Question:

Do I actually love either of them? A two part question.

by Guest57365  |  earlier

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There are actually two different areas to this question. They concern two girls who are such good friends they can legally be considered sisters. Both names are witheld for privacy issues.

The first is a girl I met two and half years ago. I remember the first time I saw her, I immediately thought she was the most beautiful in the entire world. I still do to this day. I always think about her when I'm feeling randy but used to quite frequently when I wasn't and still do alot. I don't find any other girl I've known to be as unconditional pretty, gorgeous or s**y as her. I want to have s*x with her more anybody else on the planet and would do anything to do so but I wouldn't leave her "the morning after" unless she told me to. I'd stay by her side as long as she wanted me to. I feel I would still be interested in the actual person she is even after having s*x with her. I only know her slightly and it's quite possible she may of forgotten who I am or not like me anymore because of what I did to the next girl I'm going to talk about. But I would really want to know her better and spend time with her. I even think her name is the most beautiful name ever. I really wish I could say more about her but I don't know her well enough. Is this lust, infatuation or love?

The second girl is her best friend who I met approximately nine months ago in an attempt to know the first better more as I had started working at the place she worked (for different reasons, mind). I usually get carried away whenever I write about her so forgive if this goes on for what seems like forever. I actually ended falling in love almost instantly with the second girl the first time after I talked to her. The one thing I love more than anything else in the world is music and she is the only person I've ever known that loves it as much as I do. We share common interests in a variety of other things. In fact, she's the only person I ever met I share anything in common with at all. Sometimes we chat online or talk on the phone, it last for hours on end. I don't find her sexually attractive at all and would be still happy for the rest of my life even if I was in a relationship with her and never saw her naked. I even love those little things I didn't like at first like her voice, that nose stud she always wears and her unbelievably large amount of spelling errors. But one day I found she started going out with a former good friend of mine. I tried not to let it phase me at first because I didn't want to be one of those teenagers depressed over love. Unfortunately, I couldn't stand it any longer and my heart broke into so many pieces, it could logically be categorised as dust. I never felt such a connection with any girl I'd ever known and most likely never will. Ever since I met her, I only ever think about her and nothing else. I could even go as far to say she might have been the one for me. But what made it worse is the guy she's dating now. I never actually really liked him in the first place, he was just in our group and I always knew I'd get lucky before him because truth to be told, he does look quite ugly and acts almost as strange as he looks. But after I found she was the one was the one who fell in love with him and asked him out, I've thought to myself that no girl is ever going to find me attractive or ask me out, ever and that I'm never going to be in any kind of relationship for the rest of my life. Eventually some time after my heart broke, I just became so jealous and bitter about them together I ended up being so depressed I never got out of bed. I cried myself to sleep on many occasions and sometimes get so angry, I lash out at everybody, including my parents and break stuff. I attempted suicide many times over her (and a seperate, unrelated issue which is irrelevant and will not be discussed) because I can't live with the pain she's given me. I told her how I feel completely and she's says she's very sorry about it but she will never love me, no matter what I do because I'm far too similar to her ex-boyfriend. The ironic thing about that though is I'm the exact opposite as I met the guy for an hour or so earlier this year and he's absolutely nothing like me. But she still wants be friends and she talks with me online very frequently and always hugs me when she sees me in real life. I can tell that she geniunely likes me and respects me but will never love me no matter what I do. And what I hate about all this is that the guy she's dating is very close to being her true love. Is this love or is it something worse?

I apologise if I went on for awhile but I really need to know what it is for these two girls because I feel if neither one of them loves me, then I will never find any sort of love for the rest of my life and die a very lonely person.

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3 ANSWERS


  1. Dude, this question is way too long.  No one is going to read all of that, but really, no one needs to.  Writing it all out will help YOU figure out the answer for yourself.  No one can tell you how you really feel - only you know that.  So you need to keep writing (in a journal, not on this site) and keep thinking about it until you figure out what YOU really feel.

    In general, don't read too much into every little word or sign from another person, because they can mean so many different things.  And don't expect people to give more than they have explicitly promised.


  2. Don't burn yourself out.  Everyone loves each other for different reasons.  There is no standard to love and don't let anybody tell you different.  You are in the position to go with any girl because you feel attractiveness to them in different ways.  That's great!  Just remember if one girl is dating someone else do not get involved with her.

  3. there is someone for everyone and you may think that your life is going to end if you dont have this one persons affection but i promise it wont, unless you end it. and thats not smart. the first girl seems as though she is more of an infatuation, someone you are just sexually intreged by. and the second girl, you should respect her decicion because if you dont that may ruin your friendship and possible future chances to be with her. if you let her see how good of a guy you are and how unlike her ex you are she may become available you may be the one she turns to.

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