Do any of you know any examples of whereby a woman got pregnant and aborted the child even though

Question

he would have adopted it?

I can hardly imagine how helpless a guy would feel if his girlfriend just said 'tough - I'm going to abort it. Bye'

I may be being naive but surely this scenario is very rare and very much the exception as opposed to the rule?

(Sorry for calling you Shirley).

Maybe many times the 'father' doesn't know.

Answer 1

No, I honestly can't say I do, although of course a woman who decides to have an abortion early on (under 12 weeks, when most are done) might not tell everyone she knows.

I agree it would be very difficult and painful for a man who wanted a child to have his partner or gf make a unilateral decision to abort, and that is one really good reason to talk about these type of issues before getting too involved with someone and indulging in activity which *always* has an element of risk (NO contraception is 100 per cent safe) unless you have undergone a vasectomy.

If it's just a casual matter and you don't currently and don't plan to play any big role in the woman's life, why would you expect her to automatically accede to something because it's important to *you*?

When you hook up casually, one of the consequences is not knowing anything much about the person, their priorities or wants. This falls into one of those 'deal with it' areas of life.

BTW, if the pregnancy was carried to term and the father wanted the child, he would not have to 'adopt' it ~ it would already be his child.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

Yes I do. My brother and his WIFE. She had an abortion with their second pregnancy. She got pregnant again a year later and kept it. They both want a boy so they're gonna have another, but who knows, that could have been him?

Another was a 20 year old guy who lived down the block.  He was so excited and telling everyone about it. I asked him how it was going and he told me that she had one, I said sorry and then said yeah it sucks. He stayed with her for a while but then dumped her.

Answer 3

No I don't and I'm sorry your going through this.  I'm glad to see you still have your since of humor though.  Keep your chin up and good luck son.

Answer 4

The closest thing I can say is I know a woman who had an abortion even though the father wanted her to keep it and take care of it with him.

Women who want to have abortions usually don't tell.

Answer 5

I don't imagine too many do - it's a very stressful decision at the best of times. But it would still have to be her choice, not his, even if he made the offer, because he cannot compell her to suffer through pregnancy and birth. That really does affect your ability to work, i.e. your career or school work will suffer for some time because of it, health problems - some long term, quite severe restriction of free will during the term of pregnancy, pain etc. So if he tried to force her to stay pregnant, that is controlling yes. However, discussing the options together and offering that is not controlling.

Answer 6

Regrettably, I know, personally about several such cases (professionally speaking), but it's rather difficult for me to discuss this very difficult issue (and moreover may constitute an ethical breach), my apologies.

Answer 7

About 20 years ago, there was a case in Quebec, Canada in which a man wanted to stop the abortion planned by his girlfriend.  It went back and forth in court, but he lost and the woman had the abortion.  I believe her name was Chantelle Daigle, but I don't remember his name.  A short time later, they broke up, he became involved with someone else, and was charged with assault against his then girlfriend.  Not too controlling.

Answer 8

"I can hardly imagine how helpless a guy would feel if his girlfriend just said 'tough - I'm going to abort it."

Which is why a woman would choose to have the procedure done PRIVATELY.  If she suspects he won't support her in her decision, she just won't mention it.  How on earth would he know?  Who would want to stay with a dictator anyway?  Get out, girl, while you still can.  And run for your life.

If a woman doesn't want to carry a pregnancy to term, nobody can force her.  That's All Folks!

*Yes, it is being controlling.  She's the one who owns the womb, not you.

Answer 9

That wouldn't work. If the woman didn't want the child, giving it to the father would still see her obligated to send child support. If he wanted it, she couldn't put it up for adoption- and she'd still be stuck.

The only way she can be sure to not have this kid in her life is to abort early. Guys complain they don't have that option, and that does suck for them. But there isn't much to do about it. She has the womb, you don't.