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Question

My wife used to be very affectionate, wanted to French kiss me all the time and huge me. Now she leave the house saying be later. Also, I feel like she blames for everything wrong in her life, like me inviting an old friend of mine to stay with us who was alcoholic, and drug addict and even though he moved out after 3mo we still deal with him ‘cause he wants help. She also says I don’t help her with chores or our son, and that she has one full time job and one part time job while taking online class. Also, she said I told her 6mo a go that she was way to affectionate ‘cause she never slept with someone before me so she to clingy and I don’t like that, I did say that but I didn’t think much of it than. We been married 2yr she is 24 I’m 34, we have 2.5yr old son. What can I do to save my marriage thanks.

Answer 1

Don't feel bad I thought that was just my husband but I see it's not just my relationship.I guess after a while of being married or being together for a while you are supposed to automatically know they feel you and that big show of emotion that once was is over. It's like they do what they need to do to get you and after they get you they feel you already know how they feel so they lesson the love but they need to realize that the romance piece is very important in maintaining a relationship. I suggest you two talk.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

If you stat acting liking a mature man of 34, and quit talking and acting before you think.

First of all, you have no right to bring anyone into your home unless you consult with the other person that lives with you--you wife!!!

Secondly, if you are having problems in your marriage, you should not be helping anyone else with their problems.  You should be putting all of your effort into working things out in your marriage.  If you are letting your wife work full time and have a second job and schooling, you are a jerk, and you don't deserve a wife.  you should be working two jobs and letting her work one and go to school if the money is that necessary.

Sounds to me that you are a selfish person, that has not considered her needs at all.  I am surprised she stayed this long.  You need to get off the high horse, and humble yourself.  You are extremely lucky to have a wife 10 years younger than you.  If you don't start treating her right by showing her your appreciation, love and respect, you will be alone and selfish.  There are plenty of men that will show her what she needs if you can't do the job!!!

It takes work to build a good marriage.  If you are interested in learning how women think, read the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".  It will help you to understand why she is so unhappy.By the way, she is in her maturing years, and will be going through some changes in personality and ideas in the next few years.  Be prepared if you work this out.

Answer 4

Pray. You blew it!

Answer 5

Your wife is tired and sounds depressed. Get your druggie mate out your little boy shouldn't be around someone like that. Do you find it easy to talk to her if not why not write down your thoughts making sure you concentrate on the positives wrap your note around a single red rose and leave on her pillow. Then give her the gift of time: your time together alone, her time to do what she wants and family time. Do things together,,, just going out for a walk can open a line of communication.Take the initiative.  

Answer 6

By telling your wife she was too affectionate and clingy, you have in effect pushed her away, of course she will feel hurt by this & feel that she should be less loving!  The fact that you were her first should make you feel proud, she obviously saved herself for you & loves you & you have rejected her badly! Now you are wanting her love back, she must be very confused!

I also suggest that she must be very tired with 2 jobs a child & house to keep- I KNOW she must be exhausted as I have done the same myself in the past, so please help her, talk to her and make her feel wanted and valued and most of all loved.  

Answer 7

your wife needs a break......

Answer 8

You've just got to show her you love her, everyone makes mistakes. Let her know and show her how sorry you are for saying or doing the wrong things. Maybe counseling. Try to do whatever you can to show her that you mean the world to her. You were trying to help an old friend, sometimes old friends can't be helped but you are a nice person it sounds like and wanted to do what you could. Show her now that she comes first and always will. Help her more around the house. I know chores stink.. I hate doing them too. Show her that you want her affection.

I wish you the best of luck. I think you can save your marriage, marriage always takes work.  

Answer 9

She was just too young and feels trapped. Never move anyone in with you it cause problems! Help her show her love and give her flowers, help with your son and cook and clean some too

Answer 10

Punt the drug addict, alcoholic to the curb and NEVER invite someone to live in your house with-out your wifes blessings (apologize for this). Likewise, tell him he needs to find help elsewhere (the Government has programs available to him) and if he asks tell him you have your own immediate family to take care of now (your wife & kids).

You also need to man-up and help her around the house and / or work more yourself so she doesn't have to work a part time job (she has to much going on).  I'd also offer to take the kids by yourself every now and than so your wife can catch a break (have a breather).  In the process of this, you need to be very loving to your wife (buy her some flowers or some such..a sign of affection).  

Answer 11

If I was her I will be gone long time a go.

Answer 12

Sounds like its too late and I feel she is confidently and quietly making plans without you being in it already.

When are you going to GROW UP?, I wouldn't stick around either and I don't blame her one bit for leaving you when she does. Only little chance you may have of saving this relationship is GETTING RID OF THE ALCOHOLIC AND DRUG ADDICT PERMANATELY, and start getting off your butt and doing the house work for her.

Sorry but you deserve what you get.

Answer 13

Are YOU ready to change? Your BIGGEST mistake was inviting your friend to stay with you for 3 months. Did you once consider HER feelings about this situation. It's done though. Help out this YOUR son. It is NOT just HER job. WHAT you CAN'T clean up a house???You DON'T like clingy? It's her way of saying I love you. If she looses THAT then you're done. She has taken a full time job and one part time job AND school on-line to get herself so deeply involved with SOMETHING else other than dealing with the hurt you have caused. Did your "friend" try anything with her.? She didn't marry a drug addict and alcoholic. THAT was a huge strain on YOUR marriage. To backtrack and get her back will take alot of talking about HER (if she even wants to)and what she is feeling, being HONEST with herself. You may NOT like her answers. Are you man enough to just LISTEN to her first. Fixing it comes later. Good luck.