Disrespectful Children?

Question

How do I discipline my children when they are very disrespectful to me and do not listen and mind me, because of the negative comments that come from their dad and his mother? I have taken alot of their things they like to play but it doesn't help, what do I do?

Answer 1

Spanking, it works, I'm telling you.

Answer 2

Taking things away from them will not earn their respect.  

I would sit down & talk to them, on their developmental level, about how their words & actions make you feel, ask for an apology where needed, ask them to rephrase their end of the conversation when it's rude, to something more polite.  Ask them to explain why they feel that the disrespectful behavior is appropriate or correct in your relationship.  

Behave like a person who deserves their respect - be confident, calm & loving.  Moreover, treat them with respect, to model that behavior for them ("this is how people treat each other") and to have a basis to build your own lessons on when you are teaching them about respect.  

Blaming their father & grandmother for their behavior is a cop out.  Sure, they may be encouraged & allowed to disrespect you when with dad & grandma.  But, that does not mean that it is allowed or accepted when they are with you.  They are responsible for their own behavior.  You & they are responsible for how you build your relationships with each other.  

Answer 3

SPANK THEM.  ALSO YOU NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH THE DAD AND HIS MOTHER ABOUT TEACHING THEM THAT IT'S OK TO DISRESPECT YOU.  

Answer 4

what i do..

if my son touches something when i tell him no.. slap his hand..

if he smacks me.. i smack his butt..

if he headbutts me.. he gets one back.. gently of course..

if they arent listening to you.. put them on a time out.. if they are younger.. get a play yard and sit their butts in there and let them cry.. dont be a push over cause thats when children push their limits!

Answer 5

Super Nanny Jo Frost,  to the rescue!! please read some tips!!

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I would take things that mean some thing to them, and they have to 'earn back' by being respectful to you.

also ADULTS need to stop putting each other down in front of the children, (Swearing incl) they need MODELS ~

just remember monkey see, monkey do !! if they don't see bad behavior they won't mis behave themselves!!

best of luck!!

Answer 6

What state do you live in.  A lot of states have an "alienation of affection" laws...they are strongly clamping down on the parent that interferes with the child's relationship with their other biological parent. You should REALLY look into that...because that is just wrong.  The parent participating in the alienation of the other parent is often times punished by a lessened custody schedule (until it's resolved) and court ordered family counseling.

I absolutely agree with the answer post above mine.  Absolutely.  Very good answer regarding the respect and making things just unacceptable.  Focusing on showing them respect and demanding it in return.  I'm afraid if you clamp down on punishments for the children left and right then, in their minds, it will only reinforce the negative things your ex is saying.  So I'm not sure a lot of discipline is the answer...but I also absolutely know that a lack of discipline isn't either!  

What a problem!  If I were you...I'd get myself and my children into a family couselor's office as soon as possible so the counselor can help de-program them!!  

I hate this question...it's just unfair that people use children to exact revenge.  I hate it.  And I'm sorry you're having to deal with it!! :(

Answer 7

First, their father and his mother should not be saying negative things about you in front of the kids.  That is a problem you need to address to him before you can expect your kids to stop.  Regardless of the punishment that you give, (time outs, taking toys away, spanking or whatever), they are going to continue to do it because their father is teaching them that it is OK.

Answer 8

I'm sorry if this offends anyone, and i just answered an abuse question, but if that was my child, I'd whoop the s**t outta that kid. I know that sound mean but I work in a dental office and I have seen moms drag their kids in kicking and screaming. Not to mention punching their mothers. And one mom was pregnant! Respect has to be instilled at a young age. Or else the disrespect gets way worse as time goes on. I can count on maybe one hand the amount of times I have had to whoop my kid. Do it a few time and you wont have to do it anymore.

Answer 9

I'm only 13 so i may now know a lot of this but from my experience don't yell scream , take away, stuff or spank.  Truthfully I've heard kids wanting to rip their parents up because they yell and such for no reason.  My mother has a problem where if she says something and i say why i get this big yelling complaint about me being disrespectful and how it doesn't matter why. In my opinion that does not improve my respect to her at all in the slightest.  Sit down and talk nicely and if they continue to be rude and such then go to more extreme measures.  A lot of times i have to admit when i was younger my mom put me on time out and i spent the whole time getting more and more mad at her ;p of course this was wrong but to some this is natural. good luck.  Also taking away toys will get them even more mad most likely and they will do what they did again just to make you mad.  Some of this may not be for your kids but good luck