Disrespectful step kids! What should I do?

Question

My husband has 3 daughters from a previous marriage. We have been together for 8 1/2 years so it's not like we were married yesterday. The girls were pretty young when we first started dating. When I first met them they were such nice kids and really liked me. Then there mother started trippin and decided she (all of a sudden) hates my husband and didn't want him to see him. She then moved the girls to Seattle (we live in Iowa) and we went about 2-3 years without seeing them. After countless attempts of working things out with her, we finally took her to court, which is a whole different drama but she ended up giving up and moving back to Iowa. All of her cousins in Seattle say that she has been telling the kids that we don't like them because we don't buy them things all the time (even though we pay child support) and when they came back they were so disrespectful and rude and they act like they don't even like their dad or me at all. It has been a year since they've been back and they still give me attitude all the time. They are so greedy and never want to come unless we are going out somewhere or spending money. This is really driving me crazy. What can I do about it? We are moving to Minnesota in a couple of weeks and I am about to give up.

Answer 1

YOU dont do anything

your not there mom.

tell your husband to figure it out

Answer 2

So now you are leaving the kids? You are doing exactly what the mother did and moving into a different state. I hope to god that your husband isn't just thinking he is going to "give up", he is their father whether they like him or not until they are 18 he has legal rights. You aren't being a very good step mother saying you are just going to give up either. If you decide to give up, give up and get a divorce.

Answer 3

please, grab the belt, and lay some kids down.

Answer 4

I'm probably not one to answer, but I mean - people change, and it kind of sounds like the kids have been brainwashed a bit. If they are p*****n/teenagers, of course they want to spend money. That's all (almost) any teenage girl wants to do. Maybe they don't think you respect them, so they are rude. If you don't talk to them regularly, and at home they're being told that you don't care about them, they will grow to believe it, and I know that I don't give as much respect to the people that I truly believe do not care about me. I think you should let them know that you do care. Like, send them letters and cards and maybe just little tiny gifts to show them that you care about them. Then again, maybe they just have bad attitudes. I'm from the Seattle area, and people are mean over here!

Answer 5

You and your husband just have to lay down the law.  You have to tell them that you are not going to get into a buying competition with their mother and that they will abide by your rules and will be respectful of you or their will be consequences!  Stay firm and consistent but it will take you and your husband forming a united front and sticking together when it comes to how to handle them.  Plus, depending on their ages, it may just be that annoying teenager phase where they know more than anyone else.  anyway, good luck!