Do I confront my mother in law?

Question

OK, first this is complicated so get ready.

My mom and my mother in law, and father in law, worked together for about 2 or 3 years. At about year 3 they both realize they have kids the same age and set my now husband and I up. We get married ...Great happy little story right?

The next year, another son of hers works at the same place ( yeah i know..to manny family members in one place) TO make it more interesting...my dad is on the BOARD there but doesn't work there.

ANWAY..so one year the brother in law is fired...my mom was AT the meeting but was asked to leave it because of the sensitive nature...dad HAD to stay in the meeting b/c he was chairman. They refuse to tell me what went on...I don't agree with how it was handled, but brother in law gets a letter in the mail...don't come back next year.

Obviously (and understandably) mom and mom in law are very awkward around each other at work for the next 2 years.Mom can't take the wierdness, and wants to try to make things better, so she quits. Dad quit the board last year. In the meantime my husband and I have 2 babies.

So now 3 years later after the incident brother in law has found a new job, has married, and is doing fine....talks to my mom and dad like there's no problem...they've moved on.

Mom in law hasn't...what breaks my heart is that they used to be so close,,,now i can't even get her to be mom's friend on facebook.

Mom in law has a list of about 5-6 people she has TOLD me she doesn't like...3 of them are the moms/grandmothers of the other wives in the family (one is her own mother in law)...so i'd let it go...she just doesn't like inlaws...BUT she gets along great with me. Lately however she's even buddied up to 2 of those inlaws.

Do I ask her to try and move on? She won't even go somewhere if she knows mom will be there...she's "busy"...My daughter will be turning 3 and my son will be turning 1 in November...I wanted to just have 2 BIG parties...not 4!!!

Final twist...this past year ANOTHER son was fired from the same place BOTH MY PARENTS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS ONE ( i don't know why they still work there) and I work there now.

Answer 1

You all should get in a room and talk it out. This is the only way to get rid of this awkwardness.This way you can all say what you feel without having to go back and forth.  

Answer 2

Oh honey you poor thing, you are completely in the middle.  Get them all together and say, hey this is it, lets get things back the way they were.

We are Family, and families unite.  

Good Luck.

Answer 3

You can't control your MIL. You can, however, refuse to pander to it. Tell her that you love her, but you will not continue to have double parties just so she doesn't have to be in the same room with your Mom. Plan the parties and be extra sweet when you invite her. Tell her you really want her to be there. Then it's up to her.

Her response to this may be to throw a party herself. I would only go along with this so long as it doesn't clash with your plans, and you don't have to do any of the work. Hopefully, over time, she'll get tired of it and just decide to come to your party.

Just stay out of the middle of this, or you'll end up in a battle with both of them.

Answer 4

So slap both of them. Tell them they neither of them get to see the grandchildren until they sort out their differences.

Yes, you can do that.