Do Terrible Two's really exist?

Question

I have a son who turned two in April. I've heard about the "Terrible Two" stage from cousins who had children before me, and I thought I would be able to manage, but some days I just want to pull my hair out.

My son has gotten into hitting. Hitting is the way for him. Now, I know I shouldn't spank him for hitting mommy...that would be contradicting, but what should I do? He throws temper tantrums, he doesn't want to eat anything BUT cereal, he wants to run around like a mad man at restaurants, if I don't give him what he wants, he will cry and throw screams out at the top of his lungs.

He's never been this way before. Are these the "Terrible Two's" I've heard about? How long does it last? When will it go away? How do I cope?

HELP!!!

Answer 1

sounds like you should get stern about discipline.I don't see anything wrong with a little swat on the *** to call attention. have you tried the corner? not trying to be mean but the more you give in to the crying the worse he's going to get. it's called enabling. sometimes you just have to sit them in the corner till they're done with the **** fit. and for the food thing, if he doesn't want to eat fine take the plate and put it in the fridge till the next meal. keep reheating it till he decides he's hungry enough to eat it. remember to use common sense with old food, it does have a limit, but no treats or anything else to eat till the other food is gone. trust me works great. good luck.

Answer 2

When he hits, put him in time out telling him "we don't hit in this house"  When you go to restaurants leave him at home with a sitter or trusted family member/friend if you can't control him.  When he cries, throws things ignore his behavior.  He knows that when he does these things YOU will give in.  And yes these are the terrible twos.  How long it lasts depends on how YOU deal with it.  Ignore the tantrums at home.  Don't take him in public if you think he will throw a tantrum or be prepared to leave wherever you are when he starts in, use time outs or place a child gate in the doorway of his bedroom and put him in there when he has a "meltdown".  It is not necessary to hit him.

Answer 3

I don't believe "terrible two's" exist.  I think it can be explained this way.

Two is an age when children become more independent.  They begin to see that they are able to do things differently than what mom has been telling them.  If the parental discipline has been lax until this point, two gets TERRIBLE.  The child has no reason NOT to whatever he/she wants and decides that he/she doesn't have to listen o mom and dad.  If the parents have always set  boundaries and limits and stuck to them, then the budding two year old, in his independence, knows that he WANTS to run away from mom , but that the last time he tried that, there was an unpleasant consequence and mom made him obey.  

Two doesn't have to be terrible and most people excuse their child's bad behavior by saying , 'It's normal at two".  Not so.

I don't think "terrible two's" really exist.

(And by the way,  age three IS worse if you don't crack down during two~)

Answer 4

I think for boys it's the 2's for girls it's the 3's.  I have a little girl and I gotta say since she turned 4 life's been alot more pleasent.  We still have the occational whining and crying.  But it is settled easily by consistant disapline and  corner time.  and screaming and yelling in public is followed by a trip to the restroom for a spanking.  Behavior like that is unexceptable.  You can't base your actions on how the child will react.  That is taking you totally out of control and putting them in control...  You do what you think is best and if they don't handle it well and throw a fit, there are consiquences...  Best of luck!

Answer 5

Yes my dear you have hit the terrable two's, but don't stress to much. My daughter turned 2 in March, and it has been down hill from there. She is doing the exact same things your son is doing, and I have learned that time out is a life saver. She didn't go easy at first, but after a few times of me making her sit there for 2 minutes and her being able to get back up she got the meaning of what time out means. She still has her bad days where she throws fits, but they are getting less and less physical on her end. Spanking your child does send mixed messages on the hitting part. Take a breather and revisit the situation. Little ones at this age are wanting to see your reactions to there actions. Wish you luck..

Answer 6

I am going through a similar thing with my 2 1/2 yr old.  He has an older sister, and picks up what she says when she's busy trying to be 25 (not 11).  Anyhow, I have a bad boy seat.  It can be anywhere, at home, outside, etc. and if he hits me or his sister, he gets to spend a few minutes in the bad boy seat.

Answer 7

Terrible 2s is really a myth. Every child is different and they go through mental growth spurts at their own pace. When he's acting terribly like that you need to be firm with him. My husband and I only spank our kids if they are blatenly disobedient or when they lie to us. Otherwise we put them in time out, take away a favorite toy, say no dessert, etc. Also, if they are acting badly in a store or restraunt, you take them to the bathroom or out to the car and talk to them sternly about why it isn't okay for them to be acting that way in a public place. Make sure you bring other peoples feelings in to the conversation, such as, the people in the restraunt won't have a good dinner if you are being loud and running around and interupting their meal. Just keep uo with the disipline and be SURE to praise them when the do something good. Go out of your way to catch them doing something good, so that they know they aren't always in trouble.

Answer 8

oh yes, they definitely exist.

the main reason for frustration at this age is that they have a limited attention span..hence the silliness. they also have a difficult time expressing how they feel.

encourage him to use his words. "i'm angry" "i'm frustrated". model this behavior. explain how you feel with day to day challenges. "i'm sad that you hit me"

time out is great at this age as well. for very naughty behavior, say nothing and put him right into his crib,bed or highchair to think. the rule is a minute for every year of their life......in this case two minutes. even though that doesn't seem like along time, trust me for a two year old two minutes is an eternity. repeat this action all the time. if he gets out of bed and starts again...back to time out for two minutes.

whatever your choice of dicipline is it must be consistant. same punishment everytime.......no exceptions.

for food........my rule was you eat what is offered or you wait until the next snack or meal. do not give in. eventually they will get so hungry they will start to conform. no child has ever willingly starved. this doesn't mean he can't have his cereal for breakfast, it just means that cereal is one of many foods offered and he can't pick and choose. it will take a couple weeks but he eventually will eat what is offered if no other options are available.

they do grow out of it........i've been there. my 3rd son is at this age and even though i've already been through this twice it doesn't get any easier. my 1st child went through terrible two's AND three's.  it will end in a blink, and you'll probably look back at this stage with a few good stories to tell at his wedding.

as far as how to cope.........take some "me" time when you have the opportunity. skip the housework when he's napping and watch a good movie. get a sitter for an hour and go get a massage. when you get offered help......take it. do not feel guilty to take the time to honour yourself. you need to be refreshed every so often. having time alone or with adult company will make you feel rejuvenated.

best wishes, i know it's stressful and exhausting but you can do it! keep you head up girl!

Answer 9

Yup, the terrible twos exist -- though, just to give you something to look forward to, IME, the ferocious fours were worse.  

No-one can tell you how long they will last for your kid. The best way to cope is to be firm, ignore misbehavior where practical and deal with it calmly/firmly where not. (i.e., do not ignore him running around a restaurant screaming -- that would annoy other patrons. But feel free to ignore a tantrum at home.)  If he hits, restrain his hands, remind him that hitting hurts -- and then put him somewhere that he can't hit anyone. (His room, his crib, etc.)

Offer a reasonable variety of healthy foods. He can eat, or he can be hungry.

Answer 10

Welcome to the club! Yes, they do exist and it is not limited to age two. Mine is almost three and he's entered into another level of it. I would pick your battles. And then stand your ground. For the hitting, keep telling him that hitting is not acceptable. If you remove him from you and his toys when he hits you, it could help. For my son, if I set him down and ignored him, he got upset and would stop hitting. As far as eating, let him just eat cereal. He's going to get into ruts. That's one fight you may not want to really deal with. He'll get tired of cereal eventually. Also, try to not give him a choice in food. If we just give my son something, he usually will eat it, but if we give him a choice, he'll just say oatmeal or cereal.

Good luck! It's a long year or so. But, once he starts communicating more, it will be easier to talk to him when he gets into these moods.

Answer 11

Yes it does exist and I am dealing with it first hand too!!!  Time outs work for me sometimes...but my daughter has figured out the trick for that one..."if I stop crying mommy will let me out"  so I keep her there until she can tell me why she is there and appologize.  But I think it takes a lot of patience and self restraint to not put them in time outs all day!!!  But I take every bad experience as a learning experience...a change to teach them something and if it is reiterated enough it will sink in even though it might take few times to explain it to them.  They will last as long as they last, there is no telling when it will end.  Just be patient and remember they are kind of experimenting with their feelings and pushing the limits to see how far they can go.  There will be relief...eventually :)

Answer 12

That vvould be it! My daughter is in the terrible tvvos right novv. You just have to find a punishment that vvorks for you and your son, like time out if you dont like to spank. Just be consistant on your punishment and dont let him get his vvay or he vvins. If you are in a restaurant and he starts running around put him back in his seat and tell him he cant run around here because there are people trying to eat, if he starts screaming and throvving a fit then take him outside or to the bathroom avvay from vvhere he can disturb people and tell him that if he vvants to go back out there and eat then he has to sit and be quiet, if not then he's going home, my daughter vvould do that and she didnt vvant to go home of course so vvhen I took her back out she actually sat there in her seat. It might take sometime but you just have to be ferm and consistant. She is starting to get alittle better and listens alot more but vvhen my son vvas in the terrible 2's it lasted until he vvas 3 and I svvear sometimes he vvas vvorse at 3 but then that vvas the time I had my daughter so he might have just been acting differently since he vvas no longer the only child. Good Luck!

Answer 13

Don't worry dear its all going to be till he is 3 or even more, even i have a son who is 2-1/2 and after failing to try to check on his stupid activities, i have stopped telling him what to do and not to do, because the more we try to put a stop on them the more they want to do the things.  so leave ur child on his own but be cautious without letting them know that u have kept a watch on him so that he does not hurt himself, also try to keep him involved in playing interesting games such as building blocks, animal pictures, keep him busy all the time and try to get him involved in your work asking him to do small chores to help you out.  So that he has less time to play pranks. its his age and things will settle down with his age and understanding of things.

Answer 14

Yeah the Terrible Two are fun. Wait for the "Threes" they just like the twos but you get the smart mouth. For the hitting just put him in time out for two minutes. If he gets up walk him back to his time out spot and start his time over. He will get the hint. For the temper tantrums at home just walk away don't react to them. That is what he wants you to do. He will get the hint. You have two chooses feed him what he wants for the rest of life or you make eat that you are eating. He will eat when his hungry enough. Try to explain to him that he needs to be good while you  are out and if he is not them you guys will go home. My daughter did the same thing while we were out and after the third time i told her fine not more outings for her. A month later we tried and she has been good sense. All you have to do is have rules. Make sure you and the other people in your house know them and follow thru with them with your son. I know how you feel i have a 6 yr son.

Good Luck!

Answer 15

Watch "The Nanny", it's a great show that can honestly help you.   IF you thoroughly follow what she says.

Answer 16

OMG!!! Yes they exist...I dont know a child that didnt go through this my niece is the same way but she is almost three now and she is calming down...now she just talks back alot...how long it last depends on the child and how you handle the situation...some children like my niece calm down once they hit 3 but for some people the chold continues this stage through year 3

Answer 17

Welcome to the club. Yes this is what is known as the terrible two's syndrome. My son is 4 now but what u just said describe what he was like just 2 years ago. Yes I remember the tantrums in the restaurants, the grocery stores, the mall.......

The good news is that this is temporary. Thay usually get over it at about age 4. He's just testing his limits. seeing how far he can get away with doing things. Girl, just like u, I know spanking is wrong but when my son started hitting me I did spank his bottom.

The best advise i can give you is just to stand your ground. if you weaken, he'll see this and think he can get away with doing bad things again. Every time he raises his hand to hit ANYONE you need to take action. Tell him it's wrong, send him to his room or give him a "time out". whatever it takes to make him understand its wrong. next time he throws a tantrum just let him. let him scream his lungs out if he wants. he'll tire himself out and stop. let him know mommy doesn't take that c**p.  I know this is tough but what part of parenting isn't tough??

Hang in there. You'll get through it. Best of luck!!

Answer 18

Yes and contrary to popular belief they start right after your child's first Birthday.  It is amazing how Mommy's sweet little Angel can turn into Mommy's little monster.  LOL

Don't forget to love every minute of it, you will blink your eyes and your child will be off to college.

Answer 19

Welcome to the terrible twos!  I hate to say this to you, but I think they're really just giving you a taste of the terrible threes (where my DD is now, some days I would gladly sell her).  Your little guy is trying to exercise his independence and find his voice, but with his communication skills still developing he gets easily frustrated and that can and usually does come out physically.  The absolute best thing you can do is be 100% consistent in your discipline- make sure he understands in no uncertain terms what is okay and what is not okay.  Hitting is not ok, so give him a warning and then if he does it again put him directly in a time-out.  You don't need to leave him there for long, but make sure you keep your cool and tell him again that hitting is not nice and get him to apologise for it.  Hug him, tell him you love him and then move on to something else (don't dwell on what happened).  You don't have to follow this to the letter, just decide on which discipline method works best for you and your partner and then STICK TO IT no matter what.  It can take some time, but being consistent sends the message to your son that YOU are in charge, not him, and that kind of unwavering boundary actually gives him a sense of security, believe it or not.  It does get better, just do your best to be patient and know that it's a learning process for him as well.  Best of luck to you!!