Distractions?

Question

How can I keep my 4 year old daughter from distracting my 12 year old while he's doing his homeschool work, and from needing all my attention while I'm trying to be the teacher? Also, he is eisily distracted. If there are no distractions availiable, he will simply distract himself, by playing with something that's nearby, by tracing the number in front of the question, by asking me questions aboout things completely unrelated to his work, ect... but usually his sister is enough of a distraction (he has adhd). Also, those of you who homeschool more than one child of differing grade levels at the same time, and still give them each all the attention and help they need, and fit the school day into a reasonable time frame?

Answer 1

Make her go in the other room. Give her things to do that are away from her brother and explain to her that she can't bother him because he's doing his work.

When he asks you questions that aren't about his work tell him he can ask you later when his work is done. Explain to him that when it's school time it's school time--not play time, not tracing numbers time, not staring out the window time, etc. When we don't do our work our mom just gives us more work..I think that might work here.

I also think maybe you should break his school work up into sections. Do a couple of subjects and take a break. But, give him a time limit to get those subjects done and if his work isn't done in that time limit then no break.

Answer 2

Give your daughter her own activities that she can do at the table so she gets "school time" with you at the same time. Then she won't feel like she's being pushed aside and won't feel the need to do things to get your attention.

Dealing with ADHD means working with what the child is capable of and gradually working to improve it, however much it can be improved. This applies to staying focused. One idea I've read: Give him a timer and ask him how many minutes he thinks he can stay focused on his work. It must be an amount *he* thinks and not the amount he thinks you want him to say. Set the timer for that amount and have him stay focused for that time. Slowly build up the time.

People with ADHD can learn to pay attention. The difference is that they have to make a conscious effort to keep their attention focused whereas most people just do it naturally. Looking at books on underachievement or motivational issues will have some strategies that will also be helpful in helping a child with ADHD improve.

You can also just try working with the ADHD--keep the time expectations low, say no more than 30 minutes at a time. Take a break. Another 30 minutes. Take a break. Etc. Yes, it'll mean that the school work drags on all day, but trying to stay focused for no more than 30 minutes at a time can be a help to a child who's got in his mind that he has to stay focused all day.

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As for your last question: My kids don't need a lot of my attention. My son spends about 30-60 minutes of work with me each day then does his own thing (he's only 6). Same thing with my dd, but her things for the morning are educational choices: a project, typing, reading, art, etc.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are working with the school at home model.  

I've had 12 yos who have problems focusing.  First, by 12, they should be pretty self-motivated so that you only need to answer questions and provide direction.  Work toward that end if possible. Your 4 year old is the one in need of attention (I'm not saying that meanly either, just pointing out who needs attention more), so you will need to work in specific times that you can give your 12 yo undivided attention if necessary.  A good rest time in the late morning or early afternoon should cover that.  

When we were doing the school at home model (mostly for upper level, high school stuff) I made a schedule for the kids so that no one was working on subjects that would need my attention at the same time.  I would alternate the ones they could do all on their own, with math and science that they may need me for.  You might make a schedule for your 12 yo that takes into account time when you will need to be with the 4 yo or doing other things.  Put the subjects that he needs hand holding in time slots when the 4 yo might be otherwise occupied with a nap or favorite program or the like.  

We never bothered labeling ours who had attention problems.  They were just very bright, artistic, and always had better things to think about.  So, we instead instituted incentive programs that were very basic.

For example:

"If you want to play the Game Cube you have to ask first.  My first question will be have you finished all your schoolwork.  You want the right answer before you ask."

"If I see you reading a book, I will ask about your schoolwork.  If it isn't done, you will know what my response will be.  Do you really want to deal with that?"

"It will be a shame if supper rolls around, and you, being homeschooled, have had no free time to do what you really want to do with your day."  

All those statements helped them understand the concept of using their time wisely, so they could use their time as they wished.  It was a long road, but by the time they were graduates, the had learned about fighting off distraction.  

Hope something there helps you some.

Best to you and your kids!

Answer 4

Have her do homework. She is preschool age it would be helpful to you and her for you to start working with her. Make a big deal out of her starting school. Tell her that she is going to be doing school work. Buy some preschool books at Wal-Mart and make a big deal of her doing her school work at the same time as her older brother.

It is extremely hard to teach two at a time especially with one who has ADHD. I recommend learning as much as you can about ADHD. Offer your son rewards. When he meets certain goals he gets rewarded. They need to range from eassy to reach goals that he can reach in one day to goals that are harder to reach that could take a month, or all year to reach. Make a lot of goals and as he reaches them make sure that he gets the reward. As for your daughter plan to spend some time just with her during each and every day. That should helps some. If she knows that she gets mommy to herself at 1:00 pm then you can teach her on a clock that when it is 1:00 pm that she gets to decide what you play. Plan to play with her with no distractions for at least a 1/2 hour. This will let her know that she is important to you! Explain to her that it is her brother's turn to learn and that she will have your attention at whatever time you determine. There are lots of things that she can do on her own. Do you live near her grandparents? Plan for her to color a coloring page for them to display. Is daddy at work all day? Plan to have her straighten the shoes up by the door everyday. That is her big girl job!! Be inventive but most of all make sure you and her and her big brother are having fun!!