Do I need to get an attorney?? I want to but can’t afford it! Child Custody in CA

Question

I would like to apologize in advance for this being so long. Here it goes. Me and my ex husband agreed on 51/49 custody (with me having 51 percent) when the divorce became final over a year ago (we've been separated for over 2 1/2 years). They used to spend one week with me and go to his house the following week. There was no child support involved. We agreed to split all costs in half with regard to our three children (sports fees, school lunches, clothes, etc). It worked out o.k. in the very beginning but now has become a royal pain. I end up shelling out the full amount and waiting for him to give me half back and then he tells my kids I'm always asking him for money!! In addition to that he works 12 hr. shifts (which means he has 3 days off one week and 4 days off the next) which wasn't too bad when we was working the day shift but now it's changed to nights (6pm-6am). With the kids going to school there is no way for him to watch them for more than 1 1/2 hrs. a day on the days he works (they get home from school at 3:30pm and he leaves to work at 4:45pm until the next morning), so I requested that instead of him having them all week that he only have them on his days off on his week with them. He does not want to agree to this and wants to keep them every other week even if they are only in daycare. I have them 80 percent of the time right now because as soon as he got served the paperwork that I was requesting a schedule change (back in May) he said the paperwork said 'pending hearing date'. I told him that it was not granted or ordered by the court yet and that I was requesting that the schedule change for when he goes to night shift (which just started in July). He dropped them off anyway, which was fine with me, but I've received no child support since then and my daycare expenses has doubled not to mention food costs etc. I can't really afford an attorney so I've been having everything done by a paralegal. My question is, when I go to court will it be pretty obvious that the change in parenting schedule is in the best interest of the children or does he have a case to keep them 49 percent of the time even if he's not home?? Also please keep in mind his schedule can change every couple of months from night to days etc. so I am looking to provide a more stable routine for the kids (like they have during my week with them). I work 8:30-5:00 and am home every evening and weekends to help them with homework, etc. I thought it was pretty obvious that they should be in my care if he's not going to be available to care for them and thought he would agree to it but now he's fighting it because he doesn't want to pay any child support (we make about the same amount of money). Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Oh, my children are 8, 10 and 15 and I think he is expecting my 15 y/o to baby sit the little ones overnight! Not a good idea since she's a boy crazy soon to be sophomore in high school. He does have a live-in girlfriend but she works nights too and goes to school.

Answer 1

You're right.  This is to much to read.  Go see a lawyer.

Answer 2

Really you dont need an Attorney and since a Paralegal can only prepare the documents for you what you need to do is educate yourself on child custody strategies and in turn tell your Para. what you need. I suggest a websearch, try "Child custody strategies in California" or "winning child custody in California" AND use "www.webcrawler.com" its a great search engine.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

There are firms in some states that take certain cases pro bono for low income families, or victims of domestic violence, etc. You should check if there are any in your area. In the South, there is Legal Services of Alabama, Legal Services of Florida, they're non-profit organizations...

Answer 4

Most states use the "best interests" of the child approach to decide whether a modification of child custody is appropriate. In your case, the fact that when the children are in his custody they are frequently left alone weighs in favor of you. His working long shifts when he is supposed to take care of the children suggests that they'd be better off in your care. This is hardly the only factor involved however, and as a lawyer, I have to suggest that you see someone locally. You do not want to leave something as important as child custody up to chance-find someone in your area to represent you.