Do any other mums feel under so much pressure?

Question

To do it all and be everything to everyone, working, housework keeping your house spotless, being the most perfect mum having the best behaved kids and to look good? And keeping up with all the other kids who get eveything?

Answer 1

my mom is the same but she is relaxed . we are 2 kids and we did lots of stupid things :D and we still do but we try to gelp her how much we can

Answer 2

I figure the housework will be there another day and my son is more important. I don't worry about what other kids do or have because I can only worry and decide what is in my child's best interest. It's not a concern to me to do something because so and so does it. I've never been a follower. No kid and no mom is 100% perfect. Everyone makes a mistake now and then and all you can do is your best. If that means the breakfast dishes sit in the sink until 11:00 at night because you had a busy day or your child needed you, then so be it. Life will go on.  The word spotless afterall does not mix in a sentence with kids.  If you have kids you have clutter somewhere, admitted or not.  I don't stress if my child doesn't have the hottest new toy or most expensive birthday parties or even if he gets everything he asks for or wants in life. The word NO does come up just as much as the word YES in our house for him.  Kids that are handed everything they want when they want it, well, they don't learn any work ethic, they don't learn to appreciate what they do have and they become spoiled rotten brats living in a sense of entitlement. Ever hear of Veruca Salt?? Ugh!  

I'd rather have the house with some clutter, a child who doesn't get everything they want and who is appreciative of what we do have than a spoiled brat and stress over trying to keep up with the Jones' every minute of the day.

Answer 3

Oh man yes! I hear you. Mom of a three year old girl. I feel like I can never get everything done. Tired so tired... and yes pressure. But as you know it's part of being a mom. It helps to have other moms to talk to about it so you can kinda find comedy in it all. Plus things change with there ages it's all a matter of stages. Hang in there. And take a little time for yourself even if it's just a simple bath and face mask pamper day. What ever is like a little get away for you it will keep your sanity.

Answer 4

mothers have the most stressful jobs (besides being president)

Answer 5

Not really, so used to it besides it's part of the responsibility of being a Mother/Wife. I live to care for my children with the best of my ability, and to care for my husband with love and all that he needs... especially with a hot meal at home each day and a clean house, it makes for a happy family. I don't feel the pressure of it all since I don't do it on my own. My husband is always willing to help around. I provide for my children with whatever I can give them, we are not in competition with anyone where we need to get the best of the best. We get what we can afford and is reasonable.

Answer 6

It is very stressful...I feel like I never have enough done.  Hubby is sick right now, I did four loads of laundry watered the garden and changed litter boxes after making dinner and cleaning it up last night...didn't get to bed till 11:30...up with 2 year old this morning at 5, made breakfast for everyone, made appt for hubby, made appointemnt for sick cat, got kids in car took one to day care, one to Grandma's and then dropped off cat.  Was two minutes late for work and I just got back from the bathroom where I realized my underwear were inside out.  Is it time for me to accept I will never be perfect?  :o)

Answer 7

im not a mum infact im a daughter but yes mums are constantly under pressure to be a stereotypical mum who does the housework, bring up perfect kids etc. so i say stuff it !! be your own person yes do the usual stuff by try to include your kids into it for instance cleaning the bathroom sya well i will pay you £2 to clean the whole bathrrom for me then your work is a little less and they can save up to buy something by themselvs without asking you!!! but trust me TO ALL MUMS OUT THERE INCLUDING MINE YOUR WORK IS MUCH APPRECIATED EVEN IF SOMETIMES WE KIDS DONT SHOW UNDERNEATH U MEAN THE WORLD TO US AN DTHAT COMINGN FROM DA HEART!

Answer 8

I have a two-year-old boy, work 55 hours a week, and am failing at my attempt to get a college education. I simply do not have enough time to do everything. I am the main financial support for my family, and my goal is to get my nursing degree. Right now, I am a manager at a fast-food restaurant, and I often have to work past the end of my shift. Because of this, I miss deadlines in my online classes, as well as lose crucial study time. On top of these responsibilities,social standards push me into feeling that my home and my son have to look great at all times (which they don't), and I have to be Suzy Homemaker as well (which I'm not). Like I said, I don't have enough time for everything! I've learned that if my floor isn't cleaned every day, the world isn't going to end. I'm a clean person and my home is lived-in but kept up. No person (even a mom) is perfect!

Answer 9

I agree with all except that last part. You shouldn't worry about what other people's kids have or about keeping up with them. As long as your kids are taken care of, you're doing your job, no matter what brand their shoes or clothes are, or if they have a cell phone or IPod. If you're worried about that and trying to give your kids the latest just so they'll be keeping up with the other kids, then that's pressure that you're putting on yourself...

Answer 10

I do feel pressure because I know my kids are only young once, and I want to do the best job with them that I can.  I stay home with my kids so I do avoid the work pressure; my job pre-kids was so tremendously high-pressure that I can't even imagine juggling it with parenthood ... I think it would make me physically ill.  (I was an attorney).  Kudos to the people who somehow manage that! As for spotless and looking good, I gave those up quite some time ago.  I'll settle for not a biohazard and not looking slovenly.  I do want well-behaved kids (part of the stress that comes from doing the best job with them that I can) but I don't feel a need for the "best" behaved ones.  And the last one I don't worry about at all.  We're well off, but not compared to most of the people in our town (for them, think mansions and live-in nannies and ski vacations to Italy; for our family, think "house in need of major repairs", a babysitter for three hours once a month, and vacation to grandma's, lol).  It strikes me that it's good for my kids in the long run not to have everything their friends have.

It does strike me that what we all want is to be happy, and we somehow think that achieving perfection is what's going to make us happy ... but actually it's all the stress from trying to achieve perfection that's making us unhappy!

As for the stress, I find the best remedy is the kids themselves.  There's nothing like running around playing tag to blow off some parenting stress!

Answer 11

yep and the rough part about it is you never have a day off! but this is where its all priceless though! just take a deep breath and if you want write it all down on what child wants/needs and plan a specific day with all the kids and take them  on that day and get them it...nobody never said parenting is easy,either.

Answer 12

I DO!!!  It's sooo stressful trying to be superwoman and to be everything to everyone!  (N/A to the last question though, I don't worry about things like that.)

Calgon, take me away!  LOL!

You just convinced me that it's time for a day at the spa.  Thank you ; )

Answer 13

I do like to do it all but sometimes you just have to stop seeing what other people have or you will miss whats right in front of you.

Answer 14

having twins i learned VERY early you can NOT do it all.  the things that i worried about were if my babies were happy, fed, clean, safe, etc.  so the dishes were in the sink,,,big deal,,,the laundry was piled up, again no big deal (that and the babies loved to play in it).  i would fit the cleaning and such in when they napped.  i learned not to sweat the "small stuff" and to pick my battles.  as for keeping up with the other kids,,,i dont even try.   my kids have known from day ONE that they do NOT always get everything.  my kids get what they NEED and sometimes things they WANT. i may not be the perfect mom,,,but i am the only one they have and we make it work.  I still get complimented on my children and how they behave (they are now 11)(i must be doing something right).  they are healthy intelligent normal happy kids,,,in the end that is ALL that counts.  i do NOT worry or even care what others think of me or how i run my family

Answer 15

awww I'm not a mom, but I'm sure it's normal to feel that way. My mother essentially gave up and feels, acts, and looks terrible. She is still my mother and I love her, but she basically is kind of pathetic now and can barely afford to take care of herself (single mom). So yes, I'm sure you feel that way as a mother, but all I have to say is maybe that pressure is a good thing, bc when you dont have it you end up hating yourself and being a burden to everyone including your children. Dont give up, it's hard being a mom, but it's just something that goes along with it.

Answer 16

Your right!!!  being a mom is a 24-7 job, and you want to give everything you do 110%.  I work part time but can relate.  Just make sure that you take time to have fun with your kids:)  Looking amazing and having a spotless house is not what you want your kids to remember about you when they are older, you want them to remember the games you played and laughs you shared.  I know you have a million and one things that must be done during the course of one day but just remember to try a make a wonderful memory during that day.  Keep up the good work!!