Divorce Advice... Catholic, but not married in the Church?

Question

My friend is Catholic, but his wife is not. So they were not married in the Church.

They have been married for 1.5 years and for 80% of that she has been verbally abusive, tried to push him away from God saying that Catholicism is a cult, and she was unfaithful to him.

He has tried for a full year to make this work, but he can't take it anymore. The question he keeps asking me (because I'm Catholic as well, but I don't honestly know) is: "If I wasn't married in the Church, then how does the Church feel about a divorce? Will I be able to remarry in the Church someday?"

Could you give me any advice on Divorce and Catholicism that you all have?

Thanks SO much!

Answer 1

Interesting that you are asking for him. How invested are you in this problem?

He needs to ask a priest. He can call a church anonymously.

It would be wise to stay out of this marriage and its problems.  He needs to work this out for himself.

Answer 2

I'm not Catholic, but most of my friends and many of my family are. Actually, I'm athiest. But I will tell you there is nothing wrong with Catholisizm (sp) or Catholics. Can't he ask his priest? I heard they were really good at giving advice.

Myself, I'm wouldn't be quick to divorce, I'm pretty tolerant. But if things are sour and cheating is occuring after only 1.5 years....Jeez. They should still practically be on their honeymoon still!!! How many years will he waste and is he worried about her or his happiness or his eternal soul? He didn't seem that worried about his soul when he jumped in, so why now?

I'd say divorce and talk to the priest about it. People sometimes re-marry each other. A lifetime is too long to suffer with someone who isn't living their life with you.

Answer 3

Any person of any denomination needs to file for divorce to legally end their mrriage but Catholics must file for a religious annulment through their church before they can get married again in the church. An annulment is a religious thing stating the marriage never happened in the first place. Hope this helps

Answer 4

that's strange cuz as a catholic growing up i was lead to believe that the first man you are 'with sexually' is your husband/spouse in the eyes of God and yet my parents would change the rules to suit their ever changing needs for the moment.   every religion does that.  so do civil entities, educational entities.   you go ahead and do whatever feels right for you...whatever helps you bond better together.  ok?  good.  

Answer 5

no, he won't because when he goes to apply for a church wedding he needs to give proof of any prior unions and divorces if he was married before even if it was not in a church.  Even though it was not in a church he is still breaking his vows (in sickness and in health, for better and for worse till death do you part) it does not matter where they were said.  What I'm wondering is if his wife is so against his religion why did he marry her? Did this happen afterwards or was she always like that?

Answer 6

this is such happy horse p**p.......

get a lawyer, get out that's it

Answer 7

If he was not married in the Catholic church then the church is "out of the picture" so to speak.  He can get a divorce and does not need to get an annulment.  He is able to marry through the Catholic church but he will need to take the Pre-Cana classes (marriage prep) etc. when the time comes.  I would highly recommend he go to confession and "confess" this divorce so he can talk things over with his priest.  Being Catholic, I know he has to be feeling guilt about an impending divorce, whether it's his fault or not.  Going to confession will help him deal with that.

Answer 8

As a catholic that was previously married (not in a catholic church but civil ceremony) I know for a fact that if you are not married in the Catholic church, your marriage is not recognized and therefore you are off the hook. I was able to marry in the Catholic Church later with no hassles or question. As if I were single and this being the first time.

Answer 9

I'm Catholic, too.  I was not married in the Church the first time around.  

If your friend gets divorced, he would not have to file for an annulment before getting remarried in the Church.  Yes, he would be allowed to get married in the Church the next time around.  Technically, though the government recognizes his first marriage, the Church does not recognize it anyway.

On a more personal note:  My mother was married in the Church the first time around and it was her parish priest who told her it would be absolutely ok to divorce my abusive father.  She remarried in a civil ceremony years later and is saving up for an annulment so she can marry my step-dad in the Church.