Do You Think The Woman Doing My House Inspection Thought Of My Dysfunctional House Today???

Question

So we had our first inspection today for our adoption claim. It could NOT have gone any worse!

So we woke up early to be all bathed and ready for the inspection, I live on a farm,so I have lots to do in mornings. Unfortunately at 8am, while I was in the back paddock, I see smoke coming from our front paddock. So we have had to rush down there and put out a fire from some twits cigarette.

Then while walking back up to the house, my horse decided she would like to have her fowl. *sigh*.

So at 9am this lady drives up finding Myself, Hubby, our 4 kids & our Godson (he is who we are adopting) all in our pyjamas, covered in smoke & everything else sitting on the fence watching my horse give birth.

To make matters worse she stayed there with us, then came up to our house and saw our bath time scramble, which when you have 5 kids (all under 5) is NOT pretty!! lol!

She wasn't rude at all, but I kept seeing her write all these things down, and my heart was breaking.

Answer 1

Unless you cracked under the pressure and started yelling and swearing at your hubby and kids I'm sure you haven't blown it. The notes she was making might have been good observations, not necessarily a bad sign. Relax and take a deep breath. Your life is certainly never dull is it?!

Answer 2

Doesn't sound bad..... you were just doing what you do.  They don't want the Stepford family.

When our son was a year old I got a call and just as I answered, everyone decided to yell. My husband was chasing everyone around like an alligator.

It sounded bad, and the person on the other line was the social worker.

Answer 3

Hi wow, you have had quite a day havnt you! First of all, I wouldnt worry too much. If she has any idea about kids and big families, then I am sure she will understand and things will be fine.

If you live on a farm and your days are usually busy anyway, then I am sure she will understand that too. Your obviously a hardworking mum anyway and I cant see how that could go against you at all. I am sure all will be fine. Just relax, you day has obviosuly been something that was ordinary anyay. It was probably expected.

Good luck

Answer 4

unless shes one of those snooty types with a stick up her butt, you shouldnt have any worries, life happens, and it sounds like it happened all over you guys that  morning.  a few towels and stuff laying around is nothing as long as  they havent been there for weeks and smelling up the place ( and it doesnt sound like they were)as far as being covered with smoke, again, life happens, you had an emergency.and the horse? well.. i guess that was LITERALLY life happening lol, she should expect such things on  a farm. I wouldnt worry TOO much, she got to see how your family handles pressure, and it sounds like you done ok :)  good luck :0)

Answer 5

It was probably better to see you like that than to have it all an act with you sitting there prim and proper. the way you describe it sounds like a lovely tight knit family enviroment which is exactly what they are looking for. dont worry xx

Answer 6

I think you sound like a normal family that has to deal with unexpected things in the morning.  You all took care of it and still got the kids cleaned up.

She should understand that.

Answer 7

I was laughing when I saw your question. So cute!lol! I know that the lady felt that you are a wonderful mother and that you love your family and all your children.I know that she just loved to see your horse giving birth - that's why she stayed and watched that too.

All the luck for you - having so many children these days is not easy and life in the country side is always the best place to raise a child.

Answer 8

Honestly, I think she was probably making note of how well you held up under pressure.

She was probably taking into consideration how you were flexible, handled the unexpected events, and just went with the flow and got all the kids ready anyhow.

Look at it this way.  Things may not have gone smoothly, but she can honestly say she saw your family cope with some very unexpected events, and can take note of some (I think) pretty impressive parenting skills.

I'm positive you'll be fine, you sound like you'll be a wonderful adoptive family for your Godson.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Lol, you should have seen some of the disastrous starts to my home visits when I was being approved for foster care.  Once I had to answer the door to my social worker in my towel because my clock had stopped and I'd just gotten out of the shower!!  We laughed about it later, and you'll look back and realise that it wasn't really so bad.  Chin up  :-)

Answer 9

I think she'll see how you've done under pressure - thats a good thing. Of course she's going to understand that this type of stuff doesnt happen every day - and my what a morning!!!

It might even work in your favour, you havent put on any kind of facade to try and fool her, you've been yourselves. Keep your head up charli, lots of best wishes are being sent your way!

Answer 10

lol,, she wouldv loved it!!!!!!!!!, sounded real fun, im sure she could see how lovely you all are, thats the most important thing!

youll be fine, good luck, i hope it goes well, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 11

It sounds to me like you took on responcibility and carried on your house hold.  Everyone know things can be out of controwl now and then.

It sounds like a nice and healthy invironment for a child.... I wish you luck and do not think the inverview was blown.  I see no reason to be denyed..

Answer 12

Your house doesn't sound dysfunctional at all!  In fact, it sounds amazingly functional.  Five kids under the age of five, a horse being born, a fire to put out, breakfast and baths!  It sounds like a place full of love and life.  I'm sure the social worker saw this.

Answer 13

It sounds like your house is just as busy as it should be with five kids. I'm sure she would be much more concernced if all the kids were bathed, dressed and sitting properly in the living room. They are looking for a picture of who your family really and truly is - and with five kids, there is going to be some craziness. As others have said, as long as you kept your cool (and it sounds like you did) - I'm sure you did fine.

They aren't looking for perfection - they are looking for a happy, safe home.  And, I'm sure that they realize that a foal being born isn't something that happens in your house everyday!

Answer 14

im sure she has had enough experience to understand these things happen, if she had of turned up and the paddock was on fire, you were watching a cow give birth and the kids were all alone in the bath that would have blown it but it sounds as thought even though you weren't all spick and span and ready, that things were all under control

anyone willing to take on 5 kids under 5 deserves a break

good luck with it all

Answer 15

Wow...Sounds like ou had one heck of a morning...And of course it had to be the morning of your home study! It sounds like you guys handled it like any other family. I think the fact that the Social Worker saw you guys working together is a big plus. Imagine what she would have thought if you had all of this going on, but everyone was sitting around waiting for her freshly bathed and proper.

This way she saw how you handle things, and I think the kids watching the birth of a foal is a far more important "life lesson" than having the so called perfect home study.

Best of luck to you and your growing family! :)

Answer 16

That's not a dysfunctional house, that's family life!!

I really wouldn't worry.  Just because she did a lot of writing, you are assuming it was negative things.

Relax, I'm sure it will all be ok and I hope you let us knohe outcome.

I think instead of putting your selves down, you should give yourselves a pat on the back for doing the courageous thing, taking on someone elses' child.

Good luck :D

Answer 17

I think you need to just take a deep breath. Things aren’t meant to be prefect they don’t look for that. You don’t have to be squeaky clean or have a perfectly clean home. You live on a farm where this going to be a lot of activity.  People are going to get dirty even more kids.  You cant control when your horse is going to go into labor no more then you could control when you went into labor. (unless you were induced or scheduled c-section). I’m sure this woman must know that you don’t have a birth everyday on the farm.  Everyone has those hectic days, its a part of life. As far as your small fire this things can also happen. You took care of the situation before it got out of control.

You have 5 kids all under 5 and take care of things on the farm. I applaud you.

Answer 18

Charli, she would have seen just what was going on - the normal goings on in a full household of 5 kids under 5!!! I dont think anyone would expect things to be all calm and collected all of the time!! And there was a little emergency with the fire, so im sure she would be understanding. Best of luck with the adoption process - although im sure you wont need it!!

Answer 19

I think she thought, "Geez, if they can handle all that, then they can handle anything!"  

At least, that's what I'm thinking, lol!  Good luck.