Divorced mother of 1 fed up! Help!?

Question

I have been divorced for over a year and half. It has been ruff. He basicly left us for a 17 yr old girl and we have gone through tons of court. I have full custody of my 18 month old daughter. I lost my business last July where I made my own hours, now i work a 45 hour a week job that I hate. Lately I have been changing. I am constanly angry, hate peopl rather then dislike. If someone try’s pick I fight with me I give it back to them 10x. I never used to be like that. So why am I changing so much? I just don’t care any more. My daughter is the most important thing to me and thats it. Not friends, not work.

Why am I changing? Is this normal when life is tuff. I am about to turn 30 so I am not old. I am just fed up. Any ideas on how I fix this?

Answer 1

don't be bitter because he left you for someone who is 17.Your ex is living the life whilst you are engaging in unhealthy behavior. I understand its heartbreaking but don't take your anger on someone else because it will bring you nothing but grief. Take a day and let everything out be it crying or yelling or talking to friends or whatever you choose to do to let everything out, after that, enjoy life. Appreciate life because someone is worse of than you are trust me... take long walks, talk to friends and whenever you are ready to date get the ball rolling... Don't let you ex's exit or failed business cause your whole life to be in turmoil. After all what is the worst that can happen and know that there is always life after people decide to leave your life...

Answer 2

your unfair circumstances have caused u to think the way u do, after being hurt like u were kits easy to get a bad outlook on life.seek a self help divorce recovery group where u can vent your anger, meet others who are in your boat, raising a child all on your own is hard,prayer and knowing god also will help u get through this.

Answer 3

life can make you bitter like that.  I went through a phase like this as well.  I was about 30, 2 kids, separated from my husband and I hated (not disliked) Hated everything and everybody.  I felt like the world had s**+tted on me and didn't bother to wipe!  Believe it or not, it will pass.  Change is inevitable. Everything changes. Without change, everything stays the same.  and when things and people stay the same, there is no evolution! And we as humans cannot develop into our full potential without change.  This evolution is preparing you for what is to come.  It is making you into a better and stronger person believe it or not.  There will come a time when you will see yourself getting better instead of bitter!  I just kind of stayed to myself for a while and took care of myself and my children until I came to terms with these new feelings and learned how to manipulate them for the good in life. Don't know if you believe in God, but prayer, lots of prayer, helps tremendously.  Stay prayed up and work on taking these feelings and using them to get more positive results for your life and your child's!  

Answer 4

counseling / anger management classes

I have been there and have worked very hard on my anger.  I still lose it some times but it does get better.  You have been hurt and by a man that decided someone young.  You have to deal with those issues and bottling them inside will only help you explode.  

Answer 5

You are probably just stressed and thinking about your child. Working long hours and adjusting to a new way of life is hard. I would not worry too much about it. Just stay focused on yourself and your daughter. If people are nice to you, I'm sure you return the same. Good luck.

Answer 6

When you stop caring it means you are angry about what has happened to you and you do not have a plan of action to change your life. Unresolved anger leads to depression.

So you are asking if this is normal when life is tuff. Yes it is normal.

I went back to college when I was 31 and was much happier because I was making more money and wasn't being treated like an idiot.

You need to be honest with yourself and identify exactly what is bothering you the most. I suspect it is your job. You should do some soul searching and explore what kind of job you could do without hating it, and start getting some advice on how to accomplish the job change.

I don't think your job is the only thing bothering you, but it is important to identify the most important thing to change first and then move on to the next thing. You should be able to transform your life in five years.

When the grrl turns 18 you might consider suing her for alienation of affection and whatever other consequences you may have suffered because of her violating your marriage. I think you will feel better if you fight back and articulate how you were wronged.

Try to be honest about what is really bothering you, this is the most important thing. It seems to me you are ignoring something that you are very discontent or angry about and that is what is shutting down your emotions and heading toward depression.

Answer 7

Oh girl....I feel you! Listen, this is your life! You are BOSS! If you want to let what has happened effect you in this way let it! But if not, take it in for what it is....You dropped a loser, gained a great kid, work a S***y job like millions of us and not have a chance to make changes in you life for the better if you so choose.  Go to school get a better job, find a real man....dont let the hard knocks of life keep you down, take a hit dust off and show those bastereds wat you got

Answer 8

It's because your 30, divorced, and a single mother and a failure at business.   You know that you will most likely grow into a bitter old crone and your daughter will most likely hate you.  I think it's just natural to get bitter when things are that hopeless.

Answer 9

You have a lot of pent up frustration, which is understandable. Exercise is great to get it out.

Answer 10

You could call me, I haven't got much to do and a steady job.  I am use to being abused by woman, because I fall in love too easily, and allow them to walk all over me as a result.  So what are you doing tonight?

As far as he goes your better off without him, go to court, get the child support set up, and move on, he blew it, and will miss his child, when he  grows up himself!

Answer 11

one word - Stress.  It does crazy things to people.  Find some time to yourself, do things you enjoy.  Start a journal to get all of your feelings out.  I did this when I was going through my divorce, and here I am several months later, and I'm still writing in it.  Also, talk to your doctor.  I know most people don't want to hear this, but a divorce and becoming a single parents can send even the most stable person into depression ...I started taking a depression medication, and I have been so much better !

Good luck, I've been there.