Do I suffer from depression?

Question

I've been feeling depressed for apparently no reason lately. When I'm in social situations, I'm okay, but when I get home (especially at night) my mood drops and I can't help but cry myself to sleep. I keep having quite nihilistic thoughts, and I feel as if my life is pointless. I keep thinking that, whichever direction I take ( education? work? ), I am going to be in constant pain, and that's why in the end I will fail and come back home with the walk of shame. Moreover, I know I should move to another city, but I don't think I am strong enough to leave my loved ones behind. I feel useless, weird, disappointing. It's as if I'm suddenly discovering that life is absurd and there's no way out except suicide. The last thing I want to do is to make a drastic decision that will hurt my family & friends, but it's the only possible way to numb the pain. I have no idea why I've lost all will to live since I used to be a very happy and positive person.

Could this be depression? I did suffer from depression as a kid because of bullying, I smoke marijuana every now and then ( I don't abuse) , drink socially and I am 19 years old. If so, how do I overcome this? How do I find the way out? I feel ashamed and guilty of letting people know I feel this way, so no one knows yet.

Answer 1

one word you need to think and be positive. always think it will get better and find ways for it to be better even if it takes a lil while. Give life a chance its not going to hurt you, its short anyways so y not take advantage of it.. I once use to be like u too i was depressd for almost 2 yrs in high school, dont know why, but it got better. Just dont let things depress you, i know this sounds useless but if you actually think about the good things u have in life and the good thigs da will come like having kids, gettin married, becoming a doctor or w,e u wanna do, life does get better.. if u think negative then negative results its all you will get... so find solutions, results to the problem and go out there find yourself and be happy. Help others too ad u will feel better about urself.. also about the smoking i use to smoke too and after a while it got me depressd do i quit it .. dont smoke no more til ur depression goes away .. quit drugs for a while and just do wat u have to do. >.<

Answer 2

join a club- sports or social or a church youth thing.  

Answer 3

It does sound like depression. Perhaps see a therapist? There's no shame in feeling unwell. Don't be afraid to tell your parents.