Do adoptive moms who wish to bfeed feel comfortable with the bmom nursing after delivery??

Question

I originally posted this in the wrong forum so do forgive the repost.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AomO1EwiBl6Dbodfa16H.4_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071106092609AAGjQzA

I ask this question because I am genuinely curious to know the motivations behind abreastfeeding. As an advocate of bfeeding, I do understand the benefits; yet, I have often found that many adoptive breastfeeding blogs and books actually prefer the the bmom NOT breastfeed the baby out of concern that the attachment will cause the bmom to change her mind. I find this concerning, since only the bmom can provide colostrum; and this whole adoption thing is to provide the "best" for the baby. So, is the desire to give the baby the best milk possible (including colstrum) or to just let the baby nurse with the amom? Let the games begin...

And let's play nice :-)

There were some good answers on the orginal board, so check them out!!

31 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.

Answer 1

If they could regulate the breast milk banks in the US and use a portion for those "who choose" breastmilk for their adoptive children, it may be a good choice. Now, the milk is shipped overseas to 3rd world countries for malnourished babies. I agree with this, as our formula in the US is very good.

If I had a choice for breast milk for my daughter, I would have offered it to her. However, our agency does not allow the bmother to breast feed the baby (attachment issues).  In any case, I would not feel comfortable with the birth mother breast feeding the baby, this is a "bonding moment" for ANY MOTHER.  I would feel comfortable if she pumped, realizing that this is another sacrifice she is offering, but would be very grateful.

Answer 2

The birth mother can pump and the baby will still benefit

Answer 3

I would not allow the birth mother to breast feed.  As you mentioned, the attachment could make the mother change her mind. As a matter of fact, I think that would be a given, how could anyone give up her baby after watching him/her breastfeed.  Many children do not get to breastfeed for many reasons and grow up just fine.  good luck

Answer 4

I'm asking this honestly with all respect...do the potential adoptive parents really have any say?

I mean, until the papers are signed, the baby technically belongs to his or her mother and she can nurse or not if that is her choice.

Colostrum is extremely important for infants.  It is full of antibodies and strengthens the immune system.  I can't imagine denying a baby something this important.

Answer 5

It seems that "whats best for the baby" morphs into "whats best for the baby as long as its whats best for me too" too often. I believe all mothers should be allowed to breastfeed their babies, encouraged in fact, regardless of whether or not there is an adoption plan in place. That is what is best for the baby, even if its not the most convenient thing for the hopeful adoptive parents. If she develops a bond to her baby and decides to keep him, sure its disappointing to the aparents, but its more than likely what is best for the baby. If the mother truly wants to keep and parent her child, why would that be a bad thing? I just don't understand how people can purposely put their own feelings ahead of the needs of an infant.

Answer 6

There is going to be some attachment whether or not the bmom breastfeeds or not.  She was pregnant for 9 months.  And she and the baby have already formed an attachment.  

I don't see anything wrong with it.

Answer 7

Wonderful question!! I wanted to reply before I read the answers!

I think that when the paps expect or favor for the first mother not to breastfeed they are putting themselves before the baby.

US adoption really encourages paps to "pretend" its the same as a child born to them. And thats really whre i see alot of problems coming in because they don't want to acknowledge the clear differences. By sealed records, encouraging manifesting the child to come to them, birth terms are also a form of lessening the bond between mother and child, taking the infant immediately ( which is shown to create a signifigant trauma to infants http://lizardchronicles.blogspot.com ) Its market driven for the adoptive parents or prospective ones in this situation anyways, so putting the "child" first, becomes less of a priority.

Its why you see so many dear birthmother letters, and so many of them that start with " we've tried to have babies for 10 years, we're infertile etc. " not to say that infertility isn't painful, i'm sure its terribly painful, but it doesn't qualify another human to have priority in an adoption over the infant itself. The obsession with having that perefct child then gets put onto the responsibility of the adoptees back, and thats a heavy duty to fill when you've just lost your heritage, mother, clan, identity and world.

Self entitlement in demanding of breastefeeding the infant over the natural, biological mother, who's body makes the only perfect milk for the infant. The perfect colostrum, perfect milk, with favorite touch, scent, taste, sound, and sight.  

its late, i'm rambling...