Do I have to invite them to the wedding?

Question

I started a new job on the first week of June. Me and my fiance have been planning our wedding since last year. We are getting married in January of 2009. We have already sent 'save the dates' to the people we are planning to invite. Which is alot already. Do I have to, out of ettiquitecy (opps, yeah, it's a misspell), invite my co-workers and boss? It's August, I have known them for 2 1/2 months...do I have to invite them?

Answer 1

Hi and congratuations!

Well, it's only August now....but by January, you will have known them for 7 months.  

I don't know if this is a full-time job or not...but, if it is full-time....then you spend 40 hours a week with these people.  I'm sure you will get to know them a lot more between now and January.

If you can't afford to invite all of them, I would definitely invite your boss and his/her spouse.  If you like your job and can afford to invite all of them, then I would.

Answer 2

I would say unless you are close with these people and associate outside of work on a regular basis, then don't invite them.

Answer 3

Only invite them if their your friends, you don't have to invite your co-workers & boss.

Answer 4

Your boss, yes. For others, wait til you are ready to send out your invitations and see if there are any coworkers you are getting closer to. You don't have to invite them all, or any.

Answer 5

I wouldn't.

It would be awkward for them and you.

If any co-workers are also friends, invite them only.

Answer 6

Not at all.  I've been working in the same place for just over 6 years and I didn't invite my bosses or any co-workers to my wedding.  We don't socialize outside of work.  We did invite my husbands bosses and a few co-workers although I didn't fully agree with it, but we do socialize with them outside of work a little.  So I just gave in rather then start a huge fight.

Answer 7

You don't have to.  I would wait until you send out invites to make the decision.  You probably won't send invites out until June.  That way you can wait and see if you get close to them.  Not everyone needs a save the date.

If it's a destination wedding, Iwouldn't invite them.

Answer 8

It's not required to invite boses and coworkers to your wedding.  Plus, if you're close to some coworkers and want to invite them, you are not obligated to invite everyone else.  This is your day and you should invite who you want, typically those you are close to.

I started a new job this past January and got married in June.  I like my coworkers well enough but the only person I invited was one person that I am close to but I used to work with her at my former job.

Take care!

Answer 9

No you don't have to invite them.  I have been at my job for 21 years and there are only 8 of us in the whole company and I am still not inviting any of them to the wedding.  Our wedding is small only 36 guests and besides all that I like to keep my work self and my home self separate... sorta like seinfeld... work george and home george...they can't meet or the universe as I know it will come to an end!  J/K but seriously... I don't mix business and pleasure.

Answer 10

No.  You're not obligated to invite people to your wedding just because you work with them!  Invite who you want to be there witnessing your special day!

Answer 11

No...invite who you want...

Congrats...

I'm getting married January 31, 2009

Answer 12

No, you do not have to - especially only being there for 2 1/2 months.

I would only invite any co-workers that you actually spend time with outside of work.  If there is anyone like this, I would ask them to not openly discuss being invited in the office - it causes "why them and not me" issues.  

Hopefully most people understand that weddings are expensive and not something you can invite everyone to.

Answer 13

No, you don't have to invite them.  It wouldn't even be expected.  If anybody, extend an invite to your boss, but I wouldn't expect him or her to accept.

Answer 14

no you don't have to invite them.

Answer 15

I wouldn't worry about inviting them.  

Answer 16

I went through this same sort of thing a few months back when we sent out our invites, only I've worked at my job for 3 years. haha! I came to this realization. Invite EVERYONE. Your wedding is far enough away that you will more than likely develop stronger relationships with your co-workers than you have now and rather than race at the end to try to fit them in you're better off taking care of it now. Regardless of what people say, it is human nature to want to be included. Give them the option to decide. If they want to attend they will if not they won't. A girl at our office got married a few weeks ago and only invited select people. There were those who never would have attended, but it was because they didn't get invited that they felt the right to "talk s***" and talk they did. Save yourself the trouble and invite them. You'll feel better about it in the end. Hope this helps!!!

Answer 17

u don't have to, but i definetely recommend u do. especially ur boss. it shows that u respect him and probably he'll get mad if u don't. but if u have no more space, it isn't like the end of the world if u don't.

well, that's what i think. i'm 13 anyway, so u probably shouldn't listen to me..haha.

but good luck on ur wedding! may u and ur future husband live happily ever after :)

alice c..

Answer 18

They all know when you're getting married.  You don't have to send 'save the date' cards because they are saving the date in their heads.  Wait and see how close you are with them in December, when it's time to send out the invites.

Answer 19

I think the etiquette books say you're supposed to invite your boss, but in this situation I don't think you should. He/she may think it's weird to get an invitation to a wedding of an employee they barely know. I invited my boss to my wedding and he didn't come, mainly because he felt uncomfortable fraternizing with his employees.

As far as your other co-workers, absolutely not. Anyone who has planned a wedding knows how expensive it is. If you have gotten particularly close with one or two of your coworkers, just explain that the hall only holds x*x guests and you've already invited the max, and only if they seem to be hinting around for an invite. Personally I would never expect an invitation to a coworkers wedding, especially if they had only been working there a few months.

Answer 20

Oops.  This is just one of the risks of  STD cards for a regular wedding.  They are wonderful for destination weddings.

You should probably invite your boss and perhaps anyone that work particularly close with - a project partner, etc., for good brownie points (and they may not even come - they've only known you a short time as well)  But really, it's quite okay if you don't.

However, if you don't -  then just please be extremely discreet about your wedding.  Your co-workers don't need to hear ANYTHING regarding the planning.  They should almost forget you are getting married. For all they know it could just be the two of you at City Hall.  And certainly they should not be invited to any showers, etc.

Answer 21

Nope!

Just make sure they aren't invited to any showers, parties, etc (unless of course they decide to host one for you).  

I also wouldn't chatter too much about the wedding plans while at the office just so there are no hurt feelings, but you have no obligation to invite your co-workers unless you feel close enough that you WANT to.

Answer 22

no you dont.  however, part of keeping your end of the deal here is to be discreet and private about your plans and private life. it is a little tedious to hear someone talk every day about their wedding, or, any other big party and find out that you were not invited to it.  keep work talk more about work subjects.  that is the best policy of all.

if you do become close to someone and find yourself discussing your wedding with this person as a close friend, that would be nice if you included them.  

Answer 23

No of course not. It's your wedding, and that's what you have to keep reminding yourself throughout the planning. Just tell yourself "it's my wedding." Because it is YOUR wedding and no one else's, you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to.