Do I have to accept that I can never be happy with my friends again?

Question

My ex-boyfriend that I went out with for a year is now totally embedded in my group of friends. Everyone loves him because he's so funny and happy all the time. The only person that doesn't want him around is me. We broke up for a lot of reasons, most of them had to do with him hurting my feelings all the time.

Anyway, he's always had a thing for my best friend, but he never does anything about it. He just always looks at her and acts like he used to act when he first started to like me. It really hurts my feelings. I've talked to him about it countless times and he always says he doesn't even like her and he's going to stop, but he never does stop.

Now whenever i'm with my friends i feel sad and angry and i can never have a good time. No one ever talks to me because they're all so focused on him. I can't kick him out of the group because they'll all wonder where he is. I've basically accepted that i can never have fun with my friends anymore as long as he's there.

What can I do?

Answer 1

well if you kick him out and they all wonder where he is, - let them wonder. Tell them what he's doing and how it makes you uncomfortable. Groups are hard because opinions and sides aren't always unanimous. I would maybe pick a few people out of the group to pull aside and talk to, when you talk about issues like that in a group (that he's in) - it will be harder and you won't get sympathy/taken seriously.

-And your real friends will stick by you.  

Answer 2

I sort of know the feeling and it hurts to have to keep hanging around with your ex in the picture.  Speaking from experience, the thing that helped me deal the best was to find a new lover.  Try and find one that is cuter, and treats you better.  That way you can bring him around your ex and all your friends and show him off.  Make your ex squirm for a little while, although he doesn't show it, I bet he'll get a bit jealous if you start bringing someone new around and act like you like him better than you ever did your ex.  Us guys have such fragile egos you know.  You might even be able to drive your ex off if you do a good enough job of acting happy with your new man.  I bet your ex will even have trouble being "funny" with the new guy around.  Give it a try!  Good luck.