Do I dare tell dear Egbert, my wedded husband of 40 years, of my forbidden desires?

Question

I do believe I have the vapors! It is a stifling heat and I feel not myself. It is as if a foreign being has invaded and I do not know of what I am anymore. These petticoats are oppressive and they chafe me in this sweltering weather. From my picture window I can see Alphonso, the Latin gardner, at his toil. He works with a brute force that frightens yet excites me. Dear, dear Egbert is so effete. His uncalloused hands have never known a day's work from the sweat of his brow. Can I woman truly desire such a milquetoast? I love him, but there is a q***r yearning for something which consumes, burns...What to do, dear readers?

Answer 1

You're just having your menopause. Just chill.

Answer 2

Stand infront of the window with your petticoat open and see what Alphonso does. Watch Alphonso with Egbert, he may already be hitting that if he's that hot! It's always the quiet one's that are freaks, Egbert's probably waiting for some kinky threesome with him too.

Answer 3

well my dear it would seem you should tell your lord over a banquet of cream rolls and tea to calm each of ones nerves, tell your beloved how you feel and the future will behold your answer. will Egbert experiment with your fantasies and prove you as a content maiden or love you for the deed and leave you as a skeleton hanging under the star cupboard.....only father time shall behold.

if your beloved does not agree with your wish try to grant him one of his own. My Arthur loved to take it out on our 12 year old daughter Wendy. he says he loved 12 year old little girls you can hear their bones crack when one puts his p***s in.

Answer 4

are you for real what the h**l is wrong with you crazy lady? This sounds like something out of a book.

Answer 5

To the souls desires the body listens, but what the flesh requires keeps the heart imprisoned.

Answer 6

i dont know but you are a good writer

Answer 7

Ooooh you lucky thing you. Try role play. It's not the easiest thing to approach after such a long time together, but next time your ... feeling that way, try to fulfill his fantasies first. School girls, nurses, you get the idea. If you don't know what it is, talk to him. There is no greater turn on than talking about exactly that.

Please, do enjoy. And when you're done, send your gardener over!

Answer 8

Dear Egbert has been having an affair with Alphonso for years - why not broach the subject and see if you can make it a threesome? :)

Answer 9

Put on your best pantaloons and ask him to trim your unsightly bush.

Answer 10

thats heavy doc, as someone who works on other peoples properties (OPP) I feel very uncomfortable when older ladies are gaulking at me all day... but i can say i do have a special spot in my heart for those who bring out baked goods and beverages ;-)

sorry if i misunderstood but u kinda sound like Mark Twain.

Answer 11

Omg

Sounds like a soap opera written by Oscar Wilde where the star is a golden girl

Answer 12

My dear prudence, of what rock did you crawl out from under?  Or have you invented a glorious time machine and traveled to the future from 1879?  

Rip off that petticoat and grab Alphonso by the suspenders and bend him over a milking stool and have your way with him.  If your yearnings are q***r, then maybe it's Hilda that should be over the milking stool.