Do You Feel Your A Better Parent, Because Of Where Your Children Are Growing Up..??

Question

Everyone who knows me, I am a country girl and am proud to be bringing my children up in a rural area on a farm.

However I feel some people (in reality) do unfairly pass judgement on where we live. Even as a kid I grew up on a farm, and was judged, from certain people as apparently I am nothing more than a *Country Hick*.

Sure we don't have a shop within an 45 minutes drive, or any of the city luxuries but I think my kids are happy. No actually I know they are. We have animals. lol!

In saying that, my children certainly don't miss out on any activities & still can receive a fantastic education.

What do you suppose drives people to judge people because they are from certain living situations???

I know if I was living somewhere that was dangerous, and whatever you could judge, but a farm..... Hmmmmm

Answer 1

this questions confuses me because you are saying that people unfairly pass judgement because where you are bringing up your children and you are basically saying it is un fair for people to do this. but then you finish off your question with........

I know if I was living somewhere that was dangerous, and whatever you could judge, but a farm..... Hmmmmm

so therfore you are judging people who are living somewhere dangerous arnt you?

Answer 2

I feel that most people try to be the best parent they can be regardless of where they live.  Where you live will definitely influence the type of person your child will become - your environment does have an effect as far as what you are exposed to and the things you are accustomed to.  But as far as one being a better parent?  I would say no.  There are bad/good parents everywhere.  

I think people judge others because it is what people do.  It is human nature.  The only way to counter that is to teach your kids how to deal with it.  You can't control other people's actions, you can only control your own reactions.

Answer 3

I would never judge someone just because they lived on a farm. If their children were raggedy and dirty, then maybe I would have an opinion, but I would think it is wonderful to bring up your kiddies in such a great and safe environment.

Answer 4

I don't think it has anything to do with where you live that makes you a better parent. It's what you believe in, teach your children, treat your children and how you raise them. It has to do with what they grow up around and learn, not where they live.

My husband's family is filled with addicts and drunks, and we refuse to allow those people to see our daughter unless they are sober. We also do not allow people to smoke or swear around our daughter. My husband and I do not do drugs, do not smoke, do not drink..we do not even carry alcohol in our house. We live on the outskirts of the city. It is growing rapidly. Soon enough, we will have subsidized housing and welfare coming to our neighbourhood, and sadly, in our city, the majority of people on welfare are lazy and only use the money for drugs.

Anyway, we plan on keeping her away from this as much as physically possible. We're going to teach her family values, from always being at family gatherings, always sitting as a family to eat dinner at night, no TV during dinner, family game and movie nights once a week, speaking to each other and communicating with each other about how our day has been, etc.

We plan on raising her in a family setting not an "I put food in your stomach and clothes on your back, what more do you want?" kind of way. That's not parenting.

So, I think it's wrong that people judge you for where you live and what aspect you raise your children in. I think it's wonderful to be raised in a countrylike setting. I've found kids to be more respectful and better behaved in general when they're raised in a country setting.

I've considered it before, raising my kids there, but since I don't drive, and already feel isolated where I live, I don't think I could handle it. Next best thing is a small town.

Keep doing what you're doing. If your kids are happy and you're happy, that's all that matters.

Answer 5

Where you bring your kids up is up to you and you sound like your doing a fantastic job.

I live in the UK and our area is OK we have shops 5 Min's down the road but there is a lot of police activity in our area ,and i think if i lived some where else my kids would be happier.

Not every one can choose where they live but no one has the right to judge anyone,but you are doing a great job and you know it so who cares what others think

Answer 6

I live in a regional centre with around 28,000 people living here. We are not the biggest by far and are nowhere near a capital city in terms of population or services, but I do think it is an excellent place for my kids to grow up, there are a few disadvantages in terms of medical care and teaching (people don't like to live in regional or rural areas and are placed on contracts to give incentive for a few years), but other than that it is great. We have access to the "big city" lol and we are not that far away to be able to see horses, cows and sheep (quite often just around the corner in the paddock, lol). My family has the best of both worlds!!!

Answer 7

I think is is wonderful and what is best changes per person and family. I have lived in both situations and sterotyping is just sad and is done way to often now.

I lived in a city all year till summer and spent my summers on my aunts farm helping out. I loved both. Yeah it is great and all to go to the mall with your firends and such as a teen but at the same time, nothing can beat fresh air, and animals are so much fun. I used to love to get up and go get frest eggs from the chickens.

s***w anyone who judges based on where someone lives, how would they know if they havn't lived it, and just because they don't like it who says you don't.

Answer 8

Yes, i do think people judge, but not always intentionally.

I personally, cant help but think "I wonder what the school would be like" &i bet you, it probably isnt as good as the city ones or you certainly dont have as many options.

From experience with girls growing up on a farm they are by no means "education deprived" if anything, its the opposite.

They often have a lot of worldly knowledge, &understand that not everything comes surved on a gold platter.

By no means are country kids born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

And im not critisising, i raise my kids in the city &Milana attends a private primary school, likewise will our other kids.

Ive already noticed with her and my family and friends children, that they have some belief that being at a prvate school makes them better than everyone else.

From a young age i try and inforce to all my ids, Milana especially that she has done nothing to deserve what she has got education wise, it has almost nothing got to do with her regarding how she got there.

Hope that makes sense and i didnt contradict myself or end up sounding rude &s****.!

I also think your being somewhat judgemental about people that live in dangerous areas. Often, people cant afford anywhere else.

xo Amber

Answer 9

I think farm life would be the BEST way to raise a child, things are alot less complicated,  children learn about life and death from the animals, the fresh air and open spaces are great for them and nothing beats the REAL food that always tastes 100% better on a farm for some reason. I wasn't raised country but we had family friends that we used to spend weeks with and i loved it and always wished we could live there. I now live in a small country (but non rural) town and my dream is to move out of town so charleigh can have some rrom to move.....ignore the the ignorant they dont know what they are missing :)

Answer 10

Yeah, I have the same thing here in the UK. I live in Norfolk and ppl assume we are all country bumpkins even though our schools are better, the crime rate is much much lower and the ppl are a lot friendlier.

I watch American TV and it seems they are really predudiced against Red necks. Now I am not sure what they are, but I assume they are ppl who live in rural parts of the US.

I dont think ppl judge out of spite or malice. We all want to be proud of where we live and one way of reinforcing that in our minds is to slate those who live elsewhere. No0one really wants to believe that the grass maybe greener on the other side, cos if we thought that then we could never find happines right where we are.

You dont need to defend your way of life, it seems that you have a good life, yr children are happy, they have good education, why do you feel you need to defend yr way of life? I'll tell you why, for the same reason that I just said!! We are all teritorial deep down!!

So long as yr children get the love, support and encouragement that they need then where you live and yr way of life (so long as its positive) make no diference to there happiness.

Carry on as you are, yr doing just great!!

Good Luck