Divorce how to break it to her.?

Question

Ok I've been thinking about this for years 6 to be exact. I'm totally miserable in our marriage, I think she is too. We do not do anything together anymore, she's not interested in me at any level. She blames it on her depression. We have no common ground other than our child. The last time I left her she tried to do something stupid to herself. I am afraid she might try it agin if I leave. What do think is the best thing to do..

Answer 1

just tell her she probably feels the same way. my partner just went through the same thing as you- his ex had a big carry on about it all then when she sat down and thought about it she realised it was for the best- it was no good raising the kids in that environment , it was no good fighting with him all the time etc it's always hard when you've been with some one for that long but it's no good hanging around if ya not happy mate.

Answer 2

tell her you want a divorce, and that you are most willing

to pay child support for the child's needs, children

have many needs, then see what happens, if it

becomes a problem too big to handle, then get

the lawyers to do the mediation.  Good Luck

Answer 3

Ask her what it is that is missing in your marriage and find out if it is even worth working on anymore. You all started out with high hopes where did those hopes go? What future could you create for the two of you? Doesn't sound like you are really talking. Sounds you both are complaining.

Answer 4

let her know you are so un happy, ask her how she feels about your marriage. if you think she feels the same way maybe she is ready for a split and will agree to it. you both may have fallen into a rut, and she may feel that every thing is ok in your marriage. when it is not.  does she know how you feel about what is going on between you both?  if not tell her.  she may be willing to start over and try to change to make things better.  you will never know unless you talk it out.

Answer 5

geez...stupid answers...i've been through this before...

...leave a note, take your kid, tell her you'll contact her in a few days about the divorce in the note, and thats it. Just get out and away from her so she can stop trying to make you stay with her. The sooner the better.

Answer 6

First, I've been there. I would try to get you both to counseling. So offer this first. Describe how there is a big disconnect in your relationship that you both acknowledge. Marriage counseling can do wonders.

Perhaps you've "been there and done that."

Offer the terms of the break up in the noblest manner. Offer to move out or to help her in any way possible to make the transition smoothly. My advice is to keep it as amicable as possible. You married her so you must have valued her a great deal at some time.

That person you loved is worth an elegant and noble break-up. Try to do it fairly.

Small and petty squabbles are for small people. Keep it away from the child as much as possible. It will be stressful enough for him or her.

Most of all, good luck.

Answer 7

Sometimes its best for one person to make the decision for both people especially if you know that both of you are miserable.  If she wants to do stupid things to herself to make you stay then take your child and file for divorce.  

Answer 8

first you try to fix her.  You tell her you are going to petition for divorce if she doesn't shape up.  Your miserable for some reason and you didn't give any reason for your misery.  If she's fat she has to loose the weight if she's a loud mouth Biaaatch she better stop and respect her man.  That kida stuff.  If she doesn't your going to file and thats that.  THE KEY part of this is to point out she is going to be a single mother with a kid and no guy worth dating will be interested in her, she will be alone with no chance of another man in her life.  

Answer 9

Help get her involved in some kind of counseling. If u have been there for six years too long a few more months wont hurt, help her get help and her mind together then figure out the best way to part ways,  

Answer 10

Is she being treated for her depression?  Do you still love her at ALL?  IF she is not being treated, could there be a chance to stay together if she were to get treatment?   What will happen to the child?  there are a lot of things you have to take into consideration when contemplating divorce and NOT just how YOU feel about it... or what YOU want...   Something made you fall in love with her once.   Couples who fall apart USUALLY do so because of a total lack of communication... any chance of some counsel-ling before you take the separate plunge?  I'd hate to see a marriage break up and a child hurt if it MIGHT be saved.... you've obviously invested several years into this marriage... if you see no hope then maybe  you should just tell her that  but if she might try to do something stupid to herself, that does seem to suggest that she still loves you very much and doesn't want to lose you... try what you can first.....

Answer 11

My brother's marriage was almost there, same kinda situation as yours. My sis-in-law suffered from PostNatal Depression and she didnt continue her medication. It got worsen. She would cry, scream, shout for no reason. And then became anti-social. My brother and her will quarrel everyday, without fail. Thus, their relationship was on the edge. She even has got the sucidal thoughts too.

Luckily, my bro took her to the doc and she undergo some medications and of course, my bro loves her lot... and everyone gives in to her pretty much... And now, they are totally a happy family. :) Together with my niece. :)

What I'm trying to convey is that, she's afterall your wife. So perhaps you may wish to bring her for some counselling or so? Who knows, things will be better for you? :) Divorce may not be the only solution. Think for your child... and perhaps, it's really Depression that causes your marital problems? :) Talk to her, shower her with a little more love and care... At least you are trying to salvage the marriage. Trust me... Children suffer the most when it comes to 'divorce'.

Since it has already been 6 yrs, then why not give yourself and your family another chance...? If her condition improves, i'm sure your love will improve too! And probably it's all worth dying for. :) Lastly, of course, if you still insist on Divorce, then -sigh-...

The ball is in your court... :)

Answer 12

If you are not happy than talk with her about this.  My guess is she is using the depression thing to make you stay.  And if I were you I would be taking the child with you because if she is a little unstable who knows what might happen.  That child does not need to find or see anything that she would do.  If you feel that things are not working and the lifes of the two of you have moved to another life well move them and now would be the time to to do this before things get more complicated.  When you can smile and know that your child is safe and that you can laugh and love again, things are for the best.  Good Luck!!

Answer 13

So. You're going to be hostage to her suicidal gestures the rest of your life? You will note that she did NOT kill herself over you. She did something else, and it worked nicely and reeled you back in. When you tell her, tell her that's it. You've decided and won't be backing out. Make up the spare bed or move out. Go see the lawyer first. I have a feeling you don't have the toughness to get your ducks properly in a row. And if she pulls another gesture, call the lawyer and tell him immediately so he can advise you how to proceed while she's in for the psych eval.