Do I have to invite my future step-mother in law to my bridal shower?

Question

We don't get along very well, and she and my future MIL are not on good terms. She won't know anyone at the shower and I really don't want her there. My mom thinks that I should invite her. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

I would say yes.

Answer 2

We are always thinking about what everyone else wants we totally forget about ourselves.

I think that is one area that we as women need to work on. Remember, your feelings ranks higher than anyone else's opinion. I know that this may sound selfish but it is true. We are all responsible for our own lives so live yours to the fullest. So, weigh the pros and cons of her being there. Also, don't worry about what your MIL thinks about her too. Only think about the relationship you have with her.

If you think it's inappropriate for her to be there based on the relationship between you and your SMIL then she doesn't need to be there BUT if you personally don't have a problem with her then invite her. Let your MIL and your SMIL work their problems out between themselves and make sure you stay out of it.

I know when you first get married one of the most important things to a bride is to get along with her MIL. Just don't loose yourself in her opinions of other people. If you chose to invite her you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you chose not to invite her you still don't owe anyone an explanation. Remember, let the MIL and SMIL sort out their own problems and it's nice to know their opinions but base decisions on how YOU feel not on how others feel.

Answer 3

What does your future FIL think? Would he be upset? Are you having 10 guests or 40? If it's small then I think it's okay to exclude her. If you are inviting a lot of non-relatives then I think you will need to invite her.

Answer 4

If you're inviting your mother in law, then you should invite your step-mother in law. Who knows, maybe she won't show up anyway since she won't know anyone there.

Answer 5

What does your future husband think?

You're probably better off taking the high road and inviting her.  Maybe she won't come if she knows your future MIL will be there.  Anyway, you should be busy enough that you don't have much to do with her.  

She will be a part of your life for a long time so it's best to get along with her as well as possible.

Answer 6

yes..sorry...i know... :(   think of it this way..it is just not worth dealing with all the back fire..easier just to invite her...do it for your future husband so HE doesnt have to deal with the backfire...trust me..i have been married since 96 and there are so many boundaries you are going to HAVE to draw (especially when kids come...we have four) so pick your battles!!

Answer 7

If you don't invite her, you are already starting your marriage off on a bad start with his family.  Suck it up and invite her....she may or may not attend.  You can ask her if there is anyone else from the list of wedding invites that she would like you to invite (if you are inviting his sides family friends, cousins, grandparents, etc) so that she has someone to talk to at the shower.

Answer 8

I don't see why you should ..

If they can be civil with each other and she truly cares and loves you and supports you then she's invited. Otherwise, spend the precious celebrations with people who truly care.

All the best.