Divorce and domestic violence- Colorado?

Question

I have been married for almost 5 years. In that time I dealt with emotional and verbal abuse. He also became physical a couple of times. When things came to a head this weekend, he grabbed me by the arms, leaving bruises. Against my better judgment I did not report it to the police. Now he's making threats regarding custody of our child. Can I document the abuse even now? Would he be arrested? I really don't want him to be but I want this documented. Also any advice regarding custody? I have no record while he has a few alcohol related offenses. I need some advice and maybe even a little reassurance from someone who'd been there.

Answer 1

This is not a type of question to be asked on this site. You need to get professional help. I have a brother in law in Colorado, that is one of the top leading family counselors in the State of Colorado. His name is David L. Blair, he is at 4891 Independence St. Suite 165, Wheatridge, Co. 80033. Telephone No.# 303-456-0600. Tell him that Jim-Bob sent you from the Philippines. And if you don't live near there, he can advise you where you can go get good help. His specialty is in abused families.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened. Get out.

Firstly, tell a friend or family member about it as you'll need support.Go to the police and report it.Find a lawyer and start custody paperwork.Try and get a place or someone to stay with before you leave so that you are in control. Try and remember all incidents and document them.Make this plan before you leave and be strong.I know it's hard but you deserve better and so does your child.All the best .

Answer 3

If he left bruises, they are still there.. if you want my honest advice, as one who has been there.. go immediately to your local police department, show them the bruises and tell them what happened.. if they want to press charges, do it.. (I know you're telling yourself you don't want him to go to jail and you don't want to put your children's father in jail, but you didn't do it.. he did by his actions.. and letting them press charges can make or break a later custody case... )demand they file a report of your coming and showing them the bruises if they won't do anything else..

Next, ask them how to file a restraining order.. more than likely, you'll have to go to the court house and file one in the morning.. they have an advocate in the courthouse usually that will help you with the paperwork and will go before the judge with you.. take the copy of the police report with you.. file for a restraining order for you and your child.. try to ask for them to allow telephone contact only for your child to speak to their father (if old enough) - I know this sounds wierd, but later in a custody case, it's evidence that you did try to allow your child to have contact in a safe way with his or her father.  

Keep a copy of the restraining order on you at all times, and file a copy with the local police departments, etc.. (daycare or school)...

Then, file for divorce.  Think of anyone you know who is an impartial witness who may have seen him violent or mean to you.. that is important.. take pictures of the bruising, and it may be a good idea to lay an object close to it in the pictures like a quarter or something to show the size of the bruising..

I went through exactly the same thing.. and trust me, the advice I am giving you helped me.. I have sole legal and physical custody of our daughter and he has limited supervised visitation..

Also.. I won't put words in your mouth, but I will say this.. if what happened.. could have possibly caused any pain in your shoulder or arm that you think might need to be seen by a doctor, this would only help your case, greatly, if you reported to a doctor what happened and needed medical treatment for it in addition to the police report.. think about it...

please email me anytime for advice or if you just need to talk..

Answer 4

Get the child out of there quickly. This guy is a bully.

Answer 5

I haven't been there but, I think that you need to take action ASAP before the abuse becomes worse (it will) and before your child becomes abused...Please contact a legal aid facility (I am sure you can find places that will advise you for free) and ask them what the proper steps are to document abuse and ask them how to proceed... You need to do this now, see if you can contact a 24 hour hot-line or something, you are putting yourself and your child in danger the longer you stay...Good Luck.

Answer 6

I don't know specifics to Colorado but I think it is the same all over when it comes to abuse. REPORT IT. If you do not then it is his word against yours and judges don't like that at all. As for his record they proably won't take that into consideration since it is minor. You need to report every occurrence of abuse as it will help in court when you fight for custody. It sounds like he has already thought about it and you need to move fast before he gets the jump on you where the courts are concerned because it hard to play catch up so to speak.Good Luck.