Do You know any one close who commited suicide, How did You cope?

Question

How did You cope with the suicide of a close person ?

Answer 1

I'm not against suicide and I don't hold any negative attitudes about it.  I think that helps.  I always viewed suicide as a way out, if things get too horrible in life, that is your way out.  It is upsetting for those of us who must carry on afterward, you feel sad, sometimes you wish you'd done something or said something to make it all seem better to the person (so he/she wouldn't have chosen death), but ultimately it is a personal choice that must be respected.  Right now, my mom has been diagnosed with cancer and she's had the surgery but is now considering skipping the follow-up radiation/chemo/pill therapy.  To me, you first fight the disease with everything you have using every weapon you have--possibly after you do all that then you can start considering surrender (maybe).  But we're nto going to force mom to do the therapy if she doesn't want to (although we'd like to).  It's a form of suicide--drawn out but still...  One of my coworkers, a woman I worked with 5 nights a week for 5+ years, committed suicide.  It was a shock and kind of hurt because she didn't feel [secure enough?  close enough?  sure enough to want to bother us?  whatever it was] to talk to any of us about all the things she must have been dealing with that made her decide suicide was the best option.  But every year around her anniversary, I do go outside and look at the stars (and so far there have always been stars shining on her anniversary) and just kind of say a silent hi to her, tell her I hope things have gotten better for her now.  I couldn't do anything to stop her or to make her life feel better while she was alive; all I can do is hold on to the good memories I have of her (and the others who have exited themselves) and hope things are better for them now.  And, no, I don't believe in heaven or h**l or limbo.  I do like to imagine (and it is only imagining) that my people are all up there among the stars, serenely looking down on what used to be their world and smiling at us all.

Answer 2

i think my brother wanted to kill himself, unfortunately he failed at that too.

So as you can tell I could careless. he's just a dead beat and a mooch.

Answer 3

Actually, yes.

Last year, I lost one of my friends to suicide.

Obviously, just the fact that he died was unbelievably hard to cope with....

But, what made it worse was...none of us (me and our other friends) ever saw it coming.

He was one of the happiest people you could ever meet.

Always laughing, or making others laugh.

Never let anything get to him....

And THAT was hard...because then, it made me think "was I such a BAD friend that I couldn't realise what was REALLY going on inside his head?"   "Could I have saved him if I'd TRIED to talk to him about stuff that, though he didn't show it, might be bothering him?"

But.....dealing with suicide is like dealing with the death of any close person.

I mean, grief is different for everyone.......but, with for me....it involved feeling very....lost for a few weeks.

The first three weeks after his death, I hardly talked.

I hardly ate.

I didn't do much but sit in my room and listen to music.

I didn't even cry at his funeral or anything.

And then, I woke up one day and just started sobbing.

And I think I cried for about 5 hours straight.

And then after that....my focus slowly started returning.

It was barely a month after his death, but I started regularly bringing flowers to his grave and I went to a grief counselor with some of our other friends.

And then, on the day of what would have been his 17th birthday, we had a big party for him.

It was like....a cleansing ritual, in a way.

We all sat around and shared memories we had with him.

We laughed and cried and everything.

And now, even though I still think about him a lot, it's in a good way.

I don't grieve the loss of my friend anymore, I just remember all the good times we had BEFORE I lost him.

It's never an easy thing, but....as they say, time heals all wounds.

x--Isabelle