Do adopted people often imagine that it's you against "them"?

Question

"Them" being everyone but me? That somehow, one person's negative opinion reflects the opinion of everyone in society, including one's adopted family's opinions?

Answer 1

I think some adopted people have so much pain in them that they lash out and try to make it sound like all adoptees or even most feel the way they do. I think they don't want to feel alone in their way of thinking so they make blanket statements like "adoption will desroy a person for life" and if I had a penny for everytime I heard "read the book, 20 things adopted children wished their parents knew".... Or the blanket statements about adopting parents "only wanting a baby for themselves" or "trying to steal someone elses child" (not that it doesn't happen but again, not the norm) Not that they are bad people though. Their pain should be taken seriously and concidered before placing a child for adoption and some groups are doing great education mothers about the things the agency won't tell them. Give them credit for their passion but don't take it as applying to everyone.

I think you don't hear much from the happy adoptees because they have nothing to complain about and are going on about their lives, not hanging their misery on a yahoo site.

  Didn't quite get the question but I hope i got it right. LOL

Answer 2

Well, I don't know about all adoptees, but I do often feel this way.  If one person doesn't like me or treats me badly, I think the WHOLE world hates me, including my adoptive family.

My adoptive family's opinion of me as the emotionally fragile and screwed-up black sheep of the family has definitely been a factor in forming my low self-esteem.  

That, on top of the fact that I always believed my own biological mother didn't want me, gave me the feeling of being an unwanted, unloved misfit that is very alone and isolated in the world.  And yes, I suppose therefore, me against "them".

Answer 3

actually i think they behave the way they are treated by the other members in the family. family support and care can change their way of thinking! :)

Answer 4

Are you adopted ? I cant answer this completely before knowing that

I do feel that yes many are people are in fact against me. That is however the *need to please* *the need to have everyone like me*

However due to issues from abandonment, rejection and other negative factors from being relinquished and then adopted into the *wrong* family ie *wrong for me* *completely and utterly different to me* despite how much they love me and how much I love them , I pi$$ most people off and often feel that its me against entire world *cry*

ETA : oh FFS so with 4 thumbs down so far this is trying to prove a point to me ?

ETA I think I have misunderstood your Question

Answer 5

So does being left handed and adopted make it worse?

Answer 6

Some days, yes.  But it depends on what opinions you're talking about...if I were to walk around telling everyone how much I LOVE adoption, then they'd be in perfect agreement.  

But try to tell them that it hurts in any way or that you're not happy about it, then the brick walls go up in a hurry.

Answer 7

I don't think so, my mom was adopted and very grateful to her parents.  She had a wonderful childhood living close to the beach.

Answer 8

Yes, I think that is pretty common.  I'd venture to guess it has a whole lot to do with the attachment issues that many adoptees have.

Answer 9

Yeah I really do feel like that. I feel like my whole life its been "Fists up!" because of being a (previous street than foster child) now adopted child. I feel like i have to fight everybody for everything, i don't trust anybody, and i find it really hard to love somebody cause i cant trust them to stick around. I hate being adopted and i hate my birth mom for leaving me in the hospital born 4 months early and dying. I would do anything to change my past but i cant so for now its me against the world.