Do all people regret not having children when they reach a certain age and are childless?

Question

Just curious. Sometimes I think people push parenthood on others just because they want others to be like them. Like a cult. Now that I have my daugther she is the most important thing in my life, but I wouldn't push it on anyone, it is quite a sacrfice to do it well, and I don't think many people are selfless enough to do it.

Answer 1

I think all people regret not having children , deep down inside. When they realize it's not going to happen to them they might find good reasons not to have children just so they can go on with their lives. They might even start to believe it after a while but it's just another form of denial. My personal friend chose a lifestyle full of adventure and cruises and he chose not to have children. Now, in his 50's he suffers a lot because of this. He is not involved in a serious relationship and he realizes once he is gone there's nothing left behind him. It sure is a thought that can make you sad, don't you think so?

Answer 2

Not for me. Being married doesn't necessarily mean a couple should have a child/children.

One doesn't have to be married to have a child/ children either.

If someone chooses not to have any child be a couple or single person, that's their own prerogative in life.

Answer 3

I tell young couples that children are a major source of anxiety and negative cash flow and that they should think carefully before having any.  IMO dinks are to be envied.

Answer 4

I think the question of parenthood should be left to the potential parent. In reality, people do push having children on other people. But, also in reality, some people just aren't cut out to be a parent, or they are never really ready to be a parent. Sure, there may come a moment when a childless woman or man regret not having children. But, that also doesn't mean that it was right for them in their lives. It also may mean they WERE ready to have a kid, and the moment never presented itself. In that case, I am sad for those people.

Aside from the obvious and immediate benefits to having a child, there are all sorts of other ones as well... tax breaks etc. But, one shouldn't base their decision to have a child on those benefits either.

I think it all comes down to whether or not you're ready for a child, and if you never are... you may regret it, but at least you'll have the benefit of knowing you made a good choice.

Answer 5

"all people" is a very presumptuous term.

Answer 6

No only women feel that way. When you are oppressed you seek further oppression. Or maybe a tiny thing to oppress.

And this to handy man: my Mom has 7 kids who barely visit her. Why do I want someone's pathetic obligatory visit? I'd rather be alone than patronized.

Answer 7

When you're sitting alone in an old people's home and nobody comes to visit, you might regret not having kids then.

Answer 8

dont jump to conclusions about others not being as selfless as you think you are...i have 2 kids and i wouldnt push childhood on anybody ...because its something that cannot be pushed..there is a time for it ..birth and death are totally beyond human control..i know my kids will leave..like everyone else and when i reach my 70s i may as well classify myself as childless...because mine will have lives of their own...life is a great equaliser

Answer 9

i don't have any children and i am in my 30's. i will not have any children. i like my lifestyle and do not want to change it. i have put a lot of thought into this and even if i had a child at this point i don't know that i could afford the give them the things i would want them to have.

Answer 10

If you have children that you don't really want, they're not going to be treated well and that'll just start up a vicious cycle of child abuse until one generation just gets sick of it and decides not to have kids.

Answer 11

You're right parenthood is

full of marvelous things,

and sacrifices.

You can't be a good

parent until you're mentally

ready.  

To have a child because

someone else did is

playing grown-up, and

you can't be ready for

it.

Answer 12

You are right. I always felt (up until about 10 years ago) that I was too immature to have children (this ties into my PTSD, my extreme restlessness and inability to hold a job, and so on). I was aided by the fact that my first wife had a glandular condition that made it impossible for her to hold a fetus. My second wife had endometriosis, which coats the uterus with useless hard tissue. My third wife wound up having her ovaries removed.

So yes, I very much miss the presence of children in my life. I'm very playful and attentive to children's needs. I find it very easy to play with children; all you have to do is to wrestle with them, for God's sake.

Answer 13

Not all people.  Although I don't have biological children, I have mentored many of all ages.  I've spoon fed them tidbits of knowledge and encouraged them to make good decisions.  

Oh, and I haven't had to change diapers, stay awake nights (most of the time) or had to worry about paying their medical expenses.

Answer 14

I did not really ever have the opportunity to have children when I was of child-bearing age.  I only had one short marriage, and I'm glad we didn't have children.  I also am not the type to have children out of wedlock, and I think that was wise, for me at least.  I also see I really didn't have what it takes to be a good parent - then, at least.

OK.  So do I have regrets?  Not that I didn't have the children when I wasn't qualified, but perhaps that my life went the way it did.  Also I sometimes wonder if I could have done something to have it go a better course.

However, I now know that there are many young people who don't really have parents - they have biological parents, of course, but don't have anyone who really cares for them.  And I am going to take advantage of this void and my late-coming maturity and match up the need with the skill.  Better late than never, and I will get something like being a parent, if not exactly the same thing.