Do I have a right to find out who my mother's birth parents are?

Question

My mother was adopted. She does not want to find out who her birth parents are. Both of her adoptive parents have passed on.

I would like to find out more about our heritage. Am I allowed to find out information without my mom's permission, since she doesn't want to know?

Answer 1

Yes you do unless the birth parents said no. There are birth parents who say they dont ever want to be found.

Answer 2

My nfather was adopted by his stepfather and had/has no interest in finding him. I have found out pretty much the whole family history, including medical information without directly contacting anyone from that family. Searching for nfamily doesnt mean you have to contact them directly if its not something all parties want. Its your history too!

Answer 3

You should have some rights to some information.  I think you can talk to an agency and they can find out where your mother lives.

Answer 4

Well you can certainly do your own search.  However any sort of documents from the agency that placed her,  that your mother could likely get if she did a search or if her birthparents searched for her would likely not be available to you or anyone except the birthparent and birthchild.  If you had any information on her birth parents names, etc  You could search with that. Then again you must think do you really want to go behind your mothers back?  What if you did find her birthparents then what?  Would you want a relationship with them? Would you just want to get some information medical/ heritages etc. Your mother might feel deeply betrayed even more if she is at peace and finds no need to find her birthparents.

Answer 5

i understand what you are saying. it's your family too and you would like to know them even if your mother doesn't. that's actually kinda cool. You will have a hard time only because it's just a hard process but if you want to there is no law that says you can't look for them. I have heard of cases where the children wanted to find relatives as a suprize for their parents and were successful. i wich you well wth your search. what your mother doesn't know won't hurt her. later she may find that she wants to find them and then you can connect them if she would like. alot of adoptees go through a period of not wanting to know and then later on in life decide they want to.

Answer 6

Just my personal opinion, and I don't know what the law says on this, but I believe everyone should have the right to know who their ancestors are. You don't have the right to bug them if they don't want anything to do with you, but if you are of legal age, you should be allowed to know.

Answer 7

Your mother was the one who was adopted.  If she does not want to know, you should respect her wishes.  You can always research this later in life after your mother passes on if she never wants to know.  It should be her decision.

Answer 8

no you do not have that right and need to respect her!

Let me add this to all of you who are saying that the child of the adopted person has the right to know...that is wrong, wrong, wrong!  What the mother does not know can and will hurt her.  If your mother has expressed to you that she does not want to know then you need to leave it alone.  She is the one that is adopted.  She has grown up this way and has a totally different understanding of it than you can ever have.  Please respect your mother and leave it alone.  What might be curiousity to you is something way more than that to her or she would have already searched for them.