Do I Leave Him or just put up with it?

Question

I would like to hear your opinions please.

I have been going with my boyfriend for nearly 2 year now and i am currently 6 month pregnant with his baby.

The thing is he is really nice during the week but when a weekend comes its horrible. He always wants to go out on a weekend and never wants to do anything with me. he always says that we can't afford to do anything but then he will find away to go out and drink with his mates. as soon as his mates phone him hes up and out. and i get myself really upset about it because he could go out on a saturday morning and roll in Sunday morning. he sometimes says hes fell asleep on his mates couch which i believed at first but then when one of his best mates told me that he hadn't been home and had fallen alseep on that persons couch he actually stayed at another womens house. so now when my boyfriend says things like that I cant believe him and I did find out that in his past he did go with other women whilst having a girlfriend.

Also all of this is making me stressed and depressed because i he goes out knowing i cant go anywhere with having no money, i have tried to talk to to him about it a number of times but he just takes no notice.

Fair enough go out and have a couple of drinks with his mates but why stay out and give me hassel everytime he comes in. He can be really nasty its like hes a different person everyone keeps saying he will change when i have the baby but why should i have to put up with it until then and after all that waiting what if he doesnt change.

I just don't know what to do anymore I've tried talking to him and suggesting things to do together but he would just rather be with his friends on a weekend. we both work monday to friday and are too tired to do anything after work. We were off for 2 weeks at the beginning of August and he still wouldnt do anything.

I just feel fed up and trapped. do i leave him? if i do leave would i be able to cope on my own with the money problem and stuff. Well am saying money problem he gets paid £300 a week about sometimes even more. I get paid £700 a month and just pay the bills out of that and he buys the food shopping. if he cant afford to do anything how can he go to the town nightclubbing and spend over £200 its really getting me down.

how can i make this better i just havn't any clue what i can do. i dont think i could afford to live on £700 a month on my own but then i can't live like this anymore i'm not the funny loud person i used to be. i just don't no what to do.

Answer 1

You are already paying for all the bills so why not find a cheaper place for just you right now.  There are programs out to help you with food, child care and other things. So you need to look for them.  What you are going though is not good for you are the unborn baby. Maybe you could talk to your parents about staying with so you will have someone to help when the baby is born.  

Answer 2

oh definitely leave him.

Answer 3

Yes, I would say to leave him as well.  He sounds like he's immature and definitely does not want the responsibility of being committed to you and the baby.

Do you have any relatives that you could move in with?  Or friends?  I live in the U.S. and since you were calling your money pounds, I assume you live in Great Britain.  I don't know what type of social services programs are available in your country, but in many places here there are social programs to help working parents.  Such as all or partial coverage for daycare, some food expenses covered (mainly food for the baby), etc.  If you don't have a relative or friend that you could move in with, is there any type of social services which could help you?

But yes, I would definitely leave him if there is any way possible.  Or, could you have him move out and possibly find a roommate to help share expenses where you are currently living?  If it's a two bedroom unit, you could keep the baby in your bedroom and rent out the other room.  But be careful about whom you pick to share rent.

Anyway, good luck and I hope things work out well.

Answer 4

why dont you live with your parents for a while

Answer 5

Well, leave him.  It will be better for you and coming baby.

Answer 6

You need to find a way to leave him. I hope you have friends or family who can help you out. This guy is not going to get better when you have the baby. This guy is going to get worse. I hate to suggest it, but you could always give the baby up for adoption or leave it with him to raise and leave him. I wouldn't want to do it, but if you can't afford to live on your own and you don't have anyone to help you I can't see any other choices. You can't stay with this guy who is--for all intents and purposes--using you. Maybe if you start filling out paperwork to give up baby it will shock him into reality.?? It's a horrible suggestion--I'm sorry. Whatever you do, you need to leave him. It's not good for the baby to grow up seeing this example. The baby will either grow up to follow in daddy's footsteps or grow up to marry a user like him. Neither a charming choice. Think of your baby--do what is best for your baby.