Do REAL families KICK their son or daughter out of the house if ....?

Question

They are polite, nice, have a job, full time college student, not smoking, not drinking, doesn't go out and party or get drunk. Because I feel so unjustified here, I am working my butt off in school and work and even contribute to the house financially and I feel ever since my mother stopped receiving child support I was no good to her.

I'm 19 going on 20.

Also because I have a boyfriend and he is a great guy but she hates him partly because of his skin color (he is Canadian white) but he goes to school, is on the dean's list, has a job and is serious about school and we are in a serious relationship, he's not bad AT ALL!!! No where near it!

And she is so over-prided about being Spanish and hispanic, she only wants me dating spanish men but I am in love with my boyfriend, you do not choose who you love all the time! and I really really really love him! He's like the best thing that has ever happened to me.

And she told me she would never kick me out but a year later "boom!" it happens and she changes her mind. I hate her.

I can't afford to be on my own, I'm working towards my degree and a full time student, maybe when I get my degree and decent paying job but I still have 2 years to go. Now I feel bitter towards her, when she says "I love you" or gives me a fake smile it makes me sick to my stomach, I need to leave for my own sake now because she is controlling. Just because I found a great guy and she makes my life heck.

I'M PAYING FOR MY SCHOOL, I'M PAYING FOR MY FOOD AND BOOKS AND CELL PHONE AND ALL MY NECESSITIES!!!!

She never encouraged me to go to college ... only for stupid insurance reasons.

And I don't have a car either so she just takes me to school but what choice did I have? She spent all my money for school on her garden and to decorate her house!!!??!

So as soon as I get my next paycheck I do not care I am going to treat myself and get a brand new red 2008 volkswagen Jetta .... I freaking need a break from all her horse sh** and I can't wait!

No money for school, no money for car and yet she complains and acts like I am not mature because I don't drive but even when I tried to drive at 16 and 17 she always hindered me and said "go to this school and learn first ..... I CAN'T TAKE YOU DRIVING!"

She NEVER supported me she always wanted to be in control of my life and live my d**n life for me. grrrr I hate her!

She screwed EVERYTHING up and with this tension I can't stay long anyways, she's making my life heck and if she is that quick to get rid of me I will be quick to get rid of her. Once I leave I'm not calling her or helping her and when she gets old and everyone can't help her and I'm doing well .... psht! she can forget having my support, I will kick her out the same way she to me!

And she loves grandchildren but you what, she can forget about that too! She can age old and grey before she'll ever get a glimpse of my future children and family!!!!!

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

tell her how u feel and ask for help politely ........and when u will be able to support urself, get ou tof there

Answer 3

You are right about your mother trying to control your life by not encouraging you to have your own car and drive yourself wherever you need to go.  Everything was great as long as your life suited the script she had in mind.  Your mother is a bigot who can't stand that you have fallen in love with a man who doesn't have the same ethnic and cultural background that you do.

Now that you have fallen in love with a good man, you are getting a great education, and you have plans for a successful and happy life, your mother is feeling threatened, like she is losing control, and jealous of the life she can see in your future.  She is doing her best to ruin all of it for you by kicking you out of the house and putting a financial hardship on you.

You have every right to angry at her, but don't let that anger cause you to make impulsive decisions that you will regret later.  Think everything over calmly and make logical, rational choices that will bring you to the life you envision for yourself.  Buy a car, but only one that you can afford to make payments on, buy insurance for, and pay for repairs or maintenance on.  Come up with a plan, after you calm down, for moving out of the house and continuing your education.

I don't understand the part where you say she spent your money on her garden and house decorations.  Is this money that she earned that you thought she should give you for your education or is it money that you give her to help with household expenses?  If it's her money, she has every right to spend it however she wants.  Your choices may not be the same as hers, but you have to respect them, nonetheless.

When you do get out on your own, do not use your mother's treatment of you as an example of how to treat her.  Choose to be better than her.  Accept frustration and setbacks with grace and calmness.  Do not be bitter and exact revenge by cutting her out of your life and keeping her from seeing her grandchildren.  If you do, you will become your mother and teach your children to be like your mother.  Choose to be patient and loving and nurturing to your mother and to the children that you will have.

Answer 4

GOD that's just plain screwed up...your moms a jerk no offense but i bet secretly shes just worried about u being more happy than she is because she dosent have a relationship with a man or anything like that. So basically shes dumping all her c**p and worries on you. And even though your broke, it sounds like youve got some good stuff going for u, and shes just jealous. So pearsonaly i would go get out of that negative c**p and move in with my boyfriend.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

If my daughter was like you, I would be blessed.  Sounds like you are starting your life out on the right track. You sound like you are strong, smart and determined.  Stay on track you can do it.  Get your car like you plan and that way when it gets tough at home you can disappear for a bit to cool off.  I really wish your mom could see what she has in you, she is losing you and she can't even see it.

I know you can hang in there a bit longer, finish school and start saving money for your own place.  Believe me once you are gone she will then realize what she has lost.  Maybe it will be too late, maybe not.  

You are very right about your boyfriend you can't change who your heart loves.  My whole family told me that my boyfriend and I would never make it when we decided to get married, gave us a year at the most.  In December we will be celebrating our 15yr anniversary.  Do I talk to my family members anymore, once in awhile and always on my anniversary day, too say we made it another year.  Follow your heart.

You have alot of anger, I know you have a busy schedule but maybe something like jogging or idk yoga.  Maybe something like that will help you to release some of that anger.

I wish you the best of luck in all that you do.

Answer 7

good lord. you should really invest in a livejournal or something...

Answer 8

TMI.