'll not think you're some meany who hates her...

If you've got anymore questions, or if this doesn't work, feel free to email me.