Do I need to change my parenting style?

Question

My son is 11 weeks old. I started with attachment parenting. He sleeps with us, feeds on demand and has his every cry attended to immediately. This has been working out great for us until lately.

Lately he has been suckling for comfort and then spitting up TONS of my milk when he's done. He will not take a pacifier - no matter how long I try to get him to take it.

He has also been wanting to nurse for comfort during times when its just not possible for me to attach him for a half hour to an hour. If it were to feed him, fine.. but he just wants to nurse to sleep.

He will not fall asleep unless he is nursing.

He will not take a bottle - not matter how hungry he is. He just cries and will not take it. Like I said, he has been only nursed, so he doesnt know how to suck from a bottle.

I think I need to change my parenting style, but Im not sure. Will this stage end? Is it a stage? Now that hes almost 3 months old, should I stop coddling him? I need some real advice from experienced mothers.

Answer 1

You need to stop the co sleeping as soon as possible because you are starting big problems for yourself. All your doing is setting your elf up for a baby which will refuse to sleep in there bed. Put him in his cot to sleep from now on because even though it is far less convenient when breast feeding your saving yourself from a having a child that refuses to sleep on there own.

With bottle feeding you need to get someone else to offer the bottle because your baby can smell your milk and will refuse the bottle not because he can't suck it its just that he wants to breastfeed. You need to take him off the breast just before he falls asleep and put him in his cot. He will cry but it easier to teach an 11 week old to self sooth than a 10 month old.  He will cry when you put him in his cot but just comfort him and put straight back in the cot. Tough it out for a couple of nights and he will learn to sleep alone in his cot and without needing to feed to sleep. Bad habits need to be broken as early as possible because the older the baby get the more determined they get and the harder it is to break bad habits

Answer 2

If you want to try using a bottle there is a great one called Breastflow. I am not sure of the brand but it is available at babies r us. He may not take formula because it has a different taste, not as sweet. So try pumping and giving it to him in a bottle. Also try a few types of pacifiers, there were some brands my daughter loved and others she wouldnt even try to suck at.  

Answer 3

as far as him spitting up, it sounds like he might be getting too much too fast. It also sounds alot like reflux, they want to "snack" alot because it is soothing to their throats. I really don't recommend changing your style. before I had my daughter I was against attachment parenting I thought it was coddling and would be bad for her. I think I was very wrong. they NEED us. It's our job to provide what they need. my lactation consultant did tell me that sometimes with some babies you may have to nurse for and hour to hour and half to make sure the baby gets what they need. My daughter doesnt do that very often, there was a week or two where I swear she ate all day long every day. I think she was having a growth spurt. She also likes to nurse for comfort. I figure she will only need me for so long I will give her what she needs. They'll be married and having babies of their own if we blink so I would take advantage of this now if you can.

I don't know what your doing all day, I am a stay at home mom with just her so other than the vaccuming not getting done or the dishes sitting there for a day, I can put it off and take care of her. My overall opinion, you can't coddle a 3 mo old. Give him what he needs/wants. all their wants at this age are needs.

Answer 4

I've gone through what your dealing with.Your son isn't going to take a pacifier anymore. If he is used to your breast, then he's not going to take it. Maybe in the future but right now, he wants your nipple.

when he wants to suck for comfort: you should get him to eat (whatever much he needs) and then take yourself away from him. try patting his butt to give him comfort when he is suppose to take a nap.

the only other think that i can think of is to pump yourself empty and gie him your breast if he wants comfort. i did it before with my other son and it kept him lached on for 30 mins or so. (wasnt my best idea) but if it'll keep the baby content then it'll keep me happy.

when it comes to nap time, I usually let my baby feed and if he is sleeping then all i do is pull myself out. if he's still awake, i either put him down on the bed or i carry him and pat his butt for him to fall asleep. it works for me.

my son wouldn't take bottles either. it's hard for a baby to switch from breast to bottle. its confusing for the baby. the bottle nipple, in my opinion, is not like the breast no matter how much the company says it is.

i didnt change my parenting style and i'm stressfree with feeding. i think some of my advise is kind of confusing but email me if you need me to clear some up.

Answer 5

if how things are going arent working for you then maybe you should change a few things.

you dont need to though, that is completley up to you.

have you tried expressing a bit of breast milk onto a pacifier and seeing if he would take it then?