Do Any Other Parents Feel This Way?

Question

I'm a single mom with 3 boys. Their father is out of work (fired a month ago due to his bipolar issues) and has a lot of free time. I just moved to a bigger house that has the room all the boys need. Nobody helped me and I have been unpacking for a week - and I'm not even close to being finished! I'm tired all the time and it's very hard. I even showed up at work today with my blouse on inside out (which was humiliating because one of the women who work for me pointed it out hours after I'd come in!). The boys are with me everyday except every other weekend. Their father used to work at night, so it was all up to me and I understood that. But now that he's out of work and isn't going back for a while due to his bipolar disorder, is it wrong for me to want some time off? He picks them up from daycare and day camp everyday, which definitely saves us some money. But he won't keep them past 5 p.m. so I can work late if I need to or take them overnight so I can rest and catch up on unpacking. Am I wrong to want some time "off" from being a solo act? And no, I have no vacation time left from my job. I used it all up with kid's field trips, doctor visits, etc.

Answer 1

I understand what your saying but it doesnt look like things are going to change

Answer 2

Christia, although it does sound like a fair thing for you to have some time to yourself, it appears that your man is not either stable enough or interested in helping you with this matter.  If you have any family that can take the kids the odd time it would be beneficial to you, perhaps even a sister in law or someone from his side of the family.  Certainly they would understand your need for some relaxing time and I would hope would be open to helping you achieve this.  If not I guess you'll have to grin and bear it.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Honey first of all why are you putting all this pressure on your self to unpack and clean and cook and take care of every little need the boys have. Yes I know you are the parent but you would be amazed at how resourceful children can be when called on to be in charge.

Is there any family members that could help out?

I would contact his family and tell them in your most concerned motherly voice that you are worried that the boys will be missing out on his side of the family with him keeping his visits so short and you want to make sure that they have a well rounded family life so if they wanted to visit with the boys some time just let you know. Sometimes grandparents get lost in the mix of divorce so bring them in and let yourself breath.

I have 6 kids try finding a sitter you can afford for that! My husband works all the time and I am chief cook and bottle washer for years. When I want a day to myself or to just relax and have fun I try to find a safe way to involve the children where we can all laugh and play you would be surprised how much stress can be relieved through laughter.

Good Luck

Lisa

Answer 4

No your not wrong you ex husband needs to step up and take them somtimes so you can get at least one day off. Its hard being a single mom with boys to raise. Do you have any other family member that will help you out?