Do I sound selfish to y'all?

Question

Im a divorced mother of one, and Im doing pretty good for myself.

I get pressure from family to have another,( btw I'm the only single mother in my family), pressure from my mother for another grandchild, and my child says she would love to have a brother or sister. I don't want to have any more children unless I remarry. And at the moment, I have no special guy in my life.

Answer 1

Nope you sound very smart. You should explain to your mother that you want the best for your children. And for you the best would be to be married and then have a child.  

Answer 2

no ur not selfish... ur doing the right thing by waiting till u get married, or at least have a guy in ur life thats gonna be around...

Answer 3

No that doesn't sound selfish at all.  Its your life do what you feel is right for you.  Not to mention it would probably be best to have a kid with someone you love than some random dude.

Answer 4

No, maybe get your child a doll and treat it like you would a baby.

Answer 5

No, you're being smart, practical and have a realistic grasp on "the bigger picture".    

Answer 6

No you sound perfect to me!

Answer 7

your reproductive organ is YOURS. you should be the one to decide how and when to use it.

Answer 8

No.  If you don't want another child, don't have one.  If your mother wanted so many bleeding grandchildren, she should have had more children herself.  Your child will want company, so make sure you schedule loads of playdates with other kids her age.  You're not everyone else's personal baby-maker!  

Answer 9

no your being absoloutely right, the choice to have a child should be because YOU want one and for no other reason. Not having a special perosn in your life is all the right reasons NOT to have another right now.  

Answer 10

No your not selfish. Your doing what's best for YOU which is the most important. If your not ready to have another child then you shouldn't. You shouldn't make such a drastic descision simply because other people want you to. I actually give you kudos for choosing to wait to have a child. I agree with the first answer too.. you could get your daughter a baby doll and treat it like it's a real baby so your daughter will have the sense that she has a real brother or sister. Just do that in the mean time until you do decide to have another baby. I hope this helped!  

Answer 11

No.It is YOUR body & you have every right to wait until YOU are ready.It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it,only your opinion matters.I would tell them that it isn't their business and they need to butt out.

Answer 12

no i think that is a wise desicion

Answer 13

don't force yourself or be pressured by your family and your kid. and you're not selfish at all and youre right its better to have another child if you are sure of the man you love and youre married.

Answer 14

It would be selfish if you had an unwanted baby just to appease your family.  Tell them to back off and mind their own business, especially considering they have no idea what it's like to be a single parent.  Better yet, suggest that one of them adopt a child to raise themselves.  That way, your daughter would have someone to play with.  I'm sure that will shut them up.  

Answer 15

No that sounds reasonable to me not selfish. It's selfish of them to pressure you into something you don't want

Answer 16

It sounds to me like you are being smart. Not selfish.

Answer 17

No that doesn't sound selfish that sounds smart to me. Why have another child just to please someone else when your clearly not ready. Sounds to me like you have a good head on your shoulders and i would just wait till you meet that special guy and get married and so forth!  

Answer 18

that is not selfish it is responsible good for you hang in there

Answer 19

No. Having another child is a huge decision and you are the only one who can make it. Don't let family pressure you, they aren't going to be up at 1 am when the little one is sick. Do what is right for you. You aren't a kid any more, you don't have to do what your parents tell you.  

Answer 20

Thats not selfish at all! there is nothing wrong with not wanting another child yet being a single mother to one child is probably hard enough. i personally think you are being very sensible waiting till you remarry. It is very easy for your mum to say she wants another grandchild but she wont be the one getting up in the middle of the night and being there all the time. If your child is young then she wont understand what goes with having a child. Dont listen to people pressuring you at the end of the day it has to be your decision and the fathers if you had a special man in your  life.

Answer 21

it would be selfish to have another child without getting married first.  Each child deserves a mom and dad who are married and committed to each other.  I'd say you're doing the unselfish thing.

Answer 22

As a single mom you know how hard it is to raise one child by your self much less two.  Your mother surely doesn't expect you to go get knocked up by some stranger just to give her another grand child that seems selfish on her part.  I would think she would like for you to remarry first.  Children will be children they want brother or sister until they get here and realize they are alot of work and take attention away from them.  I don't know how old she is but this might work into a perfect time for "the talk".  Explain to her about waiting until you are married and why etc...  Remarrying and having another would set a better example for your daughter.  I am with you wait!

Answer 23

  You shouldn't have a baby unill you're ready ~ no matter what anyone says.