There are actually two different areas to this question. They concern two girls who are such good friends they can legally be considered sisters. Both names are witheld for privacy issues.
The first is a girl I met two and half years ago. I remember the first time I saw her, I immediately thought she was the most beautiful in the entire world. I still do to this day. I always think about her when I'm feeling randy but used to quite frequently when I wasn't and still do alot. I don't find any other girl I've known to be as unconditional pretty, gorgeous or s**y as her. I want to have s*x with her more anybody else on the planet and would do anything to do so but I wouldn't leave her "the morning after" unless she told me to. I'd stay by her side as long as she wanted me to. I feel I would still be interested in the actual person she is even after having s*x with her. I only know her slightly and it's quite possible she may of forgotten who I am or not like me anymore because of what I did to the next girl I'm going to talk about. But I would really want to know her better and spend time with her. I even think her name is the most beautiful name ever. I really wish I could say more about her but I don't know her well enough. Is this lust, infatuation or love?
The second girl is her best friend who I met approximately nine months ago in an attempt to know the first better more as I had started working at the place she worked (for different reasons, mind). I usually get carried away whenever I write about her so forgive if this goes on for what seems like forever. I actually ended falling in love almost instantly with the second girl the first time after I talked to her. The one thing I love more than anything else in the world is music and she is the only person I've ever known that loves it as much as I do. We share common interests in a variety of other things. In fact, she's the only person I ever met I share anything in common with at all. Sometimes we chat online or talk on the phone, it last for hours on end. I don't find her sexually attractive at all and would be still happy for the rest of my life even if I was in a relationship with her and never saw her naked. I even love those little things I didn't like at first like her voice, that nose stud she always wears and her unbelievably large amount of spelling errors. But one day I found she started going out with a former good friend of mine. I tried not to let it phase me at first because I didn't want to be one of those teenagers depressed over love. Unfortunately, I couldn't stand it any longer and my heart broke into so many pieces, it could logically be categorised as dust. I never felt such a connection with any girl I'd ever known and most likely never will. Ever since I met her, I only ever think about her and nothing else. I could even go as far to say she might have been the one for me. But what made it worse is the guy she's dating now. I never actually really liked him in the first place, he was just in our group and I always knew I'd get lucky before him because truth to be told, he does look quite ugly and acts almost as strange as he looks. But after I found she was the one was the one who fell in love with him and asked him out, I've thought to myself that no girl is ever going to find me attractive or ask me out, ever and that I'm never going to be in any kind of relationship for the rest of my life. Eventually some time after my heart broke, I just became so jealous and bitter about them together I ended up being so depressed I never got out of bed. I cried myself to sleep on many occasions and sometimes get so angry, I lash out at everybody, including my parents and break stuff. I attempted suicide many times over her (and a seperate, unrelated issue which is irrelevant and will not be discussed) because I can't live with the pain she's given me. I told her how I feel completely and she's says she's very sorry about it but she will never love me, no matter what I do because I'm far too similar to her ex-boyfriend. The ironic thing about that though is I'm the exact opposite as I met the guy for an hour or so earlier this year and he's absolutely nothing like me. But she still wants be friends and she talks with me online very frequently and always hugs me when she sees me in real life. I can tell that she geniunely likes me and respects me but will never love me no matter what I do. And what I hate about all this is that the guy she's dating is very close to being her true love. Is this love or is it something worse?
I apologise if I went on for awhile but I really need to know what it is for these two girls because I feel if neither one of them loves me, then I will never find any sort of love for the rest of my life and die a very lonely person.
Tags: