Do I just let this go (teacher situation)?

Question

My 7 year old daughter for the most part is well behaved and caring. Today she got in trouble at school but, I don't think it was completely justified.

She called one of her classmates "fat" after the girl was kicking her around the playground and just plain annoying her. I even saw it with my own eyes when I came to pick my daughter up. The girl kept stealing my daughter's hat.

The teacher made my daughter apologize to the girl. Now I know my daughter shouldn't be calling anyone names but, at the same time if you annoy or hurt someone then you will get something back. I'm overweight myself so, I know my daughter wasn't saying such a hurtful thing out of spite..she was just fed up!

I told her that she has to tell the teacher if someone is kicking her but, she said the teacher would say she was being a tattletale. I know the teacher does indeed call the children this when they "tell" on someone because my eldest daughter had the same teacher last year.

Continued...

Answer 1

sounds like the teacher just cant be arsed getting involved seen as tho she is leaving pretty soon herself... the other child will stillbe there to taunt your little one... go to a more senior member of staff or the head as once a bully always a bully and your child comes 1st ... or speak to the parents of the other child x good luck x

Answer 2

Talk to the parent of the girl.

Answer 3

Well you cant do anything now the time has gone by to tell. And truly i went to a private school pretty much my whole life and this has happened to me often you just really have to try to respect the teacher. I know it is hard but it is probally the best for u and ur daughter.

Answer 4

I would let it go.

The reason?  This is typical for schools.  Kids get bullied, they retaliate, and the bully goes crying to the teacher.  The victim then gets punished.  The victims parent complains.

Instead of talking to the the teacher, help your child learn how not to be bullied.  This organizationhttp://www.kidpower.org/ has an amazing book to help you teach your child skills for taking care of herself.  They also run classes.  Check them out.

Be well.

Answer 5

i would have a sit down talk with the principal, the teacher and the child and there parents as well. if none of the party want this going to the board will help. i for one do not like teachers that act that way they became a teacher for a reason. if they don't like all there students then they need to find a new Carree, that's why most students don't like school.

Answer 6

Did you tell the teacher your thoughts on the matter? I think you know your daughter the best, but I'd just go along with it...and teach her to always be the better person.  It does sound like she was being picked on but it is a tough situation.  It probably made the bully very happy to see her getting in trouble.  It's a tough situation all around.  I would make an issue if this kid keeps picking on your daughter.

Answer 7

I wouldn't let it go, I'm just that way. I'd tell the principle. A teacher is someone that children NEED to trust. If a child was being abused at home, this teacher would be the last person a child would confide in and could be the only other person that a child is with, other than the abuser.

She is WRONG for calling them tattletale. That just makes children NOT confide in her.

The incident with your daughter never would have happened if she had felt she could go to the (and I use this word loosely) only adult around and get something done.

For the sake of other children, I'd "tattletale" on her.

Answer 8

I would definitely confront the teach, best bet is to set up a meeting with the teacher and principal that way she knows you mean business. Tell her what you just said, that you don't think she's help the children.  I know there's only four weeks left but it's the right thing to do, because more children will have her next year. Best of luck and remember, always stand up for what is right. :-)

Answer 9

you need to speak to the teacher, i would suggest you do it without your daughter being there as you don't want you daughter to think you are having a go at the teacher on her behalf.  She may have a new teacher next year but she still has this teacher for 4 more weeks.  I

Answer 10

I don't think you should exactly punish your daughter for calling a name out of anger that someone brought out of her. Just a simple reminder that it hurts feelings and that two wrongs don't make it right. Also, you must keep telling her that she needs to tell or get an adults help before getting so angry, despite this teacher. As well, I would be having a meeting with this teacher and explain to her the rules and rights of children. She might need a refreshers class. Just love your child and they will love too. Also teach your child to love the enemy because one day the enemy will love too. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

Answer 11

yes i would let it go.....save it for a bigger battle

Answer 12

The same thing happened to me in 9th grade and it still burns me. Some boys were harrassing me and making fun of me (pretty much the whole class) because I was a shy, sensitive girl who actually liked school. Eventually I got fed up and called one of them a b*****d. The teacher made me apologize to the boy but never made the boy apologize.

I think that it's an impt life lesson to learn that conflict takes 2 sides and is rarely one person's fault. Both should always apologize and talk things through if we expect them to handle adult conflicts in a healthy manner. Yes, I think it would be worth it to explain your concerns to the teacher, especially since physical abuse should never be tolerated, "tattletale" or not. I bet the principal would be interested to hear this if the teacher doesn't respond.

Answer 13

The tattletale thing is no joke. She needs coping skills to deal with being bullied by the kicking girl.

One tip is to simply stroll over to the playground supervisor and ask what time it is. Then ask how much longer they have for recess. Then talk about something else -- spelling words or the weather or learning how to tell time or whatever. I guarantee, the kicking girl isn't going to attack right in front of the playground supervisor, and your daughter isn't a tattletale, either. If she has to do it every day, sooner or later, the playground supervisor is going to start watching for your daughter to see what's going on with her and other kids.

Answer 14

Do you know that the other girl didn't have some form of punishment?

It may be that she has a known issue, and it's being dealt with privately. If I were you I would have a word with the teacher, tell her what the situation is, and ask her how she recommends your daughter should deal with being kicked by this child.

Answer 15

If talking to the principal is not an option, then I suggest you let it go with the teacher.  People like that will not listen to reason so it will just be a waste of breath.  As to your dealings with your daughter I say you were right I do allow my daughters to defend themselves.

Answer 16

Well I think thats riddiculous the teacher has screwed up so badly how can she give the fear of telling the truth into the children at such a young age i mean what happens if they see there classmates in later life commit a serious crime or stab someone.

Will they keep quiet about it so they dont look like a weasel or a "taddletail"

Go to the head of the school raise this issue its idiotic