Do I still let the steward/waiter pull out my seat?

Question

My family and I go to a lot of fancy resturaunts and just last week we were on a Holland America Cruise. There were three of us and when we would enter the dining room the steward would pull out two chairs on one side of the table and stand there waiting for my parents to sit so he could place the napkins in their laps. My question is, "While he is standing there waiting on my parents do I pull out my own chair and sit or do i just stand there and wait for him to pull out my chair?

Answer 1

I'm not 100% sure, but here's what I'd do.  You can seat yourself, but only once all women have been seated.  So, as the watier is getting your parents seated, you can pull out a chair for your wife and as she sits, then you seat yourself.  If the waiter finishes seating your parents while you are still seating your wife, if he makes a move for your chair, then let him.  Otherwise, by the time you sit, he's probably placing the napkin on your wife's lap, then yours.  I couldn't find the formal rules I was looking for, but I think this will be acceptable because you are still being formal by seating your wife.  If it was just you, I think you are fine to seat yourself if he is occupied.  If you find a good waiter that seems kind, and if the moment is right and nobody is around, maybe you could ask him.  At fancy restaurants they all recieve instructions and training on it, so he should know.  It might vary from country to country as well I'm sure.  But it's great to keep some formal traditions alive and respected.

Answer 2

I would just pull my own chair out.  Standing and waiting for him sounds awkward, plus pulling out your own chair isn't exactly hard work.

Answer 3

ummm i would probably either just do it my self and by then he would probably put the napkin in your lap or i would pretend like im distracted and stare at something else not paying attention to the chair thing and let him do it later just look out the window or something or pull out your phone and do something i would probably just do that