Do I stand up for myself or just keep the peace?

Question

Well my sister is a HUGE bully to me. To the point that she literally causes me to shake. The last time this happened was when I asked her to grab me a drink while she was already in the kitchen. She called me "lazy and a spoiled brat" and was very hostile which caused a huge fight.

Anyways, yesterday she asked me to pour her a cup of coffee while i was in the kitchen so I did, but I really wanted to say something. I am told to just keep the peace, but at what expense? To be taken advantage of? What should I do?

Answer 1

stand up for yourself. What peace is there to keep if she treats you like that? Don't take that c**p from anyone. Even your sister.

Answer 2

you have to get it off your chest or it'll be worse later on. tell her what you think, which will prolly cause an argument. but DONT give in, fight all the way through the argument until you get your point across.

Answer 3

I think the way you handled it, is the way to go.  What was the big deal for you to pour a drink for her, it was a nice thing to do.

Right now our two daughters are at each others' throat.  We keep telling them that they need to force themselves to be nice to each other and not get so frustrated.

You are being a much bigger person than she is.  Keep it up.

Answer 4

if you are being bullied say something or talk to your parents when your sister is not around. No body should be bullied and you need to make sure someone knows about it so they can stop it from happening

Answer 5

Don't ask her to do anything for you, and when she asks you to do something for you, walk away and do or say nothing.  

Answer 6

Stand up for yourself.  Don't be rude about it, but when she TELLS you to do something and doesn't ASK, tell her "No".

If she attacks you or physically hurts you, call the police and file charges.  DO NOT DROP THE CHARGES!  If your sister wants to play hardball, you can play that game by calling the police.

Where are your parents in all this?  If they aren't setting your sister straight on acceptable and non-acceptable behavior, you'll have to take responsibility.  Be prepared to call the police and make your sister pay for her violent tendencies!

Answer 7

You may want to talk to your parents and see if they notice it too or if it's just you. I know what it is like honey! How old are you and your sister?

Answer 8

You just need to stand up for yourself and let her know how you feel. Silence or keeping peace will only cause more issues and make it continue. The more you stand up for yourself, the more she will back off!

Answer 9

So only you must keep the peace??  Only you are responsible for your actions?  Are you willing to "keep the peace" for the rest of your life?

I guess it just gets down to how much are you are willing to take of this c**p.  To realistically keep the peace, you must stop this c**p now.  Your family isn't really thinking this through.  Your sister is creating a wedge between you two with her ill treatment of you.  You already get shakey when you're around her.  So whats next.  Anxiety and losing your hair just to be around your sister.  I imagine you already resent her.  The next step, more then likely, is to avoid her at all costs.  How is this good for the family?  This is what can destroy any future relationship you have with your sister.  

Tell your family to quit being so selfish.  You desire peace too!  So how else to achieve that other then resolving the issues at hand.  Next time someone tells you to keep the peace, ask them whose peace they're talking about?  That you can't get any peace when your sister is running her mouth.

I am the oldest of my siblings.  Therefore I tend to be a little overbearing.  I don't mean to be but it's just an instinct for me.  Like it's up to me to keep them in line.  I admit, that sometimes I probably say things that I shouldn't.  But really I only care about what's best for them.  But if I ever hurt their feelings or insulted them, I would want them to tell me.  I want to be close with my siblings.  I tease them but I still love them and would never intentionally hurt their feelings.

As I stated earlier, I feel you must resolve this issue with your sister now in order to maintain the peace down the road.  I would even go as far as to tell your family that when they request you keep your mouth shut.  I think that maybe you need to talk to your sister and setup sometime just between you two.  She needs to know how you make her feel.  She needs to realize that she is ruining your relationship.  She could possibly be ignorant of your feelings simply because the peace has been kept.  I bet that if she knew that you get the shakes around her, she'd feel like total c**p.  Tell your sister how you feel.  I wish you strength and the best of luck!

Answer 10

Stand up for yourself in a peaceful way like talking. VIOLENCE is not needed.

Answer 11

Stand up for yourself..

If she doesn't do anything for you

don't do anything for her

don't let her bully you

but remember don't become a bully afterwards

(i.e if you follow my advice and it works)

Answer 12

maybe you should stand up for yourself, she knows your younger and cant hurt her as much...just try to stand up for yourself, show her your not going to take it and she might back off knowing your going to fight back now...worst case scenario, go tell someone to help you like your parents...works for me! hope this helps you against the other sibling!