Do I HAVE to invite my grandma?

Question

I don't want her at my wedding or my reception. I hate her new husband he's an a ss to everyone. and so arrogant and self riteous.

SHE'S just as bad.

She has yet to even say congratulations to me about getting engaged as far as she knows we've been engaged for over 2 years.(we broke it off for a bit but no one in my family knows that) she just tells me why every decision we make is wrong. She does this about every single thing in my life. I put up with it, pretend it doesn't bug me and that I appreciate her suggestions. Then I find out every time I leave a room she calls me rude and ungrateful. Which I am far from. So I don't even want her there she has ruined every single special day for me in my entire life (honestly, my 13 and 16th bdays-she put me in tears my highschool graduation - she put me in tears. She even blackmailed me into being her maid of honour when she married Senior Do uche bag) and she'll do it again.

Okay so can I just NOT invite her? Or is there some stupid rule somewhere that says I HAVE to invite her?

Sorry if I sound really bitter. When I think about everything she HAS done to me and everything she is going to do on my wedding to ruin it I get very mad.

Answer 1

You are not required to invite anybody to your wedding. That said, whatever attitude you get from your grandma I'm sure will increase exponentially if you don't. I would just have a firm talk with her before you give her an invite and nicely bring up how you'd love for her to be a part of your day but you only want people there that are going to make it better, not worse. In the past she has upset you at various events and you don't want a repeat performance.

BTW, you're getting married in exactly a year and a day after I do!! Yea!!!!

Answer 2

You don't technically HAVE to invite anyone, but I would invite her. She sounds like a retched person, but to keep the peace among everyone, I would extend the invite, and leave it at that. She might not even come. And if she does attend and say mean things behind your back, everyone's going to know she's just a miserable old lady with a partner to match. It won't ruin day, guaranteed. Then no one can complain that you didn't invite her and you look like the better person.

Answer 3

No you don't have to. When she calls you up and asks why she isn't invited, you sarcastically tell her "Well, since you think I am such an ungrateful grandchild, I don't feel the need for you to be burdened with having to come to my wedding. Lord knows those incidents at my high school graduation, my 13th birthday, and my Sweet 16 parties were all my fault and god forbid if we want to upset you on MY wedding day."

Whatever she says back, or tells your family, forget about it, and enjoy your day. More likely then not, the rest of your family already knows how much of a ***** she is.

Just because she is blood, doesn't mean she needs to be respected.

Answer 4

you can invite/not invite whomever you wish. However, if your grandma is the way you make her sound, then more than likely she won't come to the wedding. If she does come to the wedding and she makes a scene at your wedding, it's not your fault, she'll look bad

Answer 5

That's really tough.  I'm sorry she's put you through this.

I don't think there's any rule that says you have to invite someone who is emotionally abusive as you describe.  You don't need to be in tears because of one person's mean spirited actions.  If she comes, people will see her as being the rude and  childish one, not you.

I do, however, think it may be time to stand up for yourself.  It's natural to be mad about what she's done.  If she says something negative, don't just put up with it.  Tell her something like "I'm sorry you don't agree, but this is what I'm doing".  By just going along with it, you're not showing her how inappropriate she's being.  Confront her.  "Grandma, why are you so against my wedding?  Why can't you just be happy for me?  Why can't you just accept my decisions?"

Do you have proof of something she is going to do at your wedding or is this an assumption?  

If you want to completely sever the relationship, there is a way, but it's drastic and may cause more issues.  You can always sit down with her and tell her you are not inviting her because of (list of things here).  Tell her if she can't be happy with you and for you, then she is not welcome.

Good luck.

Answer 6

She's the one with the problem not you, Make up your mind on your wedding day that it's your day to shine and you'll let nothing and nobody ruin it for you. If she's there and says something just look at her like the bitter old nut she is and laugh it off. She is just trying to make you feel as miserable as she is, don't let her. You are in control of how you allow others to make you feel.

There are no surprises here you know she'll be nasty and bitter so expect it and move on.

If she does come I would enlist some backup help like maybe your husband, member of the bridal party or someone who will keep her on a lease.

If you don't invite her I would just cut off the rest of the relationship with her, always be calm and nice, but you don't have to engage in any conversations with her. or even see her again if you don't want to.  

Answer 7

You don't have to invite anyone to your wedding, but these types of things will always come back to haunt you in the future.  If you fail to invite her, then it will just give her more ammunition when she refers to you as rude and ungrateful.  

Remember that you can do whatever you wish, but sometimes it's a good idea to be the bigger person.  

Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

You have to invite her.  Have your parent (her son or daughter) run interference, but have her there.

Answer 9

You don't have to invite her.  Just because she is family doesn't mean you have to like her.  

Be honest with anyone who asks... tell them exactly what you said here.  I am sure they will understand.  If they don't, maybe they don't need to be invited either.

Good luck

Answer 10

you do not have to but if you want to invite her and not her husband just put her name only on the inviation

Answer 11

if you don't invite her, that will send a clear and final message that you don't want her as a grandma anymore.  so be prepared for uncivil behavior and words from her at future family functions.  but chances are if you don't invite her, she will go to your wedding anyway because she sounds pretty ignorant.  she'll probably assume she can ride with other family members, who will assume you want her there so they'll take her.

Answer 12

You don't have to invite her, but some day you may look back and regret it. Where in the h**l were your parents when grandma brought you to tears?!!!

Answer 13

I wouldn't and if she asks why I would tell her.  Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.

Answer 14

yes u should invite her i mean she is the best person to u, i hope she is..

Answer 15

it's your day and noone elses.  If you don't like them and feel they can spoil things then i would NOT invite them.  Just remember it is a day you want to be a wonderful memory for the rest of your life=)

Answer 16

Its your wedding so there are no rules.  If you are paying its up to you to make the guest list.  And if she makes you uncomfortable nd does not support you I see why you wouldn't want her there

Answer 17

NO, you are NOT obligated to invite ANYONE. It's YOUR wedding, invite who you want.

Answer 18

if your afraid she will ruin your big day then maybe you should have a talk with her and let her know how you feel and that you will only invite her and her husband on the condition that they behave themselves until your wedding day and if she or he slips up just ONE time now until that day then they are uninvited, she may even decide that being nice to you isn't worth going at all and she wont come, or maybe you should have a talk with one of your parents on the situation and see what they think about it. if you choose not to talk to her about it and just not invite her then you could be setting yourself up for a lot more heartbreak in the years to come it could cause the relationship to be severed so if that's what your looking for then don't say anything to her at all and just don't invite her, but be ready for her to talk about you behind your back a lot more now than she did before

Answer 19

nah