Do I stay in the U.S. or leave?

Question

My family and I have moved to the U.S. from Taiwan when I was in the first grade, and now I am an incoming freshmen in high school. But, last year I went back to Taiwan for an year. This summer I came back to the U.S. to say goodbye to all of my friends here and to enjoy my summer vacation here with all my friends before I leave, but I started to realize that this (U.S.) is my true home, and where all my friends are. My mom doesn't really have an opinion on this because she wants the best for me and she kind of thinks that it is better for me to stay here in the U.S. On the other hand, my dad has an entirely different view. He doesn't want me to stay here one bit, he wishes that I can go back to Taiwan. The reason that he wants me to go back to Taiwan is because that the costs of everything is cheaper in Taiwan and my dad is retiring from his job in 2 or 3 years. He says that I still have to go to college and he can't afford all of this with him retiring in a few years. He says that he will let me go back to the U.S. when i've graduated from high school in Taiwan (which is 4 years). But for me, I want to stay here in the U.S. where all of my friends are, because this is where I was meant to be. In Taiwan I have no friends, I suck at chinese and everyone says I'm an american and treats me as an outsider. I really dont want to stay in Taiwan. My Mom and Dad have been wanting to get a divorce these couple of years. My Dad says he is willing to not divorce if I come back to Taiwan. And I as certainly do not want my parents to divorce. My Dad has given me 2 options, come back to Taiwan, or my mom and dad gets a divorce. So, If I stay in the U.S., my parents are getting a divorce, but I hate staying in Taiwan. If my parents divorce then I have to give up my dad and i wont be able to see him much anymore. Its either my friends and hopes, or my dad. And my parents have been with me for all my life, I dont want my dad to not be with me. Here is the question, to stay in the U.S. and give up seeing my dad, or to stay in Taiwan and give up my friends here in the U.S., and give up my hopes and dreams?

Answer 1

Better choice USA.

But learning chinese in 4 years will get you an invaluable asset.

Short term wins get chinese expertise.

Remember your Dad may change his mind. you have to make up your mind independent of that. There is tremendous potential for someone who knows USA and has chinese expertise.

Answer 2

I wish you all the best. Your problem is very complicated. It is more than just staying in the US or going to Taiwan.

Answer 3

Honey, your parents will get a divorce no matter what you do.  It may be postponed but you are not the reason and your dad had no right to put that kind of guilt on you.  Moving to Taiwan could be an awesome experience for you and a lot of people would love the opportunity to see and live in another country for a while.  Learning experience.  Practicing your chinese. Etc.  At your age, it is normal to not want to leave your friends but don't be afraid to take risks.  Good luck with this very tough decision.  

Answer 4

I wouldn't want to go to Taiwan either!

Answer 5

That's so unfair of your dad to do that to you. That's not even a decision you should have to make. Tell him he's not being fair, and your parents relationship shouldn't depend on your decision. That's not right. You do need to respect your parents, but then again, it is your life, and you've been raised in the US, so it is your home... It's a pretty tough decision. And also, I repeat, an unfair one..

Answer 6

i think its really unfair your dad has given you that choice. he shouldnt divorce your mum just because you decide to stay where you fell at home.

honestly if it was me, i would stay where i love to live and feel happy and accpeted.

good luck and all the best in your future!

Answer 7

there is no place like home

Answer 8

your parents have no power over you when you want to make a choice.you should do whatever you want to do.if you want to do or prove something,you do it.you can stay in the usa but you can visit your dad for maybe week long stays.if you get sad about your dad,your friends will comfort you.do whatever you want and you will be happy  

Answer 9

WOW....talk about being selfish your dad doesn't care about no one but himself.....shame on him for putting such a burden on you.....don't ruin your hopes and dreams just to make him happy blackmailing you is not right and he is inconsiderate to put such a heavy load on you.....go with your heart and stay here in the US if Taiwan was such a good choice why did they come to the US when you were a child? Stay and go for a scholarship or go to a community college....just to let you know you don't need to go to the best college....I went to a trade college and made it all the up to a IT technician with experience and no education......let your father know that your happiness means more than his.....remember you have to live with your decision.

Answer 10

Your parents relationship has nothing to do with you - your father is trying to emotionally manipulate you into doing what he wants (going back to Taiwan) by telling you that if you stay, he will divorce your mom.  If he is saying things like that, he is already emotionally divorced from your mother and there is nothing you can do about it.

Have you talked to you mom about it?  About the possibility of them getting divorced and you staying with your mom in the US?  

If it were me, I would talk to my mom about it first - it might not be possible for her to stay in the US working on her own and supporting you also if they get divorced, or it might turn out to be a great option.

You will always have an opportunity to have a relationship with your dad afterwards.

Answer 11

Its sad, tell ur parents how u feel. but I feel that Taiwan is better than US ...

Answer 12

do what your heart desires  you could always have long distance relationships with your friends from taiwan and you could find cheap stores to shop at in the u.s. do what you want to do you could always change you mind

Answer 13

Wow, I really do not know what to say. If your parents are going to get a divorce just because of you wanting to stay in the us, that is not the right reasons. I think you should stay in the us, and follow your hopes and dreams. You can always save up money to fly and see your father, or you never know but he might come around and see you.

You have to do what is right for you, that way you have no regrets later on.

Answer 14

You better stay in the U.S if you like freedom. That's all I gotta say.

-BABYKANDY oxoxoxoxoxox

Answer 15

The reasons everythings cheaper in Taiwan is because the majority of people have a lower standard of living.

People get paid less, so things are cheaper.

I dont know the full circumstances but i would prefer to be in the US.

Answer 16

If your parents have been bickering and thinking about divorcing for a few years, divorce is inevitable. It's also really unfair of your dad to lay the relationship of your parents in your hands! He's just using a really cruel bargaining chip. You should stay where you are most comfortable. Since the U.S. has become your home, you should probably stay in the U.S. Unless you're going to go to an international school in Taiwan, the next four years may be difficult with your lack of language skills. You can tell your dad that going to Taiwan may cause your grades to suffer. Not only will you have to concentrate on high school level class work, you'll have to learn a new language in a short amount of time! Don't worry about your parents' relationship. Whatever happens, happens. It is not your decision to make for them.

Answer 17

Listen Your Dad shouldnt be putting you in between your mom and him he proabaly is making a reason to divorce anyway stay in the us maybe even get a job help pay for collage if the money is the problem for your dad help pay if your friend and family are in the us you should stay and enjoy high school with them prom senior year all this should be done with your friends and if you go to tawain who is gonna be there for you to talk to laugh with and as you said u suck at chinease so it will be difficult for you dont wait four years of h**l to enjoy your life stay in the us with your friends and enjoy your high school while it lasts

Answer 18

Its seems like Mom and dad argue to much and

whether or not you go back to

Taiwan they are going to divorced.

so my opinion is that you stay here in U.S. were you belong as an insider.

And in taiwan you will be a n outsider and that will probably affect your dreams and friends. Mr.american lol.

Answer 19

you are an immigrant

believe this truth and get out of us

Answer 20

Go back to Taiwan. USA sux!    Or, at least spend most of your time in Taiwan and establish long-lasting friendships with normal people.  USA is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want any part of that sewer of a country.  By the way, I am Japanese.

Answer 21

Suggest that you be sensitive but firm.  You've moved on.  Keep your friends, hopes and dreams!

Answer 22

Go back home to be with your people.  My people are gone!

Answer 23

Respect your parents, go back to Taiwan

Answer 24

you can always visit dad...

Answer 25

Stay in the United States. This is the place you want to be. Do not let your dad make you feel like it is your fault if your parents divorce. If they are going to divorce or are thinking about it because of location, they should not be together anyway. Their divorce would not be your fault. Your mom seems to want to stay in the United States as well.

  I understand that you will be sad not to see your father often but he is making the choice to move back before you are finished with school. That is his choice and if he really wanted to be with you, he would stay. If your dad was worthy of being with you, he would choose to stay another 4 years here. If he can so easily toss you and your mother aside to move to Taiwan, Does he really care about you like he should? Stay here with the people who love and support you.

Answer 26

Stay in the US