Do Reunion Registries Work?

Question

If an adoptee was born in one State and adopted in another State they do not qualify to register on either State's registry

Also, obviously, a deceased person can't register, nor can a father who didn't sign the relinquishment papers

Are State registries just a crumb thrown out in an attempt to placate searching adoptees and birth parents?

Answer 1

They would work if mothers and adoptess knew about them.

my daughter and I used IARMIE (Illinois Registry) once we found each other. But until I and she started looking we didn't know about them. In fact I only found out after she found me. So no  I don't think they work as intended.

Answer 2

I have no clue about state registries but I know the online ones work. I found my mom through reuinionregistry.com! (it isn't online anymore but it worked for me 9 years ago)

Answer 3

In the cases of adoptions which happened 40-60+ years ago, there is a good chance that the birthparents were deceased by the time (a) the registry opened and/or (b) they would have learned about the registry.

The statistics I've seen have put passive registry match rates at around 4% (that's over a 10-20 year history, not an annual figure!)

I also think that many adoptees and first parents may be reticent to register because if there is a match, both sides are notified.  Then, if in the exchange of information one side finds that the other is not someone they would want to meet - they would have to either go through with contact anyway or reject contact.  

Most people might want do some background checking first (using identifying information) and then decide whether to make contact.  This way, the other side doesn't know that they have been rejected.

Also - there are MANY adoptees who will not actively search (or even register) while their a-parents are still alive.  My stepmom is 81.  She did not raise me but she is STILL against my searching.  At age 54, I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions.  My first mother would be 75, if she is still living.  I've been registered with NYS (and several other registries) for nearly ten years.

Answer 4

State registries are horrible.  Situations in which both parties have been on the registry have taken years, some past a decade, to be notified of a match.  Upon reunion, some find out they were both on the state registry for long periods of time without ever being notified.  They reunited via other methods.

Another issue with state registries is that they are insulting to any adult's capability to independently handle his or her own relationships, just like anyone else.  

The current "Confidential Intermediary" programs that are popping up in some states are even worse.  Not only do they insult in the same manner as registries, but they allow total strangers access to personal records to which first parents and adopted persons are denied.  One person who posts on Y!A was contacted via a CI program and is rather pissed off about it.  They are an invasion of one's personal documents by the state, as well as one more way in which the state meddles with adults' rights to handle their own personal relationships.

Answer 5

I've heard the NYState registry has a whopping 2-3% success rate. It's amazing to me how many mothers and adoptees I've run across who don't know that the registries even exist. But then, if they were advertised, (the way infant adoption is!), agencies would be out the additional fees that they make on those who are searching.

Answer 6

The greatest problems with reunion registries -

1. many don't know about them

2. many mother's were told not to bother searching - and wait for adoptees to search - therefore - they don't add their details

3. many adoptees are waiting for their mother's to come looking for them - which creates - with point #2 - a stand-off of sorts

4. some people have the wrong information (ie the birth date wrong - sometimes by just one day) - so information won't be matched

5. father's not being named on documents are a problem

6. as are those that are deceased

In general - some have found each other on the registries - but they are few and far between.

Yes - I agree that it appears to be a 'crumb' - as often states argue that these are enough for adoptee and first mothers - and they keep records sealed.

Ultimately - adoptive parents have the money and the power in adoption - along with the adoption agencies.

They want to keep reunions to a minimum - to keep everyone quiet - so everyone can pretend that the adoptions never really happened - and all is 'right with the world'.

Take the money out of adoption - and make things a h**l of a lot more transparent - such as they have done in Australia.

When 18 - all adoptees and first parents can apply for information - and search if they so wish.

No craziness going on down here - just families being allowed to know each other - after a life of separation.

ETA:  To Sarah = if an adoptee has no paperwork to state 'who' his father is - how on earth can he place those details on a registry????

Answer 7

They aren't really advertised. And a lot of people do not have the accurate information necessary to search. Many birth-mothers were lied to about the s*x of the baby, or they can't remember the date of birth and they weren't told the child was being adopted in another state.  Most of them were told to forget it ever happened and are traumatized and do not think to search.