Do I really need anger management? Or is this just common?

Question

I let people get the best of me and let me tell you; it is NOT pretty. When I get angered or upset I yell at the top of my lungs. I probably even have steam and smoke coming from my ears If I wasn't to be busy to notice! The thing is I normally only do this with people who are close to me. I would say i'm pretty social and get along with everyone I meet! I'm friendly, funny, and nice! I never act like this with anyone not close to me. Everyone who I do get into these quarrels w/ almost always tell me to keep my voice down and calm down. I don't like to instigate these arguments, but when someone provokes me I can't seem to control myself. It's not that I don't want to hear what the other person has to say; it's just a natural instinct for me to yell. I mean i know it's not good to do this and i assure you i am civil person and don't like confrontation. The people close to me (family, boyfriend) already know how I am, but yet the fireworks go off and all h**l breaks loose. After any type of confrontation I feel my worse. I feel helpless and so insecure about myself and disappointed in how yet again I let someone get the best of me. Is there any way I can manage this other than plainly just avoiding the situation in all or would I really need anger management?

Answer 1

Just avoiding the situation would not be the answer as you are not confronting the problem.

Most people with anger management problem always assume it is the other person's fault, and may be the case at times.

Here are some questions for you:

Do you find yourself becoming angry more than a few times each week?

Do small things triggers you to get upset ?

Also it helps if an outside observer points out your behavior to help you see the situation from a different perspective.

There are a few things you can consider to deal with an anger problem:

1) Anger Management Counseling;

2) Anger Management Classes;

3) Anger Management Support Groups;

4) Anger Management Support Network;

Good Luck and Stay calm !

Answer 2

A professional anger management program might actually help.  I have struggled with the same problem for most of my life, although I know exactly why I do it--my father is a big yeller.  It might help you if you take a step back and see where you learned the behavior from.

I've resolved my issue by removing myself from potentially explosive confrontations before they can get out of hand in order to calm down and formulate my (calm, cool, collected) response.  You might also try whispering when you feel like yelling, which might make you feel like a doofus at first, but it will work and will ease the tension.

It won't work all the time, but then again, some situations necessitate yelling!  :-)  Good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds to me like you lack assertion and this leads to a build up of resentment causing you to throw your paradigm and blow your top.

Remember assertion is making your point without aggression.

http://www.thesolutionwebsite.com/beinga...

If you learn to make your points in a more frank, yet less confrontational way then your may learn to constantly avert your outbursts.

Let's also remember that losing control is often about discipline(or lack of it).

If you learn some Anger Management Tips then perhaps you can exert the control you need to impose yourself respectfully and not aggressively.