Do I have to invite them ALL?

Question

My maternal grandmother is one of twelve children, a couple of which have died in the last couple years. One brother of hers in particular is in really bad health and it is not safe for him to travel, so I wouldn't want him to feel it necessary to come. I am only familiar with three of them (the ill one not included), and of that three, I am only close to one. She too is closest to that three. Would it be horribly rude of me to only invite those three?

My fiance' and I are trying to keep our wedding as small as possible, and strangers--even related by blood--wouldn't aid the atmosphere of close friends and family.

Answer 1

You may not like my answer on this one.

How does your grandma feel about you not inviting all of her brothers and sisters? Would she be upset? If so, maybe you should invite them if it won't break your budget or put you at too many guests as more of a courtesy invite and more for your grandma than for anyone. Chances are these people won't come anyway but at least you wont have a grandma with hurt feelings. I personally would send them a courtesy invite if it doesn't break your budget or cause you not to invite someone you are closer to.

However, if your grandma doesn't mind, then just invite whoever you want.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Ultimately, it has to be the decision of you and your fiancee.

Answer 2

No, you do not have to invite them.  My grandmother has 3 sisters - I only know one of them.  I did invite them & had hoped they would attend, but they weren't able to.  The other 2 sisters I have only met maybe once, do not stay in touch with & they live out of state.  

I felt sending an invitation would be more rude as it would look gift grabby.

Answer 3

Personally I think an invite needs to be sent out to every cousin, uncle, aunt, grandparent - not great aunts or uncles. So if you are trying to keep it small, only invite people that will be happy to see you both getting married and sharing in your moment/day.

Answer 4

Absolutely, just invite those 3. Send a wedding announcement to the others.  You might also consider sending the brother in poor health a personal letter letting him know of the wedding, and that, given his health, you didn't think it wise to invite him.  I'm doing something of the sort for my great-aunt who is 83 and bedridden.

Answer 5

I agree.  Its called a courtesy invitation.  You invite them to be courteous, even though they probably won't come. :)  You don't want to upset anyone.

Answer 6

When i made the gust list for my wedding i only invited people i was close to and had regular contact with. I am of the opinion that a wedding is a very personal and special event to be celebrated with close friends and family, people who mean something to you. There were many family members i did not invite because i barely knew them or didn't really have regular contact with them. Family or not, i didn't want virtual strangers sharing my special day. For example I am pretty close to my great aunt who has 3 kids. I invited her and only one of her daughters because i barely even know the other  two. I thought inviting them would be like saying "Hey i don't really know you/never speak to you, but come watch me get married and bring me a present." I didn't think it would be appropriate.

Remember, It's your day and you have the right to include and not include whomever you wish!

Answer 7

I don't see anything wrong with not inviting them...but just send them an invite...it only 3 other people if they even choose to go.

Answer 8

invite who you want

Answer 9

i would invite them all. invitations aren't obligations. you are simply inviting his company, if he is well enough to travel.

by excluding him on the basis that you THINK he won't come, you are risking hurting his feelings.

there were people at our wedding that i was meeting for the first time as we made the rounds and i wouldn't say that it made the atmosphere less intimate and personal.

Answer 10

Don't toil over this. Invite who you want. If people love you they will understand. It gets EXPENSIVE, can you afford to go through the formality just to be polite?? This day is about you and your husband, no one else.

Answer 11

I would send them an invitation. They probably won't come, but it is only respectful to send one to at least attempt to include them

Answer 12

No, you don't have to invite all those siblings.  Feel free to invite the one you are close with and leave it at that.

Answer 13

If I were you I would invite all or none at all, I say this cause if you choose a few the others may be offended! they are Family so why not? BTW CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

Answer 14

I don't think there's anything rude about inviting just the family members you're close to when they're that far removed (great aunts and uncles). It would be a different story if they were aunts and uncles.

That said, it is still possible that you might wind up with some hurt feelings.

Answer 15

Invite those three only.

Good luck