Do Feminists dislike chivalry? And if so, why?

Question

Like holding open doors, walking out of an elevator after her, giving up your seat on the bus/train to her, etc.

Answer 1

I appreciate common courtesy.  We should all extend courtesy to one another.

Chivalry carries with it a connotation that women need special care and consideration because they are fragile and unable to live independently.  I find those ideas to be insulting.

So please, unless I am in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy or on crutches, keep your seat on the bus.  And if you are an elderly or injured man, or a man caring for an infant/toddler, please take my seat.

Answer 2

Chivalry is a social contract which recognizes the male as the stronger s*x.

Chivalry is acting benevolently towards a woman so as to show her that he is harmless and wishes her well. It's a kind gesture. Feminists resent it because of the recognition of the male as the dominant s*x.

Answer 3

I wish chivalry would make a come back. Women didn't know how good they had it and now they are using the excuse that they don't need it just like they don't need men.

I love my man manly and not afraid to show some chivalry.

Answer 4

I don't dislike it so much as I find it unnecessary.   Basic manners dictate that you don't let a door slam in someone's face if they're coming through right behind you, that you hold the door for someone whose hands are full, that you don't push and shove to get off an elevator, and that you offer a seat on the bus to someone who is obviously less able to stand than you.  This is what I think I should be doing to be polite and I don't expect any more than that just because I'm a woman.

Answer 5

Oh they hate it.  They'll give you a few different reasons why but in reality they hate either men or everything.  Never met an exception once :)

Answer 6

No, I don't dislike it. In fact, it's nice to know that there's some polite and thoughtful individuals still left.

Also, just because I'm a feminist, it doesn't mean that I won't treat men with the same respect and courtesy. I'll hold doors open for men, etc.

It's called good manners :-)

Answer 7

It cracks me up how bitter some men still are toward feminists.

I certainly appreciate courtesy/chilvary.  My husband, after 10 years, still opens the car door for me every time we get in.  

In my opinion, a real man understands that he needs women for s*x and doesn't resent them for it.

Answer 8

Wikipedia describes chivalry as "...only a name for that general spirit or state of mind which disposes men to heroic actions, and keeps them conversant with all that is beautiful and sublime in the intellectual and moral world." (1).

The dictionary describes a chivalrous act as a gallant deed, (2).

Chivalry was used to show respect and honor to women and to display that they thought too of them being beautiful and sublime.  

Unfortunately, with the birth of feminism, the demand to be equal, showing "that women can do anything a man can," officially told all men, that "hey, you are NOT special, beautiful, or sublime.  You are just like men."

Chivalry vs. Equality is a line that once gets crossed, you pay the price.  Now you are equal.

But now, feminists and women everywhere are recognizing a wonderful "anthem for disrespected and mistreated women everywhere: Chivalry is dead." (3)

The bad part about it is that you asked for it to leave.  But the moment it doesn't work out in your favor, you go bouncing back to the "Anthem".

Unfortunately, you need to make up your minds of which you wish to have.  Gentlemenly behavior, or not.  We will officially fend for ourselves, because you stated so wholeheartedly that you can do the same.  

Congratulations Feminists, you win.  You are exactly like men.  NOTHING SPECIAL AT ALL.  Just like the rest of the world.  Another nameless face in the crowd, number on a piece of paper, another nobody.  

Answer 9

Real feminists reject chivalry but the hypocrites scarf it up.  Real feminists reject it because it means treating women differently than men for no reason other than their gender.

Answer 10

I don't dislike the actions of holding doors so much as that it's being done because I'm female. That kind of thing is common courtesy. =]

Answer 11

Most feminists like it as long as they get to do it back. But that's more common courtesy than chivalry.

Answer 12

If feminists dislike 'chivalry' then I agree with them (gosh, did I really say that).

In fact chivalry doesn't exist. It existed only in the mediaeval era and was a code between the warlords (knights). It was never a 'woman thing' anyway.

I'm an equalist and I think you must really be referring to courtesy and respect between men and women. That's what we don't have enough of and some people don't realise that it's a TWO-WAY STREET.

Answer 13

Dislike the word chivalry as though good manners is something only men should aspire to.  I would expect anyone to respond in that way appropriate to the situation.  As a woman, I would give up my seat for a pregnant woman, a younger man on crutches, an elderly man having difficulty standing, and equally if they decline my offer so be it.

I would hold open a door as the alternative of bashing it into someone's face is unthinkable!

Answer 14

Being courteous is good, but over the top chivalry is quite annoying. Holding the door for the person behind you is polite, whether it's a man or a woman. No one likes a door slamming in your face especially when your hands are full.

I'm capable of standing on the bus so I don't need a guy to give me his seat. I would rather he save is for an old or disabled person. I've had a man go so far as to stop what he was doing to "wave" me in into a parking space...as if to say I can't park without his help. To me that is a bit offensive even though I'm sure he didn't intend it to be.

Going out of your way to help a person that didn't ask for help is implying that person is helpless.

My point is, just treat women, and everyone, the way you would like to be treated.

Answer 15

Feminists are insecure women that are angry and take it out on men. They hate men and it is sad. They need to get it through their heads that men and women cannot do everything the same. I am sorry but if I was stuck in a burning building I would want a male firefighter to come pick me up and carry me out then a woman! Men are stronger and fighters. They have it in their blood to be the care-taker of their families and to protect their offspring. Women have the gift of child-rearing and having motherly instincts. I find it hilarious women groups put down men, it is so sad and I feel bad for any man who is surrounded by a feminist.

But wouldnt a feminist still want a man to be a man and hold the door open, etc. You would think they would because a man is being a man! Shoot when my husband opens doors for me and all the chivalry stuff he does, it makes me smile which doesnt make me insignificant as a woman, it makes me respecte by my man.

Answer 16

I don't know why anyone would hate someone being polite and courteous. I think some people have chivalry confused with condescension. This era is all screwed up with mixed messages, I personally love it when someone shows courtesy and is not only thinking about themselves. I do all of those things for other people as well, men and women, and that makes me feel good too.

Answer 17

I'm a feminist, and I like it when men are polite to me by holding a door open and stuff like that.  I would be quite annoyed if a man pushed past me out of an elevator.  I think basic politeness is really important.  I wouldn't object if a man gave me his seat on a train, but maybe a woman in high heels would benefit more, since I always wear comfortable shoes!

I like to think that a man wouldn't be offended if I held a door for him, or gave up my seat on a train if he needed it, or waited for him to leave the elevator first if he was closest to the door.

** Elephant man, you make me laugh so much!  I liked your use of ad hominem argument to demonstrate the response you believed the question would get.  Good use of counter-intuitive irony.