Do any of you adoptees get furious with Dr. Laura?

Question

She is adamantly opposed to searching, even though I don't think she has any experience to back her up.

I searched for 13 years before finding everyone. Now my parents and birth mom are friends--it's great. I hear Dr. Laura rail on adoptees every now and then and I want to send her a letter, but I figure it isn't worth my time.

Anyone else out there get as mad as me? (And I almost never even listen to her, either. So those questions must come up a lot on her show--she's really ruthless to those adoptees.)

Answer 1

Well I am not an adoptee, but I can't stand Dr. Laura. I refuse to listen to her.What a hateful woman.

Answer 2

I'm not an adoptee but instead an adoptive mom. I remember 12 years ago when I used to listen to her radio show hearing negative comments about adoption from Dr. Laura. She definitely has some issues with it.

I've always wondered if she has connection with adoption IRL.

Answer 3

There are several people I've gotten furious with in all honesty.  There are also some that when I read their questions, answers, and opinions, that I learn from them, whether I agree with them or not.  

My friend always said, opinions are like (a certain unmentionable body part).  Like it or not, we've all got one.  I don't watch the Dr. Laura show, as we don't get cable, however, I can imagine it's like the answers and questions here.  Many times, they seem to be on here just to rant about their personal experiences, right or wrong.

Answer 4

Adoptees are searching for their identity. It's plain and simple. They are not trying to do anything else. Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil. Who cares about these people. They're all about the money and nothing else. You did what you had to do emotionally and every other way. Glad it all worked out just fine for you.

Answer 5

The thing that ticks me off about Dr. Laura, is that her own heritage is SOOOO important to her.  

She became an Orthodox Jew  (from a Reformed Jew) as an adult, and had her Gentile husband convert, went Kosher, sent her son to Hebrew school.  She said she felt cheated because her parents were not serious Jews.  She completely embraced her religious ethnicity. When she refers to Jews she says 'my people'.

Had she been adopted, and lived within the law (not searching), as she believes adoptees should do, she could have been COMPLETELY cut off from her Judaism. She can have 'people', but we can't.

What she enjoys, she doesn't think adoptees deserve.

She also tells PAPs that adopting a child is NO different than having a child.  That is a lie.

And if adoption is so wonderful, why did she herself have IVF after a tubal ligation?  Why did she go through such effort to have her OWN child?  Because she wanted her own child.  Nothing wrong with that, but stop being a freaking hypocrite.

Answer 6

Dr. Laura is a hypocrite and presents a false-face.  She is NOT a psychologist and does not have a degree in psychology.

I think she hurts more people than she helps on every topic.

Answer 7

Dr. Laura is a jerk and a hypocrite. And yes, she is ruthless to adoptees and pretty much everyone else who doesn't suck up. She doesn't have a clue as to what she is talking about regarding search, reunion, adoption, etc. But when has that ever stopped her. Sigh...

She's trying to cause controversy, though. That is what gives her listeners and ratings and keeps her on the air. Don't listen. Don't buy her books. Start a boycott of adoptees and friends of adoptees (which >should< include all adoptive parents!). Only by ignoring her will she be stopped!

btw, if someone has spammed your question (or anyone else's) then don't give them a thumbs down -- report them! Much easier to get rid of them than #&%^#$^&$* Dr. Laura!

Answer 8

dr laura is a c**t.  she also has a problem with women who work outside the home, but her butt has a job, and she gets paid well for it!

im glad that you were able to find your birth mom.  everyone wants to know where they come from.

Answer 9

I think people don't like Dr. Laura even if they're not adopted.

Answer 10

Her "degree" is in PHYSIOLOGY -- not psychology, or anything else useful in her line of...ahem..."work".  (I use that term only because she gets paid to do it.)

I don't bother with her.  I am happily reunited for 4+ years and my mothers (yes -- plural) correspond with each other frequently.  My mothers are good friends.

I just keep reminding myself that someday "dr" Laura will die...and, if all the stars are aligned...she'll finally p**s off enough people to lose her contract sometime before then.  :-)

Yes, she's infuriating...when I think about it.  But, she's not worth the energy.  I do enjoy "outing" her on the whole 'lack of a relevant degree' thing.  I've always been surprised that more people don't know.  Hmmm...

Answer 11

I never watch her - but God how sad that she sends this message out!!  I completely support my childrens need to search out their roots - and I know it is no judgment on my parenting.  I imagine adoptive parents hearing her rants and feeling justified in feeling hurt by their children's need to search - uggh that just makes me mad thinking about it.  I suggest writing a letter and getting as many signatures as you can, THEN send it to her!  I will sign it!

Answer 12

I'm glad it worked out for you.  The fact of the matter is though that just as you have the right and the ability to say that people should look, she has the right and the ability to say that people shouldn't look.  It's an opinion and, like a$$holes, everyone has one.  Anyone researching the issue is free to take or leave her opinion.  If you look up the subject in text books you will find just as many different opinions on the subject.  She just has a larger platform then others to spout her opinion.

Answer 13

LOL! I've always kind of considered "Dr." (in B.S.) Laura to by my personal antithesis. She and Anne Coulter. Listening to either one of them makes me want to shrivel up into a fetal position and cover my ears. Their attitudes, their tactlessness and total lack of compassion makes my heart hurt. They seem to spread fear, hate and ignorance and yet I agree that they have a right to be heard. I too, change the station or channel. (Thank goodness for still having some freedoms in the world!) I just wish they could see what they are REALLY saying... :(

Answer 14

I don't think it is any of her (or anyone else's) business if adoptees shearch or not. That is a personal choice to be made by each adoptee.

I chose to search. I found my birth mother and sisters and I have never ever regretted it. had I not searched, I would have missed out on so much.

How does anyone who isn't adopted know what an adoptee feels?? (btw I have no idea if she is adopted or has any experience with adoption)

Answer 15

I don't listen to her...why is she opposed to searching?  Does she have some pseudo psychological reason for opposing reunion?  Is she an adoptive mother?

Try sending the letter, she needs to hear about positive outcomes like yours.

ETA: No prob about the thumbs down

I checked her blog, here's an excerpt  (NOT written by an adoptee,  but the writer claims she is "friendly" with an adoptee):

"She found her birth mother to be an unstable sort with a number of children from a number of men.  The turning point of her life was when she had her first conversation with her birth father on the phone.

He cried with joy that she had contacted him.  He told her that her birth mother had planned to abort her but he paid money to her and paid for all the adopting costs to spare her life.  Shocked, she told her husband and children about this revelation, and they were all so grateful for one man’s commitment to life."

Notice how the mother is painted as trash who wanted an abortion.  But the father, my goodness, he's a saint, he paid for the adoption costs and prevented the abortion!

Umm, didn't this saintly father get this woman pregnant to begin with?  And now he's eager to get rid of his inconvenient offspring via adoption, how noble of him!  Buy hey, its cheaper than paying child support.  

And how do we know he didn't want her to have an abortion?  Maybe it was too late, so he figured adoption was the next best way to get rid of baby love child.

This stuff is so typical, I have to believe its written by adoption industry lobbyists (aka National Council for Adoption).  

I'd say she's a shill for the adoption industry.

Answer 16

I used to listen to Dr. Laura religiously but her program is no longer on in our area. I agree with her on most things but if an adoptee wants to find their birth parents that's a good thing. It will help them feel connected. I  have an adopted daughter and I will assist her in finding her birth mother when she is older.