Do I want a promise ring? or is it a phase? ?

Question

Lately, ive been desiring a promise ring..preferably from my bf.. eventho I did tell him recently that I cant see my future with him clearly yet like he does, and that it would take some time...but i really want a promise ring tho, I dont know if it will help the r/ship or not..Ive been dating him for 3 years..Will a promise help the r.ship? or am i just going thru a phase?

Answer 1

lol "Preferably from my bf". Or someone else. Whatever. lol

A promise ring is supposed to symbolize that you both promise to be loyal and faithful to each other. If you aren't ready to make that kind of commitment, and it doesn't sound like you are, then it would just be a lie anyway. A piece of jewelry has never in the history of mankind "helped a relationship". The length of time you've been dating is irrelevant. My fiance and I had been dating for more than 5 years when we got engaged, and we'll have been together for 7 years when we get married in February because we are just now feeling ready for marriage. Don't let anyone tell you that "it's about time you moved forward" or any of that garbage. Only you know what's right for you. If you aren't ready for a serious commitment yet, just take you time. I know a promise ring isn't an engagement ring, but it still symbolizes a big commitment.

Do you think you could ever see a future with him? Is it HIM you can't see a future with, or do you have trouble picturing yourself in the future at all? It may just be that you aren't ready to make those kinds of plans yet, and you can't force that. You just have to wait until you're ready. If he can't wait for you, then he needs to go find someone who shares his mindset. It sounds like you are both very young. You need time to grow up.

Answer 2

its perfectly normal to want a promise ring.  But don't use a piece of jewelry as a deciding factor in your relationship.

Answer 3

yeah you do

Answer 4

a ring is only an object, let it go...

Answer 5

Well, it's not going to help with anything or confirm anything. It's just a ring.

But if you want one and do think eventually you'll get married, then get one. But don't get one if you think you're going to dump him, but you just want a ring for now!

Answer 6

I think it is not necessary. A promise ring is something like a boyfriend-girlfriend ring, which is quite redundant. There is no use in saying that "I have given you a ring to be worn, so people will know you belong to me." But not really intending to marry the person at all. It's so unfair to the girl. She had wasted 5-6 years of her youth, plus she was still studying in university at that time (but uncompleted) and not even considered engaged to the boyfriend at all.  I think the guy is a scum. All bunnies are scums.

I got married in Feb 2008, mine was pretty simple and nice. By the way, I have only known my hubby for 1 yr 3 months 24 days.(since first encounter until now) I paid for all the wedding expenses, so my last drawn salary of S$1300 pay(only) as a shipping clerk per month was spent mostly on our wedding, held with the Singapore Hokkien Huey Kuen, on the large framed up picture with a bridal shop(which has shifted), on the 2 sets of wardrobe done, and all other expenses. Total, I think I spent close to S$8,000.

Trust me, get him to marry you. If he hesitates, that means he is out to cheat you of your feelings.

Answer 7

No, I don't think so.

If you've been with someone that long, I think it's great that you're getting some kind of union in your relationship (:

I say, GO FOR IT!

Answer 8

Unless it's some magical ring, how's a piece of metal going to help your relationship?

If you're unclear about your relationship then communicate and figure out what you want first.

A promise ring is just a ring with no symbolic meaning if you don't see your future with the man.

All the best :)

Answer 9

It sounds like you want a ring just to say "Look, I have a ring," especially since you're not even sure if you want it to mean what it is supposed to mean.  Promise rings are meant to solidify a relationship before a formal engagement, not just to get a ring.  I think promise rings are for naive high school girls who think getting married is the only goal to have in life.  

Answer 10

I have met several women who want an engagement ring more than they want a bf/fiance and even more than they want a wedding or a marriage. If a ring is all you want, you should buy one. If you want a partner, even for a little while, get the ring, but be prepared to give it back if you wanted the jewelry more than him. It's less cold than stringing him along, and just using him.

Answer 11

Phase. It's human desire to want something, and even more of a human desire to want something stable. You already said you weren't sure of him (after 3 years that says something pretty significant). A ring won't help the relationship, eventually you will feel like you're being smothered, tied down by him, and it will end badly for both of you.

What you need to do is find out why you have reservations about him. Is he your first boyfriend? What are you really scared of? Honestly, it sounds like you are waiting for something better to come along. Stop wasting his time and yours.