Do adoption agencies provide a bio mother with separate attorneys and counseling than the Paps?

Question

If not how can that be considered unbiased?

Answer 1

no one gave my mother anything.  they told her she  couldn't keep me and to "move on with her life.  she would forget about me."

Answer 2

Private adoption for us. They had an attorney and I didn't. Since I'd known them almost my entire life and trusted them, I didn't know to watch my back. Let me say that I knew them very well up until high school and then I moved and we kept in touch over the years writing letters, calling, and visiting. Loved them more than my own family.

I received counseling through the mental health clinic that literally saved my life. The loss of my daughter, "Lauren", was  bad  enough, but the betrayal of my "friends" was the salt in the wound. I still haven't recovered and doubt if I will ever trust anyone again. That is a big issue for me.

Answer 3

when i made my plan (1991) everything (attorney, counselors) was provided by the agency.  that was one of the reasons that made me change my mind. i felt that things were a bit too slanted. hopefully that has changed.

ETA: i totally agree. and feel that any "sharing" of attorneys or counselors is inherently, biased. this indeed does happen with private as well. especially if the aparents pay for the f-mom's attorney or counseling.

Answer 4

My attorney was with the adoption agency in the USA, and the natural mother's attorney was in the other country.

Answer 5

Our adoption was private, and we hired an attorney who prepared the paperwork.  I offered to leave the room and told the attorney to answer any questions she might have without me there.  The attorney showed her the paragraph on the consent for adoption forms where to back out if she chose, and she was very clear with the birth mom that if she didn't back out by the deadline (10 day), that she didn't have any rights, unless fraud was committed.  The bmom chose to not see the attorney by herself, as well as bdad.   We all signed the papers, without any agency help, and we've offered to let her see him, which she said she would several times, and never shows up.  We did make it where she had to abide by our visitation rules, like with us at the house.

I agree that the adoption agency gets paid for making adoptions happen, and that they give very little consideration for the bmom.  It is usually the agency's attorney that advises the bmom, and she'd have to ask certain questions in order to hear the whole story, however, if she asks the attorney a question, based on their ethics laws, and regulations, if an attorney lies to a bmom, they can lose their license, and the adoption might be considered void.

Answer 6

Sorry guys but things haven't changed. No lawyer for me and the only counseling was from the same idiot working with the PAPs. Much to my horror I later saw the agency I got suckered by advertising their low failure rate due to having the counselors befriend the expectant mom so they feel too guilty to change their minds. They also had no problem lying straight to my face. Their counselors change agency branches every 6 or so months. I guess so that the moms always deal with different workers. Oh and this was in 2005

Answer 7

Attorney for bmoms? I certainly didn't have an attorney, but I did have some counseling on how and why I should relinquish her. But that was 36 years ago, hopefully things have changed.

Answer 8

Yes they do. Well at least the agency I used. There are birthmother counselors and then there are the adoptive parent counselors.

Answer 9

I went through a private adoption 24 years ago. The attorney who represented me was a friend of the adoption facilitator and the attorney's fees were paid for by the APs. I'm still trying to find out if the attorney represented both sides of the adoption as I have found out recently that the facilitator, attorney, and APs are all friends.

It definitely is not unbiased, I can't believe it's legal. If it is, it shouldn't be.

Answer 10

Most adoptive parents have their own Social Worker who conducts their homestudy and provides adoption counseling.  But some may go through the same agency from the beginning all the way through.  Adoptive parents do not have an attorney until after the birthmother and birthfather's rights have been relinquished in court.  They then hire an attorney to finalize their adoption 6+ months later.  The ad litem for the baby/child has to agree that the adoption is in the best interest of the child.  

The agency that works with the birth parents provide counseling for them.  Some contract with a private counselor for additional counseling as well.  There is by law a separate  attorney ad litem for the baby, one for the birthmother, and one for each named birthfather.  Each attorney must agree that the relinquishment was voluntary (in adoptions) and that the birth parents knew their decision was permanent. In some states, the birth parents testify in person and in some they do not.

Answer 11

The agency didn't provide any attorney, we found them ourselves. They play 2 different parts in adoption. I don't think I would trust anyone refered to us by and agency.

Were you provided an attorney by the agency? Were you allowed to use your own?

We too did a private adoption and had our own attorney apart  from the agency. I agree it does offer more flexability. Noone telling the two families what they should feel, dor how to act. I'm sure for most people, it is the biggest decision they will make to place or to adopt. I'm thankful we didn't have a go-between. No secrets, no lies.

Answer 12

I'm not sure the birth mother got a lawyer or not but good old LDS Family service didn't either bother to talk with the natural father just called one time and talked to me but didn't tell who they were. And sure didn't tell me when I told them that my son would not sign over his rights and that dna needed to be done. There answer was to go ahead and take the child and hide where the child was for 16 long months so they would be able to use best interest in court.

   And they call this a church a calling. I call it plain and simple  stealing.. And my son isn't the only single father going through this LDS has unclean hands in it all. Why you ask not for money but to get more members. To finish my son still has his rights to his child so the child can't be adopted and he get's visitaion. for now.

Answer 13

Yes