Do Adoptive Parents try to encourage the childs mother to breastfeed for a few months?

Question

This question is for the Ap's that adopted a baby.

Its the best thing for a babies immune system and was wondering if it mattered to those ap's.

Answer 1

My son's first mom nursed him in the hospital for 3 days, then pumped, froze, and Fed-Exd us breastmilk for several months (we live in different states) . She had the help and support of a lactation specialist both in and after leaving the hospital.

ETA: She asked if she could do this for him, and I was thrilled to accept, but I would not have pushed it on her.

Answer 2

Truthfully I have never heard of this. My guess is a myriad of reasons. One they are anxious to get the child home. If they want the mom to breast feed she needs to move in or stay with her. Yes she can pump but every lactation specialist will say pumping is not as effective as actual feeding especially in the beginning.  

Two there is the chance she will get attached and change her mind. Yes it is bad to say but very true. The AP biggest fear is the mom chaning her mind until the finalization.

Finally i don't think many want to. I know three first moms and two were and are open adoptions but they wanted the baby to go home with the AP as soon as possible

Answer 3

I would have loved for my daughter to have been breastfed at least once. It was not an option for her though. Her mom did not want to hold her. She did not breastfeed her other 4 children either.

It does matter to me though. I feel bad that my children missed out on the opportunity to receive the healthiest choice and the bonding time.

Answer 4

There are some women who are not in the position to nurse their children, because of substance abuse and I'm not just talking about those who place thier babies.

If mother and baby are healthy, then I don't see a problem with it. Someone posted a story about a girl who dcided that if the baby took to the breast, then she would parent her baby. It was very touching. You could really feel the connection between them. Maybe I was just over sensitive because I wanted so bad to breast feed, but couldn't. But what an amazing example of mother's instincts kicking in. I call THAT a happy ending (or begining)

Answer 5

In both of my son's (1 I gave birth to, the other adopted) births, neither could be breastfed.  I had been on medications during delivery and antibiotics afterwards, and my son's first mother had done meth, which was still in her system when he was born.

Both of my sons are healthy, even though raised on formula.  My oldest is hardly ever sick (age 19).  Immunizations and living healthy lives, as well as teaching my kids to wash their hands, and to use hand sanitizer as well helps.  My grandmother was raised on goat's milk when her mother didn't have any milk.  She is now 96, and has never had a cold or the flu, and she's never been in the hospital overnight, except to give birth to my mom (the other 2 were born at home).  It seems our family does pretty good for not being breastfed.

Answer 6

It's not a matter of 'mattering', because it wasn't an option for us.

Answer 7

Our daughter's mom lived across the country and didn't want contact, so this wasn't an option. I would think in most cases it would be hard to orchestrate, unless the natural mom wanted to pump and provide the milk. This sounds like a big strain on the natural mom. Since baby's need to be fed round the clock, I can't imagine a situation where this is practical. Also it sounds very stressful for the natural mom to breastfeed a child she has decided not to parent.

Some adoptive moms do breastfeed, since there are health benefits.

Answer 8

I was adopted and we have 2 adopted kids, and all three of us had ok immune systems and we were not breast feed.  Think of it from the birth mother's standpoint- breastfeeding is more than just food for the baby- it is a way to bond with your child.  IF the birth mom places for adoption there should be a clean break - not to say that a relationship can not happen later with  your birth child- my son , who is 19 has contact with his birth mom- however as a baby NO- I don't think that this is best.

Answer 9

I can't think of any aparent who would say that their baby's health was unimportant to them.

It simply is not always possible.

Answer 10

In our case that wasn't an option as our children were 6 months old, and we unfortunetly didn't have contact with their firstmoms, and we don't know if they were breastfed in the first few days or not.

I do know of several adoptive parents who encouraged the baby's firstmom to nurse in the hospital, but I don't know that having her breastfeed the baby for several months would be practical, unless she was willing to live with the adoptive family during that time, and be available to nurse every 2-3 hours.

I also know a few adoptive moms who've induced lactation and breastfed the baby themselves, and others who've feed the baby breastmilk that was either pumped from the birthmother or donated by another woman.