Do any of you have a special needs child and how do you deal with it?

Question

I do and I love her so much, I cry sometimes to think that I was granted with such a pure gift. She is not severly or mildly handicapped, she just doesn't always process things like you and I. I've worked with her to the point where she is the only child with slight autism, "Asbergers", who is in the Gifted and Talented Education Program, passed the test twice and simply despises profanity, loudness, rudeness, bullying. She wants to be a vet and an artist. It has been a struggle but I never gave her medication; I worked with her myself for 8 years, the last 4 of which were constant where I wasn't working, so I helped her. Does anyone have a similar story or even if they don't, I am starting a website about all that I've learned, it's been quite a journey. I believe we've won. How's your life with your special needs child no matter the severity.? How are you coping? I know it's hard but, be sure to look at your blessings.God bless and e-mail if you don't want to go into detail.

Answer 1

My son has AS too and I love him to bits.

Answer 2

I have not 1, not 2, but 3 special needs children. One severe, one moderate, one very mild. The older two, their problems didn't start showing until they were in school., so I didn't know when I chose to have a 3rd child what I already had been handed. I have a lot of guilt that my DNA was bad or something.., but they have 3 very different problems and my Dr. keeps saying it's just the way it is, not my fault. But all three kids!! It seems like more than coincidence to me.

One is now 18 and living independently out of house (moderate), one is 17 and at home (severe), one is 12 and at home (mild).

The 17 year old just came back after living in a private school for almost a year. He was home at least once a month for visits, but it was still really hard for me. But I have to say, he did learn and grow so much! He worked with horses there and it was really good for him.

How you deal with it is this.., day by day you fight for them, and advocate for them.., and it takes over your life..,  and then you try to take of yourself too.., and you learn what resources there are for them, and you use every one to it's full advantage.

All my kids are doing very good! I am so proud of them.

It's been so hard, so very hard..., but it was so well worth it! Even as hard as it's been.., it would NEVER trade them or my experiences with them for anyone or anything. They've been my stress and my blessing for the last 18 years of my life. It's gotten much easier now that they are getting older.

Answer 3

nope but i see special kids in my aunt's school, and i enjoy them because they play a lot but they don't fight each other, unlike normal kids who want to be first and on top of everything. they are simple and nature hearted even if sometimes they're getting a bit demanding. i dont mind. they're special because god made them different.

Answer 4

I do not have a special needs child, but I work with special kids and their families.  I can tell you that many families deal with it with joy and perseverance - and these are some of the happiest kids - special or regular flavor - that I have ever known.

Others don't deal so well; some have overwhelming and mostly unjustified guilt (I have a hard time assuaging the guilt of parents who used illegal substances while pregnant - it's one of my professional shortcomings) and others reject their child entirely.

I've found that the best thing in the world for the parents of these amazing kids is to hook up with other parents working with similar issues.  Most places have parental support groups that you can find through agencies, hospitals and the school system.

Have fun with your daughter!  She sounds like a real Gift.

Answer 5

I work with a child with autism that graduated from special needs preschool to mainstream kindergarten this year-he is academically gifted and will probably be in the gifted program when he is old enough.

Some people refer to this as twice gifted-a special eductaion need as well as being gifted academically

Answer 6

I don't have a special needs child but my brother has Down's Syndrome. He will be 39 in April but has the mentality of about a 5 year old sometimes. He still believes in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, Tooth fairy and all the other things 5 year olds believe in. He can't read and can only print his first name if you print it first to show him how to spell it. They said he would never live beyond his teen years and definitely not into his 20's. He likes to tinker with things, he can remembers how something is taken apart and how to put it back together. He is almost deaf. He has the strongest hearing aids available and the Dr. says when he can't hear out of those, there is nothing else stronger so he will be deaf. He has hundreds of cassette tapes he has recorded songs from the radio on and he knows what songs are on each tape. All the cassettes look the same, there is no writing on them but if you ask him for a specific song he knows if he recorded it and on which tape it is recorded on so I guess he is like "Rainman" in that respect. We don't know how he does it. He is always happy and I love him very much.

Answer 7

I would like to recommend another book for you, "All Cats have Asperger's Syndrome" by Kathy Hoopman.  It is a very sweet book.

I believe that God knew exactly who He wished to have non-typical children.  Of course sometimes I wish that my son did not have HFA but it makes him so unique as an individual.  Who am I to question God's plan?

My son's interests have ranged from the Kings and Queens of England (we're American), to baseball, and now to chess.  It's always kind of interesting to guess what the newest "phase" will be.

Have you ever read "Welcome to Holland", an analogy that a mother of a special needs child wrote.  It's very touching.  Google "Welcome to Holland" and you'll find it.  Best of luck to you.  There are a lot of us out there, you are not alone.

Answer 8

Nope, but I am one myself....not a 'child' anymore, but I am 25 with vision impairment.  I used to go to Virginia School for Deaf and Blind.

Answer 9

I have a good book for you to read if you haven't already Temple Grandin. She is savant autistic and she has a PHD is agricultural engineering. She wrote several books about her experience being autistic and I think you might enjoy it. I have a son with autism and I feel the same way you do. That's why it is called SPECIAL needs. The biggest concern for me is his vulnerability and the future of when I am not able to care for him.

Email me if you ever want to talk.:)

Answer 10

I have three children one with severe developmental delays and one with moderate learning disabilities and one with mild disabilities. My oldest daughter is the one with developmental delays. Since it was evident from her birth that something wasn't right it was easier to get her the help that she needed.  My middle daughter has mild dyslexia which didn't need much intervention just a reminder to her teachers about her spelling issues each year.  My youngest child was the hardest to get help for because she was functioning normally until she got to about the second grade when it was evident that she was having problems learning how to read and to write. The physical act of writing was difficult for her. I was told that it was normal for children her age to make the mistakes with spelling and writing that she was doing, but I knew in my gut that something was wrong. I have at least 15 other people over 3 generations in my family and hers who have some form of reading or learning disabilities.  It took me four years and about three different evaluations to get the correct diagnosis.  I had to have her evaluated privately a way from the school system because they don't' want to give a specific diagnosis because they don't want to have to provide specific teachers to teach them it's just to expensive.  I had to get her out of the "General ed system" After the private evaluation we found out that she was not only dyslexic but she also had fine motor skill problems which explained the issue with the writing. She also has processing issues and a non specific reading disability that's not related to her dyslexia. So she had not one but four learning disabilities that we didn't know about.  But it was worth it because it got her out of the public school system and she's been in a private school for children with LD's since she was in the seventh grade.  She's now in the 10 grade and of the four years she's been in this school she's been on the honor roll for three of them.  She's changed her major in college from culinary arts to pediatric nureo-psychology.  She would never have thought that she would have been able to do the reading and writing that's going to be required of this major.  But she's determined to become a psychologist and she's  already asked her psychologist to be her mentor when she graduates high school.  But since I grew up with a brother with ADHD in the 60's and 70's and a sister who was developmentally delayed I knew what it would be like. So the hardest part was making sure that the older and younger one got the services that they needed and that the middle daughter didn't feel left out.